


A Conspiracy of Ravens

by Senor_Sparklefingers



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Canonical Character Death, Exploration of grief, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kiki's having a BABY, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Post-Campaign 1 (Critical Role), Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Self-Doubt, Unplanned Pregnancy, divine intervention, lying by omission, nobody else is gonna die I promise, oh yeah I didn't mention that did I, post-dalen's closet, pre-Dalen's Closet, pregnancy fic, the major character death is Vax
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-23 00:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 70,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senor_Sparklefingers/pseuds/Senor_Sparklefingers
Summary: Conspiracy, noun: a secret plan by a group of people; a word to describe a group of ravens.Keyleth never claimed to be a good liar. And yet, in spite of that fact, she was able to lie to her closest friends, her family, for an entire year. She hadn't meant to...it just sort of happened.Like so many things following the fall of Vecna, it was unplanned and unexpected.(a year in the life of the tempest as the storm grows)
Relationships: Derrig/Nell (Critical Role), Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia (background), Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot (Mentioned), Shaun Gilmore & Keyleth
Comments: 233
Kudos: 414





	1. Prologue: An Unkindness

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to steelneena, my very good friend and beta. Thank you for putting up with my constant rambling and anxiety about this dumb thing. :D

Keyleth had never claimed to be a good liar. In fact, on several occasions, she’d openly admitted to being terrible at it, along with most forms of deception. Oh, she  _ can _ lie, when needed...it’s just very obvious to those who know her well what she’s doing. Probably to those who don’t know her well, either, to be honest.  
  


The fact that she was able to keep this as quiet and hidden as long as she did would be, in other circumstances, a minor miracle. She knew it wouldn’t last (she didn’t want it to last), but the right opportunity to talk to the others just...never came up. 

  
It comes out at the wedding. Because of  _ course  _ it would come out then, after a long stressful day trying to make sure everything was perfect for her closest friends, of attempting to come up with a speech on the fly, of worrying and wondering, should she tell them now? Would it be better or worse to wait until after the wedding? Could she get away with keeping this from them all for a little longer? How mad would they all be? Was it worth it, to keep going with the lie?  
  


Derrig had stepped in, calmed her down and broke her out of the anxiety spiral she had rapidly descended into the minute they got to Dalen’s Closet. She had been so...angry wasn’t quite the right word for it, but it was stronger than irritation...either way, she’d been  _ extremely  _ displeased with the council, at first, for insisting that she bring him, for thinking that she wasn’t capable of looking after herself, when he would have done so much more good staying home, looking after--looking after those who couldn’t defend themselves. But...it had been good, having him there. Having somebody who understood, who  _ knew _ . He’d stepped in, helped her with her speech, helped her come up with a plan to talk to Vex before she and Percy left on their honeymoon. If nothing else, he’d said, she deserved to know, and the rest could come later. It had been a good plan, and she’d finally felt ready to talk.  
  


And then Sylas  _ fucking _ Briarwood had decided to show up and ruin everything. Because of  _ course _ he did.  
  


The entire night had dissolved into chaos, a complete disaster that thankfully ended in what everyone hoped would be the final death of Sylas, an impromptu ceremony...and then Scanlan had used Wish, and Vax…  
  


He had been different. Of course he’d be different, he’d been gone for over a year, but actually  _ seeing _ the changes that he’d undergone residing in the Astral Plane...His movements had been stilted and his words slow and deliberate in a way he’d never been in life.   
  


But he’d held her in his arms, called her his home...and Keyleth knew it was still him. He was still their Vax. Gods, she had so much she wanted to tell him, so much she needed to say to him before  _ She _ stole him from them all again. But her plans were shot and she was free-falling, and all she could say to him was: “How am I supposed to get over you if you keep sending ravens to me?”  
  


Stupid. Foolish, stupid Keyleth, desperate to try and hear his laugh one last time.  
  


“I am...imperfect. As are the gods.”  
  


If she listened closely, she thought she could hear a tinge of humor in his voice. Or maybe she was just hearing what she wanted to hear. Maybe they all were. Still, it brought a weak smile to her face. “That was my poor attempt at humor. I’ll never get over you.”  
  


“Nor I...but you will  _ live _ . And your life...will touch thousands.” He had pulled away from their embrace, just enough so their eyes could meet. They were still the same shade of grey, still as bright as she remembered them being. And then…  
  


“Your children…”  
  


The entire cliffside was silent. Somewhere off to the side, she heard a soft swear from Derrig. Though she couldn’t see him, she knew that somewhere in the crowd that had gathered, Shaun Gilmore had froze, going rigid. Vex, who’s eyes had never left her brother, was suddenly staring right at her. Questioning. Accusing.  
  


He knew.  
  


Of course he knew.  
  


Keyleth recovered quickly, saying something about watching over his sister and her family, her descendants, for as long as she lived, and he had pulled her close for just a moment. There would be time to explain things to everyone tomorrow, because regardless of how she’d covered it up, the cat was out of the bag. There would be no more running, no more hiding this...no more lying to her family. But Vax would be gone before tomorrow...and regardless of whether or not that large raven with the intelligent bright eyes of the man she loved came to visit again, she would not see him off without telling him. He would not go back to  _ Her _ without her knowing for sure that he knew of his children.  
  


Keyleth took a deep breath before whispering in his ear, just before he pulled back to face the rest of Vox Machina. Their family.  
  


“Their names are Simon and Shaun.”  
  


His nod was almost imperceptible, as was the way he blinked once, twice, rapidly and out of synch with the rest of his movements, as if he was alive once more. He looked at them all, his family, his friends, speaking in that strange, slow manner that was so unlike him...telling them all to live. And then...he was gone.  
  


Again.  
  


She thought her heart couldn’t break anymore than it already had.  
  


But Pike called them all together to celebrate the wedding, pronouncing Percy and Vex husband and wife. Even though her chest hurt, even though she knew there was no more hiding, she still smiled, druidcrafting a thousand fireflies that exploded outward and encircled the couple. For a moment, in spite of the sadness she still felt, everything was perfect.  
  


And then Vex put a hand on her shoulder.  
  


“You and I,” Vex--no, Lady de Rolo said, “need to have a talk, don’t we.”

Well…shit.


	2. 1.

Returning back to Zephra was something that Keyleth had been dreading. When she had last left home, she’d finally been starting to feel a bit more comfortable with her role as the Tempest. She and Vax had been living together, tentatively starting to discuss plans for the future, now that the world didn’t need frequent saving from dragons. They’d been happy. She’d been happy. The future hadn’t seemed quite as long and lonely as she always feared it would be.  
  


All of that was gone, now, literally turned to dust right in front of her eyes.  
  


Between Vecna, and then Pandemonium, and the cleanup, helping the survivors rebuild...she hadn’t really given herself a chance to grieve properly. If she just kept busy, kept running from things, she could pretend that she didn’t have to go home to an empty house full of bittersweet memories and promises that would never come true. And there was always an excuse she could make. She needed to check in on the other tribes, they needed her in Whitestone, they needed her in Vasselheim...but Keyleth could only put the inevitable off forever. Eventually, it was time to return home.  
  


Everything was as they’d left it, before they’d gone to Whitestone for the last time. It wasn’t like they’d left in a hurry...but they had both expected to come back home, to return and pick everything up where they’d left off. She’d briefly returned to Zephra during the Vecna crisis, to alert the council and activate the Crisis Orbs, but Vax hadn’t come with her, and it had been such a quick trip that she hadn’t returned to their shared home, so did it truly count? She wasn’t sure anymore.  
  


Their shared bed remained, haphazardly made, his extra boots still on the ground by the door. Her alchemy supplies, scattered across their table, his spare daggers nearby, still waiting to be sharpened. A thin layer of dust covered all that remained of their life together. She stood in the doorway of their house, afraid to disturb anything. The last time they’d been in here, they’d been planning to meet up with everyone for Winter’s Crest. They were going to the Bay of Gifts...a tropical holiday. They’d packed up the important things, just in case anything happened. But they’d been so happy. 

He’d been so happy.

And now he was dead.

The wave of sorrow that hit her was not unexpected, but surprising in how strong it was. All the grief she’d been trying to hold back and hide overcame her, and Keyleth collapsed on the floor in tears, never making it past the threshold.  
  


She went and stayed with her father, after that, for a while. She wondered if he felt like this after it became clear that her mother was never coming home. If he’d ever been afraid to re-enter their house, to disturb any of her things or change it in any way, knowing she wasn’t coming back. If he’d ever been like that, she’d been too young to remember. The fact that he did, eventually, move on with his life, at least to some degree, was comforting.  
  


Keyleth just wondered how long it would take to get to that point.  
  


Her father was supportive, at least, in his own way. He didn’t ask a lot of questions, but he gave her the space she needed, made sure she got out of bed, kept her fed, kept her on a regular schedule, didn’t kick her out...he knew what it was like, when the person you love is taken from you too soon. He wasn’t always the best with words, but neither was she, so at least the silence that hung between them didn’t feel too awkward. And the distractions of life in Zephra did help, at least a bit. The council had assigned her a new bodyguard, in spite of her protests, and Derrig was...well, he’d been friendly with Vax. He missed him too. A lot of people in Zephra did. That, also, helped.  
  


She wrote to the other members of Vox Machina when she could. Vex and Percy were discussing having a second, more official wedding, Tary was busy with his Brigade, Pike was visiting Wilhand, Grog was in Vasselheim...everyone was piecing their lives back together. And she was trying to, she really was.  
  


It was just difficult. And the fact that she was exhausted all the time? Was not helping things.  
  


It made sense, she supposed. There was a lot of work to do as the head of the tribe, after all, to say nothing with the travelling to help rebuild in Vasselheim, meetings with the other tribes, general post-Vecna recovery work...it was exhausting, to say the least. But...it was strange. She’d done a lot of stressful, tiring work before, usually on a lot less sleep, and had felt far less burned out and drained than she did now.  
  


Keyleth shrugged it off as much as possible, chalked it up to stress and grief, and shoved it to the side as much as possible. Vax wanted them all to live, and if she kept that in mind, maybe everything would hurt a little bit less. Maybe she could find a way to fill all the new, empty places in her life with work and her duties, and eventually, she’d feel happy again. Or at least she’d feel whole again.  
  


Maybe that was what the exhaustion was. It was just part of her adjustment to a new life. One of many, it seemed. It  _ still  _ riled her up that the council had decided that,  _ apparently _ , the Voice of the Tempest couldn’t take care of herself. That she needed a  _ bodyguard _ , of all things...as if she was incapable of protecting herself  _ and _ the tribe! The fact that it was Derrig, somebody she knew and liked, somebody she knew  _ Vax _ had known and liked, did little to alleviate her anger and frustration with the situation (though she tried not to take it out on him, it wasn’t his fault), and she made her displeasure well known to anyone who would listen. Or, more often than not, those who were just trying to help her or be kind to her. Which led to her immediately switching from anger to misery and sadness, with no middle ground…  
  


Grief, she decided, was not worth the brief joy that love had brought. She would just have to be like a stone, and never fall in love again. Lock that part of her away and pretend she couldn’t feel anything. And, for about three days, she managed to pull that off.  
  


Then the first raven arrived, and the walls she had barely begun to build around her heart shattered.   
  


She wanted to be angry. At who, she wasn’t sure. Vax, for making her love him and then for dying and leaving her here, like this. At the Raven Queen, for taking him from his friends and his family, giving them no closure. At Vecna, at herself, at her mother for never coming home and leaving her in the position of leader to begin with…  
  


Instead, all Keyleth felt was a tempest of sadness mixed in with memories of happier times.   
  


Maybe if she’d been thinking clearly, she could have figured it out first. Or maybe, somewhere deep down, she knew and just didn’t want to believe it, because it wasn’t  _ possible _ . She wasn’t that far gone yet to start pretending on that grand of a scale. It didn’t matter, though, because in the end, it was Derrig who put the pieces together.  
  


It had been after another meeting with the council in regards to her solo travels to Vasselheim. Like the other meetings, it had ended poorly, with Keyleth storming out, angry and indignant, Derrig following behind her.   
  


He watched as she went off to one of the cliffs, sitting down and curling up by the base of a cherry tree, shoulders heaving as, he was sure, she was crying again. It had been some time since he’d seen something exactly like this, but...he’d experienced what she was going through, from a certain point of view. He knew, and he could understand. He wondered if she knew. With a sigh, he steeled himself up and looked up, catching the eye of one of the ravens that now flocked to Zephra, nesting on the roof of a nearby building, giving it a nod. “I’ll talk to her. Figure this all out. You don’t have to worry.”  
  


The bird inclined its head slightly, but said nothing. And Keyleth, wrapped in on herself, angry and sad and tired and weirdly hungry, didn’t hear Derrig approach until she caught the movement of him sitting down next to her out of the corner of her eyes. She sniffled, rubbing her eyes angrily as she pulled back, leaning against the tree. “I don’t want to go back and talk to them, Derrig. I don’t need them to keep looking at me like I’m a child who needs to have her hand held, like I can’t take care of myself! I’m the boss, right? Why can’t they just  _ listen _ to me when I say that I’m fine! Because I am! I’m  _ fine! _ ”  
  


He hummed and nodded, giving a small shrug. “You’re the Tempest. What you say goes, in the end. They’re just trying to help.”  
  


“I know that! But they keep telling me what to do, and...oh, like now I can’t go and help in Vasselheim? Now I can’t go and help the other tribes rebuild? They had no problems letting me go off before when there were dragons and gods at our doorstep, but now that things are peaceful, I’m just...just supposed to let us all go back into isolation like nothing happened?”   
  


“You know that’s not what they’re trying to do,” Derrig said with another shrug. “It might feel like that right now, though.”  
  


Logically, she knew that. She knew that, as far as Voices of the Tempests went, she probably wasn’t the best example, with all of the leaving home at the drop of a hat at the first instance of a crisis brewing. Things were supposed to be peaceful now, and she just kept leaving...but logic didn’t play into it. Not when they were lecturing her, giving her a bodyguard she didn’t want, trying to keep her from her life...but were they really doing that?  
  


Gods, what was  _ wrong _ with her?  
  


She let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and turned to Derrig, the beginnings of an apology on her lips. But he shook his head, put a hand on her shoulder, and said, “Keyleth. This is going to sound like an unusual question, and I’m sorry for my impropriety, but. Do you remember when you had your last monthly cycle?”  
  


It was such a left turn that all Keyleth could do was stare at him, unable to come up with an answer. It...it had been some time, yes, but she’d always been a bit irregular, and with the stress of Vecna and fully taking over as the leader of the tribe, she’d just assumed she’d thrown her cycle off. It wasn’t anything to think about, let alone worry about. And yet, her silence was all the answer that Derrig needed. “I thought so. Now, I may not be any sort of expert on the matter...but I did see firsthand what Nell went through with our nuggets. There’s some differences, but the exhaustion, the mood swings...it’s something you should seriously consider as a possibility.”  
  


Keyleth just stared at him for a moment longer, gaping, before bursting into laughter. “I...that...oh,  _ Derrig _ , that’s...thank you, I think I needed that...gods, could you imagine? I’m sorry, no, that’s not possible.”  
  


Derrig gave her a long, hard look. “When was the last time you were intimate with anyone? Again, sorry for the impropriety.”  
  


She shook her head, still laughing. “It was before Vax and I left for the Bay of Gifts, but...really, it’s not possible!” Her brief moment of levity died as she recalled exactly  _ why _ it wasn’t possible. At the time, it had just been an embarrassing moment of foolishness. Now, though…  
  


“Before...before everything happened, there was some business with Pike--sorry, she’s the cleric of Sarenrae I’ve mentioned. Anyway, there was some business with her family, and we lost a diamond off a cliff, Vex was freaking out, and I…well.” Keyleth blushed, remembering just how stupid her death really had been. “...I sort of jumped off after it...aaaand turned into a goldfish…and died. So. That’s why it’s not possible. If I  _ had _ been...what you’re suggesting I am, then that would have ended right then and there. So, I’m sorry, but it can’t be that.”  
  


Derrig hummed and nodded, though he didn’t look entirely convinced, and the longer he went without saying anything, the more time she had to think about it. She’d  _ died _ . But she’d been brought back almost immediately, with no complications. But dying would have put an end to...but if it was early enough, and she’d been resurrected soon enough, would her death have really had an impact? Not to mention she’d been a goldfish at the time, and while all the damage she took had carried over from that form, would that have helped negate something?  
  


Oh. Oh,  _ gods. _ What if he was right? He had four children, he’d certainly know better than her.  
  


The silence stretched between them, his suggestion and the possibility that he was right suddenly looming over her, putting everything she’d chalked up to stress and grief in a new light.  
  


“...I think I need to see a healer,” Keyleth whispered.


	3. 2.

The healer, in this case, was a cheerful halfling woman with a sizable brood of her own, who, like Derrig, was far more familiar with the symptoms of an expecting woman than Keyleth was. Keyleth had made Derrig go with her (this had been his idea, after all, and she’d told him it was a way to make up for his ‘impropriety’), and after some.. _.uncomfortable_ explanations as to the presence of a happily married man with four children and a wife, the healer had let him stay with her during the initial examinations and questions.  
  


She told her everything, after a bit of prodding. The exhaustion that didn’t go away, no matter how much rest she got. The way she seemed to vacillate between anger and sorrow, with the slightest perceived slight or barb setting her off. She tried to explain everything away as being part of the grieving process, and the healer nodded, urging her on. There were other things as well. Minor aches and pains that she thought were left over from past battles, strange cravings that must have come from her work with the Slayer’s Cake...for every possible symptom, she had an explanation, some way to brush away the possibility that she was...no. No, she wasn’t even going to think about it, because it was. Not. Possible.  
  


And when she told the healer about the Goldfish Incident, watching as the other woman’s eyes hardened and the beginnings of a frown formed on her face, she thought the matter was settled.   
  


“Well...that would certainly throw a stick into things, wouldn’t it,” the healer (Anwen, she recalled, that was her name) said, rummaging around in her supplies. “Your symptoms do seem to align with somebody in the early stages of pregnancy, but death and resurrection do have an impact on these things, especially in the beginning. There are other factors to consider as well. You said you were a...goldfish, was it, at the time of death?”  
  


Keyleth nodded, unable to meet Anwen’s gaze.   
  


“That could come into play as well. And this was after you completed your Aramenté...as you said, it could be related to your loss, or it could be a phantom pregnancy...without going to see a cleric, there’s really only one way to know for sure.”  
  


Anwen pulled out a handful of dried plants from her supplies, handing them to Keyleth. “You’ll need to boil these in hot water and drink it. They’ll taste a little bitter, I’m afraid, but you’ll want to drink it as is, to not cause any chemical changes. Once you feel like you need to use the bathroom, I want you to note the color of your urine--Derrig, don’t blush, I know you’ve been through this multiple times with Nell--and report back to me. If it’s a normal color, then you’re not pregnant. If it comes out purple, any shade of purple, then…,” she smiled wide, “Congratulation, Tempest.”  
  


Wordlessly, Keyleth nodded, gripping the herbs a little bit too tight in her hand as she walked out of the healer’s clinic, Derrig following awkwardly behind her. Neither of them said anything as he walked her back to her father’s home (it had been months now, she really _should_ move back to her place, she knew it), and he gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder once they arrived.  
  


“Well, uh. Good luck, then, I suppose, Tempest.” Derrig shrugged and gave her an awkward smile. “You’ll tell me what happens, regardless of the result?”  
  


Keyleth nodded. “I guess you’ll need to know, for your job. So you can ‘protect me’ better, and all that.” She didn’t mean for her words to come out as bitter as they did, but it had been a long day, and she was dealing with a situation she had never expected to be in. It was a relief when he laughed and shook his head in response. Even though the council had forced her to take him as a guard, Derrig was still her friend. She didn’t want to drive him away just because she was...could be...well, it didn’t matter yet.  
  


“I’ll speak to you tomorrow, Tempest.” With a wave, he was off, leaving her with the herbs and her swirling thoughts.

What would she do if she _was_ pregnant?

It wasn’t possible. She’d died. She’d nearly died several times since then, too, so even if by some miracle the Goldfish Incident hadn’t ended things, there were so many other things that could have. It _wasn’t_ _possible_.  
  


As she heated the water and added the herbs, Keyleth’s thoughts grew more complicated as the possibility truly sunk in. If she was pregnant...then this was Vax’s child. A child that would never know their father as more than a story and, if they were lucky, as a clever raven who visited when his mistress would let him off his leash. But he would still never know them. Vax, who would have been a wonderful father, who adored children, would never get the chance to know his child. And Vox Machina... _Vex_ ...what would they say? What would _she_ say? If the wound of Vax’s loss was still raw for Keyleth, she couldn’t imagine what it must be like for his sister, who’d never had to live without him before Vecna. She had Percy and Whitestone and her Grey Hunt to help keep her distracted, to give her more motivation to help her heal...would this knowledge rip open that wound once more? And that was saying nothing of the rest of Vox Machina, or Vax’s father and little sister, or Gilmore and the rest of their friends…  
  


She sighed, resting a hand on her still flat stomach that, for all she knew, could be perfectly normal and empty. All this worry could be for nothing. She might not be pregnant. That would be for the best, she thought, watching the tea steep, the water swirling and darkening in her mug. She would be a terrible mother. She barely knew hers, after all, so what example was she going to work off of? There were her duties as leader of the tribe as well, and as a member of the Tal’Dorei council (another duty she had been neglecting, another thing she was messing up)...no, no matter how nice it might be to see a child that looked like Vax and her, no matter how badly she may want this deep inside, it would be better if she wasn’t pregnant. She’d just mess it up and ruin things. It wouldn’t be fair to the child.  
  


“Only one way to know for sure…” With a grimace, she downed the tea (bitter, as promised), and waited.

\---

She didn’t have to wait nearly as long as she thought she’d need to, for the effects of the tea to make themselves known. She didn’t know what answer she’d been wanting to get, pregnant or not, but Keyleth had known that no matter what the results said, she wouldn’t be satisfied. If she wasn’t pregnant, that was that, and it was just another sad what-if the life she’d shared with Vax. A possibility that would haunt her for a while before, hopefully, fading away. And if she was pregnant, that presented a host of new problems she was _not_ prepared to deal with. No result would be good, but at least if she got a negative one this would all just go away eventually and she could, once again, try to move on with her life.  
  


She was lying to herself, of course. She would never move on, not fully. And she knew what she wanted to see when she examined her chamberpot a few hours after drinking the bitter herbs, even if she wasn’t willing or able to admit it.  
  


It didn’t make the tight feeling in her chest go away, though, as she stared into a pot of clearly purple liquid.  
  


She didn’t even know the first thing about being a mother! She was terrible with children! She’d accidentally _killed_ children before, how in the hells was she supposed to be a mother?

_Oh, gods. I’m going to be a mother._

_I’m going to have a_ baby.

What were people supposed to feel when they find out they’re going to become a parent? Joy? Fear? Excitement mixed with nervousness? Because whatever it was, Keyleth wasn’t feeling it, at least none of the positive things she assumed one was supposed to feel. All she could feel was...empty. Lost. There was fear there, but it was drowned out by the overwhelming emptiness that seemed to consume her as one question filled her mind, sitting on her childhood bed, the pot of urine on the floor, forgotten.

_How. Why?_ How?

It was impossible. Dead was _dead_. That was why Vax wasn’t here, it was why his Queen had taken him from his friends, his family...so why? Why did he have to go, but apparently their child, who had almost certainly died with her in a moment of stupidity, got to live?

_Why?_

Why had the Raven Queen decided that, no, Vax couldn’t stay, but this baby could? This baby who wasn’t a person yet, who was nothing but a set of impossible possibilities, who the goddess of fate seemed to twist fate for? What was the reasoning here? What was the _point_ ?  
  


Keyleth knew she should tell somebody. She had promised Derrig, and she needed to see Anwen. It would be prudent to tell her father. It would be foolish to not tell her friends. If this was happening, she needed the important people in her life there, to help her make sense of this unexpected miracle. And it could _only_ be a miracle, an act allowed by divine intervention.  
  


She should talk to somebody. But...she needed answers.  
  


So she would go to the place where she could get some answers, or at the very least, demand some sort of explanation.

  
Wordlessly, Keyleth stood up, mindful of the pot, the proof that she was going to have a baby, that she was-is-would be a mother. She needed to go to Vasselheim.

It seemed that she and the Matron would need to have some words.


	4. 3.

It was Lieve’tel who greeted her, a cool smile on her face as she gestured for Keyleth to enter the Raven’s Crest, walking with her into the heart of the temple.  
  


“I must admit,” she said, “I was not expecting to see you here anytime soon. It is a pleasant surprise.”  
  


“Yes, well...I need some guidance,” Keyleth said, eyes on the floor, staring at her feet as she was guided towards the communion chamber. “I know that Vax had set up a temple in Zephra, but--”  
  


“But that was his space,” Lieve’tel continued, “Full of memories of him that would make it difficult for you to find what you seek. I cannot claim to understand the depths of what you are feeling, but you are always welcome here.”  
  


Keyleth nodded, giving the other woman a tight smile, but said nothing. Lieve’tel hadn’t asked why she’d come, and frankly, even if she did, Keyleth wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell her. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell anyone about her...situation. Yes, she promised both Derrig and the healer she would keep them informed, but did she  _ really _ have to? It was still early in...in her pregnancy (Gods, that was weird to think about). Anything could happen. Giving other people false hope, giving herself false hope that this was real...it wasn’t fair.  
  


Regardless, she didn’t think Lieve’tel would appreciate it if she told her that she’d only visited so she could yell at her goddess about her situation. So she kept silent and let herself be led to the communion chamber.  
  


She was familiar with how followers of the Matron communed with her. She’d seen Vax do it in Zephra a few times, he’d described to her what was involved as well, so she wouldn’t be too concerned when he came home with blood behind his ears. But standing in front of the large pool of blood, so much more ornate and ancient…  
  


“So I just...get in?”  
  


Lieve’tel nodded silently, a strange, unreadable smile on her face as she gestured towards the pool. “May She give you the answers you seek. I will be here when you return.”  
  


Keyleth nodded again, letting out a sigh as she took her first step into the pool. Her first thought was that it was  _ fucking cold _ , and she wasn’t sure what would have been worse, a pool of cold blood or warm blood. Both were terrible, but in different ways... _ why _ did the Raven Queen use this to commune with her followers? It was baffling and, honestly, a little gross.   
  


She could still turn back. She could still get out of the pool and leave and try to deal with this on her own, just let her unanswered questions rest. Accept this miracle for what it was and let the rest go.  
  


But she deserved answers. And there were things she needed to say to the Raven Queen, goddess or not. And with one last breath, Keyleth dove into the pool and started to swim down.  
  


It was...swimming in blood was  _ weird,  _ and the pool was so much deeper than it looked from the outside. Her eyes were clenched shut, and she was left to swim blindly down to a bottom that never seemed to arrive. Her lungs were burning, the pressure seemed to be growing, she needed to breathe, needed to shift to something that  _ could _ breathe, but as she tried to shift to a water elemental, to a goldfish, to anything that could survive in this sort of environment, she found she  _ couldn’t _ , her chest was on  _ fire, she was going to die--  
  
_

And then everything stopped. The burning, the pressure, the feeling of blood around her, it all went away, and Keyleth opened her eyes, gasping for breath as she stared into the darkness.  
  


It was like...being in a void. She was surrounded by nothingness that somehow seemed to have a dull red tint to it, her form solid yet seeming to float in the empty space surrounding her. She could breathe again, but it somehow felt like she didn’t  _ need _ to? Was this the Astral Plane, or at least part of it? Vax had described it to her once, what it was like when he communed with his goddess but he’d admitted that there weren’t really words to describe the place, the feeling. Keyleth frowned and looked around, blinking a few times as she tried to get her bearings. “Okay, so...we’re here, I guess...now what…”  
  


She was alone, and had no idea how to get the attention of the Raven Queen, if She was even here. Her frown deepened and she took a step (step? Did it count if there wasn’t any ground?) forward, calling out into the darkness. “Hello? Is anyone there? Raven Queen? I need to talk to you, I guess…” There was no response. Keyleth’s frown deeped and she let out an irritated sigh that echoed around her in the void. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy, she was trying to contact a goddess, one that she didn’t have any particularly kind feelings for at the moment, shouting for Her wasn’t going to do any good.   
  


A thought suddenly came to her, and she stopped walking (if it counted as walking, the Astral Plane was weird), looking around, before calling out once more, her voice hesitant, unsure, almost quiet. “...Vax? I don’t...are you here? I...I really need to talk to you, or your Queen, or…” She trailed off, unsure, trying to swallow back any hope that threatened to bubble in her chest. “...If you’re here...can you let me know?”  
  


The silence that answered her was deafening. It seemed to stretch on forever, and her heart fell, the pieces she’d been trying and failing to glue back together cracking and shattering once again, aching and leaving her hollow and gasping for breath.  
  


And then…

_ “Keyleth of the Air Ashari. Voice of the Tempest.” _

The feminine voice, calm and even and very, very powerful, surrounded her. And standing before her, towering unnaturally above her, white mask gleaming in the darkness, was the Raven Queen.  
  


The goddess’s tone was unreadable, face hidden behind gleaming porcelain, Her head inclining slightly as She stared down at Keyleth, examining her, like a curious child would a particularly interesting bug. Something in Keyleth burned, and she flushed under Her gaze, staring down into the void.  _ “I have been expecting you.”  
  
_

There was something about Her tone of voice--how even and emotionless yet somehow calm at the same time, how She somehow seemed  _ bored _ , like this was unimportant, insignificant, like she didn’t matter at all--that set Keyleth off, the burning in her chest catching on the storm of emotions, fueled by the Raven Queen’s appearance of indifference.   
  


“How dare you,” she hissed, clenching her fists as she looked up lock eyes with the goddess, all other questions or rational thoughts burned away by the rage that threatened to boil over inside her. “How  _ dare _ you! You...you think it’s okay to take Vax because it’s ‘his time’, because he’s ‘fate touched’ or this was destined, and you won’t let any of us try to help him...but then you go around and manipulate fate to do  _ this _ ?” She gestured angrily at her stomach. “I  _ died _ . I jumped off a  _ fucking cliff _ . Whatever...whatever was going to happen here? It died with me. My friends brought  _ me _ back, not this! So what gives you the right to manipulate things here when you wouldn’t let us even  _ try _ to save him?”  
  


In the back of her mind, she knew she shouldn’t be lashing out like this, that her actions were unwise at best, and she should be grateful for this gift. She should thank the Raven Queen for doing whatever she did, regardless of her reasoning. But Keyleth was tired, she was angry, the unfairness of the situation and the hypocrisy of Vax’s queen combined with her seeming indifference had set her off, her grief turning into an anger that couldn’t be bottled away anymore.  
  


“You’re the goddess of fate, right? You let us live our lives and don’t intervene because things are supposed to happen, so what gave you the right to step in and change things here? Why do that and not even give a sign? Do you think we would have rushed into things, knowing about this? Did you want him by your side that badly?”  
  


The Raven Queen said nothing, tilting her head slightly as she regarded Keyleth.  
  


“Dammit, say something!! Just tell me why! Why fix things so this...this baby gets to live, when we both know this shouldn’t be happening?”  
  


The rage that had flared up and burned through her had lost its fuel, leaving her feeling hollow, hopeless, begging for answers from behind a mask of righteous indignation.  
  


“He loved kids...he would have been so  _ happy _ about this...why are you letting this happen when he can’t be here? Why take him and still let this happen?”  
  


There was nothing but silence, the Raven Queen making her feel small as she finally looked away from the goddess, staring down into the inky blackness surrounding them both.  
  


_ “You speak to me of Fate, Keyleth of the Air Ashari, but what do you truly  _ know  _ of fate? Of destiny?” _ The Raven Queen was suddenly right in front of her, no longer looming large but still imposing and towering in Her presence. Her voice, Keyleth noted, was unexpectedly...soft. Sympathetic and almost...understanding. Human.  
  


She blinked, and suddenly the empty space was filled, the darkness lit up by an impossibly large web of threads that seemed to stretch on forever. The Raven Queen looked at Keyleth for a moment more before stepping away into the threads, which shifted and moved around Her.  
  


_ “Fate is not set in stone, _ ” She said, gently running a finger along one of the threads.  _ “There are some things that will always happen, regardless of the road taken to get there. _ ” One of the threads near Keyleth seemed to glow brighter, before dimming softly.  _ “Other things that are meant to be...may not happen, due to events outside of even my control.”  _ The dimming strand’s light grew softer, fading away until it was impossible to see.   
  


_ “There is no answer that I can give you, Keyleth of the Air Ashari, that will satisfy or answer your questions. _ ”  
  


She knew that. Of course she knew that, what had she been thinking, going into a sacred space and demanding answers? What good was throwing a tantrum and yelling going to do?  
  


_ “Though he has returned to my side, the work of my Champion has not ended, nor will it for some time. He has sacrificed much in his service. And sacrifice...deserves to be honored. Rewarded.”  
  
_

With a wave of Her hand, the Raven Queen summoned another strand from the web, shining brighter than all the others. Looking at the thread, at the way it made Keyleth’s chest ache, the way the goddess held it close, almost lovingly, it was clear who this belonged to.   
  


_ “Vax’ildan’s legacy will span far beyond what you can comprehend, Keyleth of the Air Ashari. His name will be whispered in prayer for a millenia beyond when you take your last breath, his deeds at my side will eclipse his mortal heroism. It has already begun, though you cannot see it yet...perhaps,”  _ She said, running a finger along the thread gently,  _ “Perhaps you will live long enough to bear witness to His rise.”  
  
_

Keyleth prickled, her temper rising once more as she watched the Raven Queen caress Vax’s thread. Okay, it was bad enough that She’d come and taken him back, barely even gave them a chance to say goodbye, but did She have to be so  _ creepy _ in Her affection? And what did She mean, his legacy? He was  _ dead _ . His legacy would only last as long as she and his family lived...so admittedly, it would be a good two thousand years or so before he was forgotten, but  _ still _ .   
  


The way the goddess was talking, it almost sounded like she expected Vax to have...to have followers. Worshippers.

No.  _ No _ . There was absolutely no way She was talking about...they’d  _ just  _ lost him, how could he already...how was that even possible? They’d just defeated a would be god, for Vax to do what She was implying seemed impossible. She had to be mistaken, goddess or no goddess.  
  


Keyleth barely had time to process the implications in the Matron’s words, the possibilities presented in them being pushed away as the Raven Queen moved, no longer looking at her, the thread of fate still in Her hand. She did...something to it. Keyleth couldn’t make out what it was she had done, but as She dismissed Vax’s thread, there were two smaller strands, no less bright and blinding, gently cupped in Her hand. Looking at them made her chest ache just as much as looking at the larger thread had, if not moreso, and she was struck with the sudden urge to try and reach out and snatch them out of Her grip, not wanting Her to hold them as She held their father.  
  


_ “But there is immortality in a lineage that I cannot give him. He left a piece of himself behind, but a twist that should not have occurred ended that before it could begin. I merely corrected the error.”  
  
_

She inclined Her head to Keyleth once again.  _ “You carry my gift to him, Tempest. A gift that will shape the world and alter my design much as he did. A living legacy of my Fate-touched champion. Take care, for I do not believe I can correct your mistake again.”  
  
_

Whatever goodwill the Raven Queen might have earned in their conversation, whatever benefit of the doubt Keyleth had been willing to try and give Her, that went away as Her words echoed, her temper flaring again as she clenched her fists.  
  


“So...so what, I’m just supposed to be a, a broodmare for your present for Vax? Do I have any choice in this? Is this baby just supposed to exist and follow your will blindly? Does he even  _ know  _ what you’ve done?”  
  


He would hate this. Hate this idea of his child growing up with the shadow of his loss looming over them, hate not being there for every major moment. Hate that they might grow up without the freedom of choice because his Queen had decided to give him what was, under the circumstances, a pretty fucked up gift.  
  


He didn’t deserve that. The baby,  _ her _ baby, didn’t deserve that.  
  


The Raven Queen was silent, the web of fate fading into the darkness behind her, the two strands in Her hand disappearing out of sight.  _ “I can see why he loves you still. That fire inside of you, Keyleth of the Air Ashari, Voice of the Tempest, will shape the lives of thousands. Take care how you wield it.”  
  
_

Before she could respond, the goddess seemed to fade back into the darkness, Her white porcelain mask the last thing to disappear, and suddenly, Keyleth was rushing towards the surface, gasping and coughing for breath in the center of the communion pool. There were hands on her shoulders, guiding her out of the blood, helping her get her footing. As she blinked and rubbed at her eyes angrily, wiping away blood and tears, Lieve’tel cut through her storm of angry thoughts as she handed her a towel.   
  


“I take it you didn’t like what She had to tell you.”  
  


“That’s one way of putting it,” she grumbled, taking the offered towel. “Is it always that...cryptic?”  
  


Lieve’tel laughed softly and led her out of the communion chamber. “It can be. It depends on what you ask of Her, and what She is willing to tell. Sometimes the meaning of Her words only becomes apparent in time. As it is, I’m sorry it was not more helpful in the immediate.”  
  


Keyleth nodded and shrugged. “It’s not your fault...hey, Lieve’tel, can you do me a favor?”  
  


“Of course.”  
  


“If...if any of the others come by, for whatever reason, can you not tell them I was here? Please?”  
  


Lieve’tel was quiet, stopping and looking at her in a way that reminded her uncomfortably of Vax. The way her eyes bore into her, the way she seemed to know what she was thinking without saying a word...it was too familiar, too much of an unwanted reminder. After a moment, she nodded, giving Keyleth a small, unreadable smile. “I will be honest with you, Keyleth. I did not expect to see any of Vox Machina for some time, least of all you, given the circumstances under which we met. I know this was uncomfortable for you, so whatever your reasons were for visiting, I will keep your presence here quiet, should any of your family come calling.”  
  


She breathed a sigh of relief, nodding and thanking Lieve’tel as they made for the exit. As she left, she handed the blood soaked towel back to the other woman, giving her an awkward smile. “Thank you. I really appreciate this, and you being so discreet...I know this was probably uncomfortable for you too, so...yeah. Thank you.”  
  


“Of course, Keyleth. Good luck, and I hope our next meeting is under better circumstances.”  
  


It wasn’t until she had left Vasselheim and was back home, debating on how to tell her father, how to talk to Derrig, how to even begin with the rest of her family, that she was struck by something from her talk with the Raven Queen, something she’d forgotten about in her anger:

There had been two threads, split off from Vax.

She was having twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will pry death god!Vax from my cold dead hands. I will work him into things whenever possible and you cannot stop me.


	5. 4.

Once the realization that this was not only happening, but it was happening with twins (because of course it was, twins ran in his family, and gods forbid the Raven Queen make Her fucked up present any less complicated than it already was), she had a quiet panic attack in her room at her father’s house, the reality of her situation settling and weighing down on her.  
  


What the hell was she supposed to do now? She and Vax hadn’t even begun to talk about children, and now she was doing this alone, and with  _ twins _ . She didn’t know anything about children! She’d  _ killed _ children before! She’d killed  _ these  _ children before! Not intentionally, but it had still happened, and what did that say about her and her babies’ chances?  
  


Gods, and the Raven Queen...this had been Her work, and no matter how She’d framed it as some sort of gift to Vax, there was no way there wasn’t an ulterior motive there. Were these babies going to be pawns in some sort of game She was playing? A way to get a foothold in the prime material plane, now that Vax was gone? Was she even going to get to try and be a mother to them, or was the Raven Queen going to steal them away as soon as they were born?  
  


“Okay, Keyleth, calm down,” she said to herself in a shaky voice, clutching hard at the sheets of her childhood bed, her breath coming in short, useless bursts. “Breathe, you need to breathe...in, out...okay…again...”  
  


There were positives here. There  _ had  _ to be some positives,  _ something  _ good about this whole thing she could cling to whenever she felt like she was drowning. She just...needed to find them, and think of them, and proceed from there. 

“Okay...positives…”

Well...the babies themselves - divine meddling aside - were a positive, right? Yes, the whole situation was probably the worst way that this could have happened, but it wasn’t their fault…

She closed her eyes, trying to picture them. Right now, they weren’t more than just a queasy feeling in her stomach, a rolling of nerves and a soft fluttering sensation, more concepts then people. It was hard to visualize them when they were just a vague idea, but she tried to imagine the sort of people they would be. Would they look more like her or Vax? Would they be identical, like Vax and Vex had practically been? Would they have magic in their blood, spells coming as easily to them as breathing? They were full of so many possibilities right now, so many things they could be, could become…  
  


Slowly, an image formed in her mind. Two little children, with softly pointed ears, bright eyes, and wide smiles. They were their own unique people, not quite her nor their father, but the best of both of them. She could see them, holding hands and running through the streets of Zephra, playing with Derrig’s brood, listening to stories at their grandfather’s knee, living the sort of carefree childhood that she still remembered fondly.   
  


Her grip on the sheets loosened, her breathing evened out, and as she opened her eyes, the image of those smiling faces still in her mind, she made a decision.

Fuck the Raven Queen. 

Fuck Her grand design and whatever plans She had for these children. She’d already taken Vax, She was  _ not _ going to take his children either. If this was going to happen, it was going to be on her terms. These were Keyleth’s children, and their lives were going to be their own, no matter what it took. She knew she wasn’t going to be a great mother, but dammit, she was going to try to give her children the sort of happy childhood she’d briefly had, and  _ nobody _ , not a goddess or a council, an ambassador or a chief, or even Keyleth herself, was going to impose some sort of predetermined life onto them.  
  


“You hear that, you two?” she said softly, pressing a hand to her still flat stomach. “You get to choose whatever you want to do with your lives, and I promise, even when I’m not the greatest mom out there, I’ll make sure you always have that.”  
  


Well. That seemed like a pretty big positive to have found, she thought, a small smile coming to her lips. And there had to be others, as well. She wasn’t doing this alone, not really, no matter how it might have felt just moments before. She had her father, for starters, and she had Derrig and Nell and the whole of Zephra behind her. 

And of course, there was Vox Machina.

As quickly as it had come, the smile slipped away and she frowned a little, heart sinking slightly as she tried to figure out exactly how to tell them all. A group meeting would be best...get it all out of the way at once, no need to drag this out. She could almost picture their faces, the way they’d react to her news. First, the confusion, followed by misunderstanding and anger (some masked better than others), because how else could this have happened, with Vax having been gone for a few months now? An awkward explanation, more anger, not directed at her but at the situation in general. There was probably joy in there, somewhere, but it was drowned out by a sea of negative emotions, lingering anger and, probably, some distrust, because it is an awful convenient explanation, isn’t it?  
  


Keyleth sighed. Maybe she wouldn’t tell them all, at least not yet. She just needed some time to come up with a better way to do this. Besides, this was all still early. Given the unusual circumstances, she couldn’t be sure of how far along she actually was, and things could happen…things had already happened, if she was going to get technical about it. They’d just...been undone.

_ I do not believe I can correct your mistake again. _

If something happened this time, though...that would be it. No second, or more accurately, third chances. No divine intervention. 

She needed to be careful. Until she was absolutely sure that things were on track, and everything was alright, she wouldn’t tell Vox Machina. They were her family, they’d understand. She wouldn’t get their hopes up only to have them go through losing Vax, or at least a part of him, all over again. She couldn’t do that to them. Especially not to Vex.  
  


Fuck,  _ Vex. _ Vex would want to know, though, regardless of everything else. These were her brother’s children, the only ones he’d ever have, she’d want to be there for everything. She might be able to get away with not telling Vox Machina, but she had to tell Vex. Vex deserved to know.

The question was, how to tell her?

She groaned, rolling onto her side as she thought of all the ways this could backfire spectacularly. Best case scenario, Vex believed her insane story and was there for her every step of the way, the supportive best friend and sister she’d always been. That wasn’t really so bad. It might even be nice, having Vex helping her through this.  
  


But all she could see was that heartbroken look on her face, the grief in her eyes as she watched her brother, her other half, walk into the waiting darkness. The grim, devastating acceptance. How the pain she must be feeling was so much worse than Keyleth could comprehend. Vax had left with her heart, yes, but he’d taken part of Vex’s soul with him, the part she’d never had to live without.  
  


How could Keyleth tell her about this, give her hope, give her  _ something _ , only to have the worst happen, to lose this last thread, and break her closest friend, her sister, all over again?  
  


“...I’ll tell Vex last,” she decided, muttering into her pillow. That way, if something went wrong, Vex would never know what she’d lost. That would be for the best. She didn’t deserve any more sorrow in her life, not when she was starting to rebuild with Percy, when happiness was close at hand.

In the end, she decided to tell Derrig first.

There were a lot of reasons she decided he should be the first to know, as opposed to her father or healer Anwen or any of her other friends. For starters, he was the one who’d put the pieces together first, figured out what she hadn’t been able to see. He made her see the healer, went with her, asked all the questions she was too nervous to ask. There was also the fact he was her bodyguard (something she was still irritated about, and likely always would be, but that wasn’t his fault), and this was probably the sort of thing a bodyguard should know.  
  


He also happened to be her only friend who had kids. There were so many things she would need to do now, to get ready, and he was really the only person she knew who would have the experience to help her. Plus, he had triplets, so he was familiar with having several kids at once, which was sure to be a huge help down the road.  
  


She’d practiced different ways to say ‘I’m pregnant’ on the short walk to his and Nell’s house, none of them feeling right or making the situation feel real to her. She knew she was pregnant, she knew she was having twins, but knowing that and saying it didn’t make it feel like it was actually happening. Her thoughts kept wandering back and forth, veering wildly between emotions. There was something akin to happiness, blossoming slowly in her chest, brought forth by the image she had conjured of those two wide smiling faces...but it was at war with the fear and doubt, the endless questions and worst case scenarios and what-if’s that swirled in her mind. Who else did she need to tell? If something happened, would she even know about it before it was too late? What could she no longer do now, if she wanted things to progress smoothly? Was tree-striding bad for a baby? Was wild shape magic? She’d been a fish when she’d...well, when the Raven Queen had decided to step in. Was that going to have any effect on things? There were so many things she didn’t know, so many ways this could go wrong, that she could screw this up, that she probably  _ already _ screwed this up...  
  


When she finally got to Derrig’s place, any framework of a plan totally in ruins by the return of her anxiety, it wasn’t her bodyguard who answered the door, but Nell. Nell, hair slightly disheveled, with soft bags under her eyes and a warm, surprised smile. “Keyleth! Er, that is, Tempest, it is an honor! We weren’t expecting you, what can I do for…”  
  


The smile slipped from her face as she took in Keyleth, truly looked at her. The nervous, slightly hunched posture, her arms wrapped around her middle, almost protectively. Her eyes kept darting around and every time their eyes locked, she’d look away quickly, focusing on something else for a moment or two before her gaze shifted again. She looked...it was hard to read her. Something had made her nervous, that was clear, but whatever else she may have been feeling was well hidden. Normally, the Tempest wore her emotions for all to see, so for her to be attempting to keep her feeling guarded, and to actually have some measure of success…

“Keyleth, is everything alright?”  
  


Something in her expression broke a bit. She curled in on herself a little more, meeting Nell’s gaze and holding it, a strange mixture of joy and fear and sorrow in her eyes. Familiar, but not so familiar as for Nell to place the emotion immediately. Keyleth gives her a weak smile, shrugging. “I, uh...can I come in, Nell? I...I think I need to talk to somebody, and I think...you might understand? I don’t really know how to talk about this…”  
  


Suddenly, Nell could place that expression. She had worn it herself, twice before. It wasn’t quite the same, the sadness was certainly new, but she looked at Keyleth, and she understood.  
  


Her smile returned, soft and reassuring, and Nell held a hand out for Keyleth. “Of course. Come inside, I’ll make you something to drink, and we can talk. Derrig is with the kids in the back, but we can grab him too, if you’d like?”  
  


Slowly, she reached out and took the offered hand, the beginning of an unsure smile teasing the edge of her lips as she let Nell lead her inside. “I...yeah, I think I would. Thanks, Nell.”


	6. 5.

Derrig took the news with the sort of easy, seasoned calm that came from having children (at least, that’s where Keyleth assumed it came from). Throughout this whole experience, brief as it had been so far, he’d been the steady, level headed one, breaking her out of the cycle of nerves she kept finding herself in...so a small part of her had been expecting him to handle it better when, upon his entrance into the sitting room of the home he and Nell shared, she rapidly stood up, nearly knocking her beverage over, and blurting out “it’s twins”.  
  


The look on his face  _ was _ sort of funny, though. And for as momentarily humorous as it was, catching him off guard, the fact that he recovered quickly and masked his shock well was comforting, at least a little bit. Maybe that had to do with the fact he and Nell had triplets, she thought. Twins must seem like  _ nothing  _ in comparison to that.  
  


Nell, for her part, had given Derrig an easy smile and moved over on the couch, gesturing for him to sit next to her. “Have a seat, dear. Keyleth’s been filling me in on her situation.” He nodded and joined her, husband and wife both sitting across from Keyleth, who was clutching her mug tightly, taking small sips every so often to calm her waves of nerves as they came to her.  
  


“So...twins. How’d you figure that one out?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She blushed and shrugged a little, mumbling something about ‘twins running in the family’ and ‘she just had a feeling’ and ‘instinct’. She didn’t really feel like telling him about her confrontation with the Raven Queen, didn’t want to open that can of worms and everything that came with it. For his part, regardless of whether he believed her or not, he’d simply nodded and smiled, accepting her poor excuse for an explanation. “Okay, so, at least you won’t be blindsided by that when the time comes, so that’s a plus.”  
  


“It’s true, knowing ahead of time gives you more to plan with,” Nell added. “We didn’t know we were expecting two instead of one until about...six months, I think? And we didn’t realize it was actually three until they arrived.” She laughed a little. “Bit of a shock, but given how big I was, we really shouldn’t have been surprised.”  
  


“You weren’t  _ that _ big,” Derrig countered, smirking a little and wrapping an arm around his wife. “You could still get through the door, and I wasn’t forced out of bed until what, the last month and a half? Could have been much worse.” Nell snorted, twisting to swat playfully at Derrig, and as Keyleth watched the easy banter of husband and wife, her stomach twisted a bit. She took a larger gulp of water, trying to squash the rising jealousy at the knowledge that she and Vax would never have this. She’d never be teased by him about how big she was getting, she’d never kick him out of the bed or have playful back and forth with him about names, or supplies, or  _ anything _ . Even with her family and friends around her, she really was going at this alone.  
  


“I haven’t figured out how to tell the rest of my friends yet,” Keyeth said, bringing Derrig and Nell out of their little world and back into the present. “I...know that it’s probably still early, I’m not sure how far along everything is, and until...until things seem more settled, I want to keep it sort of quiet…”  
  


Nell nodded. “Understandable. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed for as long as you need them to be. But don’t let that stop you from coming by for anything, okay? We’ve--well,  _ I’ve  _ gone through this before, plus one baby, though I doubt that would make much difference.”  
  


“Hey, I helped!” Derrig protested.  
  


“Yes, dear, you did, but you also didn’t have to carry three babies for nine months, so hush.”  
  


Even with the jealous knot in her stomach, Keyleth couldn’t help but laugh at the way Derrig went quiet, crossing his arms and pretending to be put out. It was sweet, how he and Nell were together, how, even after decades of marriage and four children, they still bickered and flirted like they were just starting out together.  
  


She tried not to think about how things had been with her and Vax, when they finally got together. Tried not to linger on those what-ifs, the future that would never be, and instead focused on the future that was, one hand moving from her mug to rest on her stomach gently.  
  


“What should I be looking out for?” she asked. “You know...what foods to avoid, what stuff to not do, what spells I can and can’t use...I don’t want to mess this up and--”  
  


“And we’re your only friends who have children,” Nell concluded with a nod. “Well, I think we can certainly help with that! I made a list, during my pregnancy with the girls, of all the things that set my stomach off...let me go try to find it.” Nell gave Derrig a nod. “You remember the do’s and don’ts, I’m assuming?”  
  


He shrugged, giving her a lopsided smile. “I think I got this. Go find your list, Nellie.”  
  


She leaned down to kiss his cheek (gods, those little moments of affection just made Keyleth’s stomach hurt more) before heading out of the living room, leaving Derrig and Keyleth alone. For a minute, neither said anything, the room silent.  
  


“Keyleth...how did you find out you were having twins? Really.”  
  


She put the mug down and ran a hand through her hair. “I...may have gone and communed with the Raven Queen…”  
  


Derrig said nothing, staring at her with an unreadable expression that made her feel nervous. Guilty, like she’d done something wrong and had been caught red-handed.  
  


“I mean, what was I supposed to do? I died, Derrig, I’m not  _ supposed _ to be pregnant, they shouldn’t exist, and the fact that they do means that  _ She _ did something to twist fate, and I wanted answers, and I was just so  _ angry _ because fate or destiny or whatever was the reason She wouldn’t let us try to help Vax, but when it’s giving him a creepy present it’s okay?”  
  


“Woah, woah, slow down. Creepy present? Go back, Keyleth.” He held a hand up before gesturing for her to continue. “You went to commune with the Raven Queen, I got that part...what does that have to do with you knowing you’re having twins?”  
  


With a sigh, she went back to the beginning, telling him everything. Her visit to the Duskmeadow, communing with the Raven Queen, the argument she’d had with the goddess. The threads, Vax’s strong and glowing bright despite him being gone, and the two smaller threads She’d cut off of it.  
  


“She said they’re...a gift, or something. For his work as Her champion. She decided to ‘undo a twist of fate’,” she said, air quoting with a grimace, “and give him children he’ll never get to know. I don’t think he knows what She did...if he’s capable of knowing anymore...but he’d hate it either way, not being there for them. I got angry again, She kicked me out of wherever we were...and when I got back I realized that She’d cut off two threads, so--”  
  


“Twins,” Derrig concluded with a nod.   
  


“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” she continued. “I don’t know if it’s a thing, for twins to be more likely to have twins, but leave it to the Raven Queen to make the situation even more complicated, right?”  
  


“Mmm. Who else have you told? Have you been back to the healer yet?”  
  


She shook her head. “Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”  
  


Derrig blinked in surprise, before smiling warmly at Keyleth, going a little pink. “Why, Tempest, I’m flattered! Though it makes sense. As your bodyguard, I should be aware of these things, so I may guard you better.” His tone was teasing, though he had a point, and it was a point the council would raise as soon as they learned of her condition, and she knew it. Knew it and hated it. A sharp look at Derrig ended that train of thought, at least for now. “Though, really, I am flattered, Keyleth. Thank you.”  
  


“You’re my friend, Derrig, first and foremost. Besides, you figured it out before I did,” she shrugged. “You deserved to know first.”  
  


“Who else are you telling?”  
  


And wasn’t that the big question. She had tried to think about it more, on the way to Derrig and Nell’s, between coming up with different ways to tell people about the babies, and she still wasn’t sure. Or rather, she was sure about most of the people she needed to tell...it was a matter of wanting to, though.  
  


“My father,” she said after a moment, staring into her mug. “The healer. The council, eventually, because they’ll find out one way or another and maybe if I tell them before I show, I can try to control the situation…”  
  


“But not Vox Machina.”  
  


Keyleth sighed. “I...I don’t know, Derrig. I don’t know how to tell them, I don’t know if I should...I mean, it’s early. I...what if something goes wrong? I can’t get them all excited, get their hopes up about them only to have to destroy that...it’d be like losing Vax again.” If things were certain...if she’d found out later, or knew for sure that things would be okay, maybe the situation would be different. Maybe she would have gone to Whitestone first, instead of demanding answers in the Duskmeadow. Maybe she and Vex would have had a good cry and a hug, and then celebrated together. “When...when did you and Nell tell people? I want to tell them, but...not yet.”  
  


“I wanted to wait a bit,” Nell’s voice carried from the hall as she reentered the room, a small pile of papers in hand. “Especially with the girls, since it was all so new. But Derrig got excited, as soon as things were certain, and told his family pretty much immediately.” She sat next to her husband and took his hand, running her thumb along his knuckle gently. The jealous knot in Keyleth’s stomach returned.  
  


“I was mad at him at first,” Nell continued. “I was worried about the same things I think you are. What if something went wrong, what if we lost the baby, what if something happened to me...for the first few months, I spent a lot of time worrying about if I was doing things right. And you know what?” She smiled. “It didn’t do me any good. I don’t know for sure if the worrying made the morning sickness worse or not, but it probably didn’t help. Having people I loved knowing, though? Having them to talk to and to support both of us, even when things were early and fragine? That did help.”  
  


She held the stack of papers out to Keyleth. At the top was a list, divided into two columns, well worn and clearly edited and added to multiple times.  
  


“What the baby likes”, it said on one side, with the other side being a list of the things the baby didn’t like. Some items were on both lists, while others were crossed out on one side and moved to another. Keyleth looked at it, blinking a few times, fighting off the tears that threatened to fall.  
  


“I said I’d get you a list of the things that set me off, when I was having the girls,” Nell said softly, letting Derrig’s hand go as she leaned forward to grip Keyleth’s. “I kept that updated for the entire pregnancy. I didn’t know if it would help me to know these things or not, since my cravings didn’t make any sense. No consistency from one day to the next! But writing it down...it made me feel a little better, like I had some control. And then after we had three beautiful little girls, I saved it. It felt right to, I guess.” She laughed a little. “It seems silly, but maybe it was a way to remind me of how silly all those worries of mine were, or maybe it was a way to remind myself I could take control, even when it didn’t seem like I could. I did the same thing when we were having Will, even though I don’t think I needed it at that point. And now, I’d like you to have it. Maybe it’ll help you, too.”  
  


No amount of blinking could stop the tears that came, but in spite of them, Keyleth felt better. Lighter, somehow, like maybe all of her fears, regardless of how justified they might have been, wouldn’t consume her and her children. Like even if she didn’t tell Vox Machina immediately, she wasn’t going at it alone.  
  


She wondered if this is what it would have felt like to tell her mother about having children. She wondered what she would have said.  
  


With a sniffle and a wet smile, Keyleth leaned in to give Nell a quick, awkward hug, holding the papers close to her chest.  
  


“There’s some other things in there that might help,” Nell said as they pulled apart. “You tell who you want, that’s your choice, but if you need anything--”  
  


“--You come to us,” Derrig finished. “We’re sort of experts at this point.”  
  


She laughed again, very glad that she told Derrig first. She knew it was the right choice. And as she left Derrig and Nell’s, still apprehensive and unsure of how or when to tell her friends, still full of questions and concerns that didn’t have easy answers, she felt...a bit more in control. Or at least like she could she pretend she was in control, for a little bit.   
  


Telling her father would be simultaneously easier and more difficult, more personal. And maybe it wasn’t the only thing she needed to talk to him about.  
  


They’d reached some sort of comfort in their living situation, since she unofficially moved back in with him, though she knew neither of them was truly happy with it. Neither of them had really been expecting her to come and live with him again, once she had taken her place as the Voice of the Tempest and settled into her own place in Zephra...but then, neither of them had expected to lose Vax so soon. Being back in her childhood room with her father just across the hall if she had a nightmare...it had been comforting to have that, even if he couldn’t chase away the monsters under her bed anymore.  
  


If this was really happening, and even now she still couldn’t fully believe that it was, then she couldn’t go on living with her father as they had before she’d left home years ago. The house felt small enough with only the two of them in it, and adding in children...she needed to reclaim her space. Needed to finally go home, put away Vax’s things, and move on.   
  


Well, move on wasn’t quite the right term. Even years and decades from now, Keyleth knew she’d never fully move on, never fully be over Vax, even as the pain lessened and the grief faded to a dull background ache in her mind. It had been a long time since her mother had left them, and though he wore his grief well, like an old, worn-in coat, she knew her father, for as content in his life as Korrin was, had never truly moved on from Vilya. But he’d done his best to be strong, to be a good father to her, and she needed to do the same for her children. His grief had never defined her life, and her’s would not define her children’s.  
  


Her father was already home when she got in, settled into their sitting area with a book that had captured his full attention. He didn’t look up at the sound of her entrance, merely nodded and called her name from the other room. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, before joining him, sitting next to him with only a small space between them.

“Hey, Dad…? There’s something that I need to talk to you about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be something a little different: A Korrin interlude. I don't plan on showing the exact conversation between Keyleth and her father (as it feels like it would be a lot of the same stuff happening when she tells Derrig and Nell), but I do want to look at his thoughts on this whole situation.
> 
> Now, I just need to actually, you know, write it.


	7. Interlude: Korrin

Grief was a strange thing. It wasn’t straightforward or logical, it didn’t age like a fine wine or fester like an open wound. It wasn’t easily classified into stages, and there really were no words to describe it. If Korrin were to try, he would think for a moment, face serious, before saying, “it is a trial without end.” Because for Korrin, there was no end to his loss.

It was hard enough to lose a loved one. It was harder still to lose them with no answers, no conclusion, no way to know for sure what happened. He had had an ill feeling, when Vilya left for her Aramenté, but he’d said nothing. They needed a leader, the only other candidate besides Vilya was their daughter, who was far too young for that to really be an option. And Vilya...Vilya was ready. If anyone could handle the trials of leadership, bear the mantle of the Voice of the Tempest, it was her. So he had swallowed the feelings of gloom that had been gathering in his thoughts as she had been preparing to leave, kissed her goodbye, and smiled and waved with the rest of the tribe as she and her party departed.

He remembered that day just as clearly as he remembered the day it became obvious that Vilya was never coming home.

There had been no word from her in some time. That hadn’t been worrying at first, given how spaced out the other tribes were and the relatively secretive nature of the Aramenté. She had sent letters from the road when she could, talking about her companions and what she had seen with the other tribes (without too much detail, which was concerning, but he pushed it aside). She had seemed optimistic, convinced that she would be done and home soon, asking about how things were, how Keyleth was doing...everything had sounded fine in her last letter. She was leaving Pyrah, and was hoping to be home within the year, though even she admitted that was probably a bit of a stretch.

_I cannot wait to see you again, my heart. I cannot wait to hold you and Keyleth in my arms and tell you about all of the things I’ve seen._

But she never did.

The days stretched out into weeks, into months, and it became obvious to everyone that something had gone wrong. He had wanted to deny it, because there were times when Vilya seemed invincible. She had always been the strong one, the one who wore a brave face and held them together when they had met with disappointment after disappointment before Keyleth arrived. She always saw the positive, the possibilities for good, always looked for a solution in situations that seemed to have none.

She couldn’t just be gone, with no answer or reason.

There were so many things they never got to do. So many things they would never share, and he would never know why she couldn’t come home, only guess and assume and wonder.

It was a trial without end, but he kept on living. He found reasons to go forward and forge ahead, took strength and pride in the accomplishments of his remarkable daughter, gained hope through her growth. Korrin had always seen much of himself in Keyleth, and not always his best qualities, either. She was kind, and so, _so_ smart, but he saw how she struggled with people, how her emotions led her astray, how she felt unworthy of the position she was being offered.

He had felt so unworthy of Vilya. He still was, in his mind.

It had taken him years to master his emotions, to not let his fears rule him, even when they came true. He knew Keyleth would, knew that she would have nothing but time when she became the Voice of the Tempest.

He had just hoped that they would not share the same long, unending trial so soon.

Korrin hadn’t been sure what to make of Vax’ildan, when he first met the man who had stolen his daughter’s heart. From a purely logical standpoint, he knew that they had been travelling companions and knew each other well, knew that he was a capable fighter who kept up with Keyleth and seemed to compliment her personality well. It had just been hard, to watch his daughter fall in love, to watch her grow up. It had taken some time, but he did come to like Vax’ildan (Vax, he always insisted that Korrin call him that, everyone else did). He was compassionate and kind, he had an easy friendly nature that eased some of Keyleth’s worries, and he supported her. He was...he was her Vilya.

Korrin had had that same uneasy feeling, when they left for a trip with their friends to the Bay of Gifts, but he had swallowed it down and smiled, hugging his daughter and waving goodbye to her and her love as they stepped through a tree and out of sight. She had survived where Vilya had fallen, after all. What did he have to worry about?

Keyleth didn’t tell him the specifics, when she eventually returned home, alone after another world-shaking crisis. She hadn’t needed to. It only took one look for him to know what had happened.

History liked to repeat itself, it seemed.

He had to give her credit; she did try to pick her life up where it had left off, going back to her and Vax’ildan’s home before she moved back in with him. She continued to do her duties as the Tempest, even though he could tell that she struggled with managing her responsibilities and her grief. She put on a brave face, but he was her father. He had been in her position once, and he could tell that she was fraying at the edges. He just wished he could help. But grief...grief was a trial without end. It was not a trial one had to bear on their own, but he couldn’t help her if she didn’t want him to, and even after all this time, it seemed like they still struggled to talk about what mattered most.

So in a way, it was a surprise when Keyleth returned home one day, some months after she’d lost her love, and told him some truly unexpected news.

It seemed that he was going to be a grandfather.

The story that she told him didn’t make much sense, but given the direction her life had taken, Korrin wasn’t entirely surprised to learn that divine intervention had played a role in what was, literally, a miracle. And her emotions, the way she held herself as she told him, gripping the edge of the chair tightly, like she was afraid of what he’d say...that didn’t make sense to him either. But he’d never been in her situation, so who was he to say what did and didn’t apply here?

He thought of many things, as his daughter told him her news. He thought of Vilya, and all the times they had tried to start a family. All the hopes, the excitement, the dashed expectations. He thought of when she told him she was pregnant again, the hesitance and nervous hope in her voice...she’d gripped the edge of the chair in the same way that Keyleth did. He remembered how things had progressed, how the worries and problems of their past attempts never materialized, how the nervous hope was replaced by excitement, the joy that he felt when Keyleth finally, _finally_ arrived.

He thought of how Vilya would have been just as happy to hear about their grandchildren. He wondered what kind of grandmother she would have been.

He thought of Vax’ildan, who had taught basic knife skills to some of the children in Zephra, who had always found a way to make them laugh with a trick or that belt of his. How much he had loved Keyleth, the way he looked at her like she’d hung the moons in the sky. How the gods, even in their kindest moments, could be cruel, to take him and deny him this, when he would have been a wonderful father.

He thought of the child (children, Keyleth had said they were twins), and wondered how much of their lives would mirror that of their mother. If they would grow up in the shadow of a lost parent, if they would even realize what they had lost. How many times would this cycle repeat itself, love being lost early, children left behind…

There were reasons he didn’t hold much stock in the gods.

But beyond the what could have beens, the what should have beens, the ifs and possibilities, there was one thought that rose above all others:

“Keyleth, are you happy?”

It was a loaded question, without a straight answer. Grief, he knew, was a trial. So was parenthood, especially when you went at it alone. But not all trials lasted forever. Some would have an end, a light in the distance that made it clear that the dark times wouldn’t consume them. For Korrin, his light had been Keyleth. It still was. He saw himself in her, yes, but more and more often, he saw Vilya, the bright and vivacious woman she’d been, all the possibilities she’d held. And he saw Keyleth, herself, out of the shadow of his grief and her mother’s ghost. The Voice of the Tempest, proud and strong and capable of surviving so much in such a short time.

Keyleth looked at him, frowning a bit as if thinking, before shrugging and giving him a small smile. It was tired but genuine, the first real glimpse of happiness he’d seen on her in a long time.

“You know, Dad...I’m not sure. Sometimes I think I could just stay in bed forever, you know? And then other times...it’s all over the place. But, you know what?”

Her smile grew a little bit.

“I think I might be getting there. Just a little.”

He nodded, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. It was enough for now. Her trial would end someday, and he would be there to guide her through it until it did.


	8. 6.

The house was exactly as she’d left it when she’d returned home from defeating Vecna. It was exactly as they’d left it when they’d departed for the Bay of Gifts, expecting that they’d both come home from their little vacation in one piece. Vax’s extra daggers were still set out, along with his sharpening tools, near the alchemy supplies she kept at home. His spare boots, the ones that he and Vex weren’t constantly fighting over, were still by the door. She knew that, if she went into their bedroom, the bed would still be unmade, the sheets still rumpled and left in a heap. Save for the dust that she’d kicked up upon entering their home, everything was as it had been.

Keyleth took a deep breath, looking around the entrance of what had, for a beautiful short year, been home. It was strange...nothing was different, nothing had technically changed as far as what was in the house, but it felt different. It didn’t feel like home anymore. She knew why that was, of course, but if she dwelled on it too much, she knew that the resolve she had would break once again, and she was going to, whether she liked it or not, try to move forward.

Vax would want her to. And more than that,  _ she _ wanted to.

She let out the breath she’d been holding, long and slow, as she stepped fully into what had once been home. What would be home once again, if she let it be. Keyleth glanced down to the boots by the door, ones that Vax had kept around for whenever it was ‘Stubby’s turn with the Boots of Haste, and she’d better remember to give them back’, as he’d say. The thought of the arguing the twins had over those damned boots, the back and forth over the years about who got them when, each stealing them from the other...how, in a way, Vax had gotten the last laugh. He’d been wearing the boots when the Raven Queen came for him, when he’d walked away from them all into the darkness without a fight, looking so peaceful, surrounded by snowdrops and feathers…

She blinked, raising a hand to her cheek, swearing softly to herself as she felt tears running down her face.

“Dammit, Keyleth, you said you wouldn’t do this,” she muttered to herself, picking up the boots and dusting them off, ignoring the stinging in her eyes that she was determined to blame on the dust. “Crying isn’t going to do any good anymore. It’s just stuff...without him, it doesn’t have any meaning.”

It was true. These were just things, without Vax, and even with him, they weren’t the most important things he had. These were just his spare boots, his extra daggers, other supplies and things he’d picked up and discarded and left behind throughout their adventures together. Leaving them where they were wouldn’t bring him back, wouldn’t make them special or important...it would just clutter up the house, make it difficult for her to live her life, for her to raise her children away from the shadow of their father.

She put the boots on the table, near his extra daggers, as she opened a window, the breeze stirring more dust up into the air. She coughed, shaking her head, before turning back to the task at hand, leaving to grab a box or a basket or something to put these things in while she figured out what to do with them.

When Keyleth came back, there was a large raven sitting on her kitchen table, on top of the pair of extra boots.

Since Vax’s death, there had been an increase in the number of ravens in the skies around Zephra. The first one that she’d noticed personally had been soon after she’d returned, during her first days of trying to navigate this new life she found herself in. It had been a large bird, with uncomfortably familiar bright eyes, and seeing it had broken through the walls she’d been trying desperately to build up since coming home. That specific bird, she hadn’t seen since then, though there were other ravens and crows in the area, darkening the skies and making nests as they seemed to settle in and claim Zephra as their home.

This bird, sitting on top of the boots, cocking its head at her as she reentered the room, was an uncommonly large raven, with bright, intelligent, familiar grey eyes. The same bird that she’d seen when she first came home.

They stared at each other for a moment, bird and woman, before Keyleth sighed, a sad smile on the edge of her lips. Of course. He said he’d never be far, that he wouldn’t be truly gone. Shaking her head, she held an arm out for him.

“Hey, Vax.”

The bird--Vax--cawed softly, dipping his head momentarily before hopping up onto her arm, moving to her shoulder and nuzzling against her cheek. In spite of herself, she smiled, moving to scratch his chin, his inky feather soft under her finger. They felt like his hair, she thought, how it was silky and smooth when it ran through her fingers as they lay in bed together. Or maybe she was just imagining that they felt that way. With the twists her life had taken as of late, who knew what was real and what was just in her head.

“I’ve missed you,” she said, continuing to stroke his feathers gently, moving from his chin to the top of his head. “I...when you visited that first time, I knew right away it was you, and it was too much, but then you didn’t come back, and there were all these other birds...did you send them?” He cawed, nodding his head once. “I figured. I...people were a little freaked out at first, you know?” Her voice dropped conspiratorially, whispering to the raven on her shoulder. “I don’t know if you know, but a lot of people consider ravens bad omens.”

Vax puffed up his chest and let out a loud cry, and for a moment it sounded so much like his laugh that if she closed her eyes, she could pretend…

She sniffled, Vax nuzzling against her cheek again. Comforting her. She wondered if she’d started to cry once more. “Sorry, sorry...I just...I’ve had a lot to deal with lately, and you being here, like this...I miss you, Vax. I miss you a lot, and I keep trying to push through the worst parts of this, and even the good days aren’t great, and…” She let out a shuddering breath. “I don't know, it's just been hard. I’m really glad to see you, even...even like this.”

He hopped off her shoulder, back onto the table, taking one of the daggers lying there into his beak. He almost seemed to frown, tilting his head back and forth, like he was sizing the item up, figuring out its weight, adjusting his hold on the thing...and then, lightning fast and so, so familiar, the dagger flew across the room, landing in the wall with a ‘thwang’ sound. He quickly grabbed the other daggers and threw them as well, each landing next to the first one. Turning back to her, Vax puffed up his chest again and strutted around the table, letting out another loud crow, another laugh. And in spite of the aching in her chest, she couldn’t help but laugh along with him.

"Dagger dagger dagger," she said with a soft chuckle, Vax nodding, looking very smug and pleased with himself that he made her laugh. It was a start, at least.

“You know, you’re going to have to get those out of the wall now,” she continued, laughing at the indignant caw Vax made. “Hey, you threw them, not me!” He just squawked louder, shaking his head, and as strange as it was to be having a one-sided conversation with a bird, it felt good. It felt right. But talking with Vax had always felt right. That hadn’t changed, in spite of everything. “So...if you haven’t been in Zephra...have you been keeping an eye on the others? Vex?”

Vax nodded, cawing softly, and gods, it sounded so much like his voice, even without words…

“And...and I assume  _ She’s _ probably keeping you busy?” Another nod, another insistent caw. She wondered if the Raven Queen had told Vax about Her little present to him, if she should tell him now. He deserved to know, regardless of what form he took, but…what good would it do, him knowing? He’d never really get a chance to  _ be  _ there, not in any way that he’d think would matter. Telling him they were having a baby, that they were having twins, knowing that he’d only ever know them like this, knowing he’d never really get to be there for them...maybe it was better that he didn’t know. At least for now. Still, it didn’t sit right with her, not telling him, not knowing if he was in the dark or not about this. She was learning there were no easy answers with her situation, no real wins for anyone, except maybe the Raven Queen (which was another train of thought she did  _ not _ want to go down).

“Well…,” she said with a sigh, deciding to leave that particular conversation for another day, “I was going to clean the house up. It’s...I’ve been living with Dad, since coming back, did you know that?” Vax cocked his head, expression unreadable. “It just...felt weird, coming back here, without you. It wasn’t home anymore. It still isn’t, really…” She rubbed angrily at her eyes, not wanting the damned tears to come back once more, not wanting to cry more for him, for them, than she already had. “Dammit, Vax, it’s not...it’s not  _ fair _ ! What right does She have to take you, to...to do  _ this _ to you? She could just...just let you come home, She gets all of us in the end anyway, so why...why would you come back like this?” She let out a choked, angry sob, wrapping her arms around her, nails digging into her skin. “What gives Her the right...Gods, I thought I was getting past this, but...fuck…”

Vax’s soft, heartbreaking coo did little to cut through her pain, her anger, as she curled up into herself more, closing her eyes. She loved him, she would always love him, but the way he was right now, she couldn’t even look at him, it was like a cruel joke...they’d just been laughing together, he’d tossed his stupid daggers into the wall, same as he always did, and for a brief moment she’d been able to  _ forget _ …

She felt feathers brush against her cheek, a beak nuzzling against her face. She could almost hear his voice.

_ “I never wanted to hurt you, Kiki. That was the last thing I intended, when I made my deal with Her…” _

“I know, but I  _ told you _ , I knew this would happen, it just...happened sooner than I was ready for.”

_ “You’re the strongest person I know. You bear the weight of your mantle so well, you're already the wonderful leader I knew you would be. I am so,  _ so  _ proud of you. I knew you were ready.” _

“I just wish you were here. Really here.”

_ “...so do I. I’m sorry.” _

There was silence in the room. Maybe there had always been silence, maybe she’d finally lost it, hearing his voice in her lead like they were actually talking to each other again. If it wasn’t for the feeling of feathers on her face, she could have imagined the whole thing. Maybe she had. 

_ “I will never be far, Keyleth. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this, coming here, but I couldn’t...I wanted to see you again. I love you, I’ll  _ always _ love you, no matter how far I am or what form I may take. I was so lucky to have you...to have you all. You can make this place your home again, I know it. It’s just stuff, yeah? You don’t need it to be happy, and if it’s not making you happy, get rid of it. _

_ ….You should go see them. I think they miss you, that you all miss each other. You could give Vex the boots, mess with her a bit for me? Just think about it. _ ”

She sniffled, the corners of her mouth quirking upward a bit. “You’re such an ass. It’s a good thing I love you so much.”

There was no response. She didn’t know why she was expecting one, when she was essentially talking to herself. She felt nothing, and as she hesitantly opened her eyes, she saw the room was exactly as it was. The boots were on the table, the window was open, and the raven...Vax...was gone again.

Keyleth blinked and let out a shuddery breath as she stood up. “It’s just stuff,” she repeated, moving to pick the boots up again. It was then that she noticed things were not exactly as she’d left them. There was a feather, inky black and perfect, on the windowsill, pitch against the wood, but as she picked it up, running her fingers along the so-soft edges, it caught the light, the iridescent rainbows and flashes of color shining through. She smiled to herself, still stroking the edge (still running her fingers through his hair), before she looked to the wall.

There were three distinct marks, where daggers had been thrown, fresh ones. But the daggers were gone.

Keyleth shook her head, still smiling to herself, the aching in her chest that never seemed to fully go away ebbing back a bit more. “Well...you helped clean up, I guess. Thanks, Vax.” Putting the feather down on the table, she picked up the boots one last time, tossing them into the box she’d brought in, and fully got into the work of making her home hers once more. She tossed out old alchemy supplies, put away the vials and beakers she’d left out, made the bed, dusted. Anything of Vax’s that might be of use one day, she put into the closet, storing it for when their children would ask about their father and what kind of man he’d been. Everything else, she’d give away or throw out. Even if it hurt a bit, it had to be done.

It didn’t feel like home again, not yet. But it felt like a fresh start, and as the space opened up once more, a picture began to form in Keyleth’s mind of where new things could go. A new alchemy kit here, a set of cribs there, a place to store the feathers, maybe a bird feeder by the window for Zephra’s newest residents. It was still a place of grief, yes, but also of possibilities, of a future where she wouldn’t have this aching heart weighing her down as much.

When Keyleth smiled, inspecting her work, it was a genuine one, not tainted with pain or sorrow or anger. Just pride.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I can work with this.”

Feeling more confident than she had since Vecna, since finding out she was pregnant, Keyleth took the box containing the boots and headed out towards the woods, towards the trees. It was time she paid a visit to Whitestone. It was time she talked to her family again.

She had some news she wanted to tell them.


	9. 7.

It was strange, being back in Whitestone. Keyleth had expected the city to look...different, somehow. Changed. It had only been a few months, and she knew that Whitestone managed to avoid being devastated by Vecna, so it really  _ shouldn’t _ look too different, but to stand by the Sun Tree and see life progressing as it always had felt strange. Not bad, necessarily, but strange. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she knew Percy had plans for his home, plans to bring it into the future and make it a beacon of progress, to make it protected and safe, so that the troubles that once befell Whitestone would never touch it again. A city on the rise, he’d said once, his eyes alight with visions of what his home could be.

“Progress takes time, I guess,” she said to herself, leaning against the trunk of her old friend, watching the world pass her by. A small group of ravens flew overhead, heading out of the city and into the outskirts, near the cemetary, and the sight of the familiar birds made her chuckle a little. The dull ache in her chest at the reminder of what they’d all lost didn't hurt nearly as much as it normally did. “I guess he’s keeping an eye on Vex, too...that makes sense, he said he was. Wonder if he’s actually visited her or if he’s just sending the birds.” She’d have to ask her, she decided. Maybe not during this trip, not when this was already going to be a difficult visit.

She frowned a bit. How exactly  _ was _ she going to tell Vex about her pregnancy? No matter how she framed it, it was always going to come off as bittersweet at best, and she had no idea how Vex had been dealing with her own grief over the loss of Vax. Keyleth hoped that, because she had Percy and Trinket and all of Whitestone behind her, Vex was doing better than her, but though they’d lost the same person, their grief was completely different. Vax had been her lover, yes, and one of her closest friends, but he’d been Vex’s  _ twin _ . The other half of her soul. They’d never lived a day without each other, never gone where the other couldn’t follow...and Vax had made his deal with the Raven Queen for her, had only become Her paladin to save his sister’s life.

No, there was no comparing their situations, their grief. Vex may have had a wider support circle, but she’d lost so much more than Keyleth could possibly understand.

Without thinking, her hand went to rest on her stomach. “I just wish I knew if telling her is the right thing to do,” she said softly, glancing down. “What if this makes it worse? What if she’s… I don’t know...angry, or jealous, or something?”

She needed to tell somebody else, before she told Vex and Percy, she decided. She’d already talked to her father, and to Derrig, and she didn’t want to talk to the rest of Vox Machina until after she told Vex. But she needed to tell  _ somebody _ ! As practice, as a warmup to make this easier, or something!

The idea hit her out of nowhere, and in retrospect, it seemed so obvious, so foolish for her to have missed, that it made her laugh. With a wide grin, Keyleth put her palm against the Sun Tree, casting the spell the same way she’d done dozens of times before.

“Hey, Sun Tree.”

_ “Heeey, Keyleth! Long time no see, how ya doin’?”  _ It had been a while since she’d heard the familiar, comforting tones of her favorite tree, and if she didn’t know better, she’d have thought he sounded pleasantly surprised. Or at least as close to pleasantly surprised as a very old tree could sound, anyway. 

“I’m not doing too bad. Sorry I haven’t come to visit in a while...things have been sort of busy, I guess,” she said apologetically. She hadn’t been to Whitestone since before Panemoneum, and even before that, she hadn’t really talked to the tree in a while. Saving the world was as good a distraction as any, she supposed, but the Sun Tree was her friend, and she still felt bad. “You look good, though!”

_ “Aw, thanks, Keyleth! I’d say the same about you but I can’t really see!” _

She chuckled, giving the tree a pat on its trunk. “I know, but I appreciate the thought. It’s good to see you, Sun Tree. How’s Whitestone doing?”

_ “Whitestone is doing a-okay! Lots of people taking root here now, lots of things taking seed and sprouting, lots of little changes...life is good, Keyleth. Life is real good.” _

It all sounded positive, at least. The Sun Tree may not be able to see in the traditional sense, but its roots ran deep, as did its connections to Whitestone. If the Sun Tree said things were good, then it was true. 

_ “Hey, how’s that lil sprout of mine doing?” _

Keyleth blinked, trying to remember what exactly the tree was referring to, before she remembered the little twig she’d taken before returning to Zephra after Pandemonium. A cutting from the Sun Tree, to grow and thrive among her people in her home, planted with one of Vax’s feathers. A living memorial and a connection to Whitestone in one small branch. She smiled and patted the Sun Tree’s trunk again. In a way, it was like the Sun Tree’s kid. No wonder they were curious about how it was doing. “It’s doing really well so far! Still small, but I planted it in a spot with plenty of light, and I’m making sure not to give it too much water...I’ll let it know you said hi, okay?”

_ “That’d be real cool, Keyleth. Thanks, girl,” _ the tree responded, a hint of gratitude in its chill voice. She was glad the Sun Tree had asked about the sapling, because it gave her the perfect segway. Keyleth’s smile turned a little nervous. Even though this was the Sun Tree, one of the most easy-going beings she had the pleasure of knowing, even though as far as telling people, this was the most low stakes choice for her to go with, it still set her on edge a bit. But it wasn’t going to get easier if she put it off.

She dropped her voice to a low, almost conspiratorial whisper. “Hey, Sun Tree?”

_ “Yeah, Keyleth?” _

“Guess what?”

_ “What? _ ”

“I’m having a little sprout, too.”

The tree went quiet for a moment, processing the information.  _ “Oh, man, Keyleth! That’s real cool, congratulations! You’re gonna do great.” _

She let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, all the tension and nerves melting away from her figure, leaving her grinning and leaning against the tree. “Thanks, Sun Tree.”

There wasn’t much more to say after that. They exchanged some minor pleasantries for a bit longer, until Keyleth started to feel her Speak with Plants spell fading. With a promise to say hello before she left and a mental fistbump, she said her goodbyes to the Sun Tree and made her way into Whitestone proper.

Yes, she knew the Sun Tree was technically in the center of town, and therefore in Whitestone proper, but it never really felt like that. The tree was its own little oasis, an island in a sea of people and buildings, where the rest of the world seemed to fall away and not matter quite so much...at least, it always seemed like that to Keyleth. Maybe that was just how she justified to herself standing in the middle of the town square, holding a conversation with a tree. But the people of Whitestone paid her no mind as she talked to their sacred tree, just going about their business. If they thought it was weird, they didn’t say anything, for which she was grateful.

There weren’t many familiar faces as she passed through the center of town on her way up to the castle, but that wasn’t a surprise to her. It had been months since she’d been back here, and even before then, she hadn’t really paid too much attention to the comings and goings of most of Whitestone, having been preoccupied by dragons and would be gods and the like. People seemed to be doing well, though, going about their business and lives, their own problems and worries weighing on them, their own joys and pleasures keeping them afloat in their darker times. Some of them nodded or gave her a small wave as she passed by, a spark of recognition or a look of gratitude or awe, but most of them paid her no mind. Even as one of the heroes of Whitestone, there was a sense of anonymity here, so unlike Zephra. It was nice. 

Though, she doubted Percy and Vex had that same experience when they went into Whitestone.

The closer she got to the castle, the further away her thoughts went, her mind turning away from the lord and lady of Whitestone to the rest of their friends. She’d already decided to tell Vox Machina later into her pregnancy, wanting things to be a bit more sure, but she hadn’t thought too much about how she’d tell them, or what they’d say. Percy and Vex’s reactions had taken up most of her thoughts and worries, and though she was ashamed to admit it, she’d forgotten for a bit that she had to tell their other friends.

Would they be pleased? Would they be worried? Would they believe her when she said they were Vax’s children? It wasn’t like she was the first one of them to have a surprise child, Scanlan had beat them all to that mark long ago. Given his history and his relationship with Kaylie, Keyleth wondered what he’d think of all of this. Would he joke about composing her children a song, or would he be more somber, thinking of another child who grew up without a father? Would Pike look after her, make sure everything was as it should be? What would Grog do with a baby? Would she even be able to reach Taryon to tell him, or would he be too busy with his brigade?

She tried to picture her friends and her children together, and as much as she wanted to see a loving image of a happy family...all she could see was sadness. No matter how well they all masked it, this news would only tear open still healing wounds. It wouldn’t bring any joy, not for a long time.

It was a good thing she’d decided to wait to tell them, then, she thought as she nodded at the rifleman positioned at the gates of the castle. Maybe when she did, enough time would have passed to make the news something to celebrate.

“Keyleth!!”

She was drawn out of her thoughts by a familiar voice, though not the once she was expecting to hear. She was surprised to see Pike coming out to meet her, a confused smile on the gnome’s face. Keyleth blinked, before smiling back, just as bewildered. What was Pike doing here? Was she here in a cleric capacity, or just visiting? Did she come by herself? Oh, gods, were Grog and Scanlan with her? Was she going to have to tell everyone all at once? She hadn’t planned for this scenario, she’d just figured out exactly  _ why _ she wasn’t telling all of Vox Machina immediately! But before she had a chance to really react, Pike was in front of her, the confusion in her face replaced by a genuine smile as she gave Keyleth a quick hug, which she returned with only a moment’s hesitation.

“Hey, Pike…!” she said, swallowing the nerves that had suddenly blossomed in her gut. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Vasselheim!”

“I am! Well, not right now,” she laughed, grinning at Keyleth as they went inside. “I’m taking a little time off, doing some travelling...Grog’s with me, actually. Well, not right now, he’s in town at the tavern with Scanlan, they’ll probably be back up later.”

Oh, gods, they really were all here. At least Tary wasn’t here, she thought. She wondered how fake her smile was, if Pike could tell how anxious she felt. Probably, but she probably wouldn’t say anything either. That was just how Pike was.

“Oh, that’s great!” Keyleth said, still smiling too wide to be natural. “I didn’t know you guys were travelling, I thought Scanlan would be with Kaylie?”

“Well, this was more of a coincidence than anything,” Pike continued. “I think Scanlan popped by for his own business, we just all ran into each other. Grog may head out with him? We haven’t really planned anything.” She laughed again, though it was less bright, less joyful. “It’s so different from how things used to be. I’m trying to make up for all the time I missed with you guys, but…” Keyleth just nodded silently. Pike and Vax had been close, and Pike had always been called away by Sarenrae. That had to add another layer to the grief they were all feeling, mourning for all the opportunities that were missed by making one choice over another. 

“Is that why you’re here?” she asked, wringing her hands together. They were headed towards the library, she realized. She wondered what Percy and Vex were up to in there. Maybe they were just reading together. Maybe they didn’t know where to meet visitors when the world wasn’t ending.

Pike shrugged. “Partially, yeah. I wanted to check up on a few things, and Vex wanted me to ch--,” she blinked, cutting herself off with a small smile. “Sorry, I’m not supposed to say anything.”

Well,  _ that  _ wasn’t ominous or anything.

They walked on in relative silence after that, Keyleth too busy rehearsing what she was going to say in her head to really be invested in any conversation that Pike tried to spark up between them, shutting everything down with noncommittal answers or noises of agreement. Pike glanced at her a few times, as if to ask if something was wrong, but she said nothing. Once they’d reached the library, Pike held a hand up to hold her back as she got the door. “I’m sure they saw you coming,” she said, “but I’m gonna let them know you’re here.” It was a little strange, but Keyleth nodded. Vex and Percy  _ were _ nobility. Maybe they were actually acting like it, for once. Pike gave her another smile and slipped into the room, Keyleth immediately leaning at the door to try and hear what was going on. There was some quiet conversation, she thought she was able to make out Percy’s voice...or maybe it was Cassandra, they did sound fairly similar, and she hadn’t seen her here yet, so it would make sense if she was with her brother…

“Well, don’t leave her standing there!” Vex’s voice, loud and determined, cut through all the other muffled sounds, getting louder as she got closer. “It’s  _ Keyleth _ .” The door suddenly swung open, and she stumbled, falling forward into a pair of familiar, waiting arms.

Vex laughed, pulling her in closer for a hug. “Hello, Keyleth, darling. It’s been too long.”

For a moment, in the familiar embrace of her chosen sister, all of the nerves fell away. This was right. No matter what happened in the short term, telling Vex was the right thing to do, and this was going to be okay.

And then she pulled away. And she saw the slight curve of Vex’s middle, the bright anticipation in her eyes, the way she seemed to almost glow.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Vex shrugged her shoulders a bit, her smile nervous and hopeful, as if she was afraid of how Keyleth would react. “Surprise…! I would have sent a letter, but I thought this was something best shared in person. Your timing for a surprise visit couldn’t have been more perfect, really.”

Keyleth stared at Vex’s rounded stomach, eyes wide, mouth agape slightly. 

Just like that, everything was different again. Vex...Vex was pregnant, that much was clear. And everything she’d planned to say, her big announcement, her fears about how they would all react, any  _ idea _ she’d had of where things would go from here...suddenly all of that no longer applied, no longer mattered.

Vex was  _ pregnant _ . Vex and Percy were having a  _ baby _ . They were rebuilding their broken families, together. This child...they were a  _ gift _ , something to be celebrated, all the good they brought with them outweighing the sorrow of their shared losses. Not like Keyleth’s twins, who were just ripping open scabs that had barely begun to heal.

To tell them now, she decided, would be cruel. It would steal Vex’s thunder, turn what should be happy news into a complete disaster. She would not taint Vex’s big moment, not burden her with the knowledge of something that could still be lost...Gods, how far along  _ was  _ she? Should she be showing? Was it bad that she wasn’t yet?

She shook her head, wiping the surprised expression away with the quick movement, putting a smile on her face as she pulled Vex in for another hug, genuinely happy for her, even if the feeling was a bit muddled at the moment.

No, she would wait to tell Vex. Maybe later, when she was actually showing, when she was more confident that nothing would happen. She may hate Keyleth for her decision, when the news finally got out, but it was worth it, to preserve this moment of happiness for Vex.

“Congratulations,” Keyleth said, voice clear and confident in spite of the tempest swirling in her mind and the sinking feeling in her gut. “You’ve got to tell me  _ everything _ .”


	10. 8.

“I wasn’t really sure until after Pandemonium. I kept getting queasy and at first I thought it was a side-effect of all of the extraplanar travel and  _ whatever _ goes on in Pandemonium.”

They’d all settled into the library, Keyleth sitting awkwardly with Pike while Vex leaned against Percy in an oversized plush chair, telling them both all about her big news. They were the picture of young love and wedded bliss, Percy with an arm around her and a hand on her stomach, looking like he still can’t quite believe this was happening, Vex, content, without a trace of grief in her eyes at the moment. They were happy, building something new together, and after everything they’d both lost, why shouldn’t they be?

She just had to keep telling herself that, and try to force the twist of jealousy running through her back into a dark corner of her mind, where she could lock it up and ignore it and not let it ruin her sister’s joy. Keyleth just smiled, nodding at her to continue. She remembered Vex being a bit under the weather when they’d gotten back from saving Grog...but she hadn’t stuck around long to find out if she was okay. She’d just wanted to go home, bury herself in her duties to Zephra, and mourn in peace.

Maybe if she’d stuck around a little longer, this wouldn’t feel so awkward. It never used to feel like this, sitting and talking with Vex or Percy.

“We finally contacted Pike after I had a... _ minor _ accident…”

Percy rolled his eyes and gave Vex a fond look. “Call a spade a spade, my light. You threw up on me and several blueprints.”

“Well,  _ in my defense _ , who’s fault was that, mister ‘I’m going to lock myself in my workshop to work on my big fancy clocktower all day’? If you wanted your blueprints safe, darling, you shouldn’t have made me go hunt you down when I was under the weather.”

Percy blushed and muttered an apology under his breath, Vex laughing as she leaned up to peck him on the cheek, and Keyleth did her best to push the envy away.

“So, you’ve known for a while, then?” she probed, glancing over at Pike, who was watching all of this was an amused expression. “Who else have you told so far?”

Vex sighed. “We’ve known for a little while, yes. Percy wanted to tell everyone right away, but I thought it would be smarter to wait until things were a little more certain. Pike knew first, and we told Cassandra…,” she frowned in thought before her expression turned apologetic. “I think you might actually be the last to know. I’m sorry, Keyleth. I know I should have reached out sooner--”

“--But you needed some space, after...after,” she finished, Vex nodding in agreement. At least they were on the same page here. At least Vex was thinking along the same lines as Keyleth, in regards to telling people, or seeing their friends. It almost made her feel less guilty. Almost.

“That’s a good way to put it,” Vex continued, taking Percy’s hand and giving it a squeeze, his expression darkening for a moment before she pulled him back into the light. “It’s...been an adjustment. I think it’s best we leave it at that.”

Keyleth nodded. A moment of silence passed before she gestured back to Vex, or more specifically, her middle. “So...how are you doing? Really?”

Vex shrugged. “About the same as you, I imagine. Some days are better than others...you know, sometimes I wake up and I forget he’s gone, and something comes to mind and I think, ‘oh, I need to tell Vax about this’, and then I remember, and…” she squeezed Percy’s hand again, holding onto him like he was her lifeline, her anchor. “There are days when I can’t even look in the mirror. It’s silly, isn’t it? It’s just my reflection,” she chuckled bitterly, “but I can’t stand to look at myself sometimes.”

That, Keyleth thought to herself, was not something she’d even considered, when she thought about Vex’s loss. She wanted to get up, to cross the room and hug her sister, tell her she understood her pain, at least to some degree, tell her that she was here, they weren’t alone, they’d both lost him but they still had each other...but she didn’t. Instead, she sat, eyes sad, as Percy comforted his wife, as the de Rolos turned to each other in their time of need, Vex holding his hand, Percy tenderly moving a lock of hair behind her ear, whispering something she couldn’t hear but that she knew was understanding and kind, the sort of thing Vex needed to hear.

Vex didn’t need her. Vex wasn’t alone. Vex had lost part of her soul, but she was rebuilding and putting those pieces back together to build something new, something different.

Gods, Vax would be proud if he could see this. She knew she was, even if looking at them made her feel empty and adrift.

“I’m sorry,” Keyleth eventually said, unsure of what else there was  _ to  _ say. She certainly wasn’t telling them about her current condition, not when Vex was pregnant, not when things were still so uncertain and unstable. She couldn’t offer false platitudes, say that everything would be alright, because nothing  _ would  _ be alright, not in the way they’d known before. She didn’t know how to help her sister in her grief, and that hurt, more than the lying ever could.

“No, no,” Vex said, wiping at her eyes as she pulled back from Percy, giving Keyleth a strained smile. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for, Keyleth. I should be the one saying sorry...you came all this way, and here I am blubbering...How is Zephra? How are  _ you _ doing? It’s been too long, and you left so suddenly…”

“We were worried,” Percy continued. “I was worried. We should have visited you sooner, or written and asked you here, but we thought you might want space…I’m sorry if that was the wrong decision. None of us have been handling this well, it seems.”

She shook her head and gave a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It’s okay. Really, I’m fine. I’m keeping busy with Tempest stuff, and that’s helped, I think. I’ve been doing more work with the council, and I’m trying to reach out and establish closer ties to the other tribes…”

The idea came to her without her fully realizing it. It would be difficult for her to keep her pregnancy hidden, the longer it went on, and while she  _ did  _ want them to know (she had to keep telling herself she wanted them to know), she didn’t want them to just...find out about it without her being ready. She’d need an excuse to keep the rest of her family at a distance for a while, just until she’d figured out how to tell them and what she was doing. Keyleth was a terrible liar, she knew it...but the best lie was one that was wrapped up in the truth. So, she would tell them the truth, or at least part of it.

“It’s why I decided to visit, actually,” she continued, keeping her face as neutral as possible. “I’m trying to forge closer ties with the other Ashari tribes. We’re one people, after all, even if we live far apart...I guess I was thinking that maybe, if we’d all been more in touch, what happened with Raishan and Thordak in Pyrah could have been avoided? I don’t know...but I’m trying to do stuff there, and the water Ashari want help with changing their Aramenté challenge to something a little less deadly,” and Gods, that had been the start of it, that had been when they’d truly begun to lose Vax to  _ Her _ , but she couldn’t think about that now, “So...I may not be around for a while.” She shrugged, smiling at them again, her stomach twisting into knots as she used the truth to lie to her closest friends. “I didn’t want you all to worry if I wasn’t showing up at Whitestone or at any Vox Machina reunion parties or anything.”

Vex nodded in understanding. “That’s fair. If you hadn’t visited soon, we probably would have dropped in unannounced and bothered you while you were working….gods, did you ever think we’d be where we are now? Back when we met in Stilben?”

Keyleth laughed, shaking her head, thinking back to the girl she’d been when she left home, and the scrappy, defensive twins she and Tiberius had met so long ago. “Honestly? I don’t know about you, but I never thought I’d finish my Aramenté in one piece. I was so afraid of all that came with being the head of the tribe, and I wanted to avoid it for so long...and here I am, running straight into it.”

“And you’re doing a splendid job, no doubt,” Vex said, her smile genuine and proud in a way that was just familiar enough to sting. “We’ll miss you, though, so you’d better write. And I want you here when this one shows up,” she gestured to her stomach with a laugh. “You can’t get out of being Auntie Kiki that easily!”

It was easier to think of herself as Auntie Kiki than it was to see herself in Vex’s position, and she latched onto that, and all the possibilities that came with it, with ease. It was easier to be excited for Vex and Percy, after all. They deserved this, this happy ending they’d found themselves in. “Auntie Kiki...that has a ring to it. Gods, you’re  _ pregnant _ ! You guys are having a baby!! How did  _ that _ happen?”

Percy blushed, the tips of his ears going red as Vex gave him a devilish smirk. “Ah. Well...I don’t think we need to go into the details, do we?”

“Oh, darling, don’t be so modest,” Vex teased. “But it was a bit of a surprise…”

Pike, who had been watching the conversation with a mix of amusement and concern, piped up, clasping her hands together. “From what I was able to tell, you two must have conceived before Vecna, so you’ve got one tough kid on the way, to survive all of that  _ and  _ Pandemonium! Can’t say I envy you, they’re gonna be a handful!”

_ To survive all of that… _

Oh,  _ Gods _ . Vex...Vex had died, too. She’d forgotten, in the chaos and panic that came with their first encounter with Vecna, forgotten in the horror of watching Vax turn to dust, knowing she’d made him live his death twice over, but Vex had died too. They’d brought her back fairly quickly, and she’d been in one piece, but…

Her baby wasn’t possible, either. Not if she’d conceived before Vecna, not if she’d been pregnant when she’d been killed. How far along had she been? How far did the meddling of the Raven Queen  _ go _ ? It was bad enough that She was twisting the fate of Keyleth and of her children, but Vex...Vex didn’t deserve that. The Raven Queen had taken too much from her already, She had no  _ right _ to take her child as well.

Keyleth swallowed her fear, her anger on Vex’s behalf, saying nothing as she watched the rest of them, the conversation turning towards Pike and what she’d been up to. She tried to pay attention, tried to smile and laugh and ask questions at the right parts, but all she could think about was how Vex was being used by  _ Her _ ,  _ again _ , and she didn’t know it. 

Maybe it meant nothing. Maybe it was just another...correction, a favor done for Vax without his knowledge. Maybe Pike had been quick enough or Vex just early enough in conception for one resurrection to be enough. Maybe because it was Vecna who’d done it, and not an act of stupidity or foolishness, this was something She was willing to fix without any strings attached, one more move against a god that had threatened Her domain. Maybe she was worrying about nothing. 

But the knowledge that the Raven Queen might have taken liberties with Vex’s life again sat ill with her. She made a mental note that, even if she was keeping to herself for the next few months, she’d need to stay in touch with Vex, to keep a metaphorical eye on things. Maybe another trip to the Duskmeadow was something she’d need to do, as well. 

“Keyleth? Darling, are you alright?”

She blinked. Vex was looking at her, concerned. “You went awfully quiet...copper for your thoughts?”

She smiled, pushing her plans to go and scream at a goddess away for now, shaking her head. “Nothing. I just...I’m really happy for you. For both of you. You’re both going to be  _ amazing _ parents.”

Percy looked unconvinced, staring off into the distance, the flash of darkness that had been in his eyes earlier returning. “Yes, well, as long as they take after Vex’ahlia, they’ll be fine.”

“Percival…,” Vex frowned, placing a hand on her husband’s cheek and turning him to face her. “I, for one, hope that they take after you. If our children are half as clever as you, or as brave, or as  _ good _ , then they’ll be wonderful people and the world will be better for having them in it. And you will be a wonderful father, just as you’re a wonderful husband and a good man. I won’t have anyone tell me otherwise, least of all you.”

Her tone left no room for argument, though Percy still looked unsure. “Vex is right, Percy,” Pike said. “You’re going to be great, and since you’re outnumbered here, you have to listen to us.” She smirked. “Or do you want to tell  _ both _ of us we’re wrong?” 

Percy turned to Keyleth, who shook her head, relieved the focus was no longer on her. “Face it, Percy, you’re definitely outnumbered. I stand by what I said, you’re going to be amazing.”

He sighed, shaking his head, admitting defeat. “I suppose I would be a fool to continue arguing at this point…?”

“Yes, darling, that’s correct. I’m afraid you’ll have to sit here and let us shower you with praise and affection, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us.” Vex grinned at him, kissing him quickly, Percy going red once more as she did so.

Keyleth pushed side her concerns about divine meddling for a moment, grateful the attention was off her once again. There was no point in worrying about that now, not when she couldn’t do anything about it, not when it drew too much focus back onto her when this was supposed to be about Vex and her news. And if she pushed back all of her thoughts, about her twins, about the Raven Queen, about lying to her family and when or how she’d tell them, it was easy enough to let herself get swept up into their conversations, like everything was normal and fine. So, that was what she did. She let herself get wrapped up in the simple pleasure of visiting with her family, talking with people she hadn’t seen for months about everything and nothing. Vex’s announcement did drive quite a bit of conversation, and Keyleth used it as an excuse to ask a lot of the questions she herself wanted answers to. When did she start to show, has she had cravings, what prompted her to tell people now...that sort of stuff. Vex smiled and spoke with her and gave no indication that she was aware Keyleth was hiding something from them all. Neither did Percy, who was usually so perceptive about these things...but given that he was likely distracted by Vex’s condition, it wasn’t really a surprise.

If Pike noticed anything was off, she didn’t say. And if she kept glancing over at Keyleth with mostly masked concern, Keyleth just pretended not to notice.

She wasn’t sure how long they all stayed there in the library, talking and having a nice time like it was the good old days, but eventually, Pike moved to get up and head for the door. “Well, I really should go make sure Grog hasn’t destroyed the tavern...well, he’s probably not the one I should worry about. Scanlan, on the other hand…,” she sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes and smiling fondly. “I’ll be back to visit and check on you and the baby soon, okay? Everything looks normal so far, you two have nothing to worry about.”

“Pike, darling, you’re the best. Really, thank you so much,” Vex said as she got up, untangling herself from Percy to go and hug the gnome cleric. Keyleth decided that this was probably the best time for her to make her own exit. It would be harder to keep the facade up if it was just her and Vex, and the longer she stayed, the longer she lied, the worse she felt.

“I should go home too, she admitted, moving for the door. “The council keeps complaining about me going off on my own, and I don’t want to get a lecture for staying out late, too.” She chuckled, shaking her head, trying to move by her friends for a quick exit before she felt Vex grab at her wrist.

“Keyleth,” she said, voice soft, grip gentle, “I know you’re probably busy, but...please don’t be a stranger? Don’t...don’t stay away for so long again. At least write, let us know how you’re doing. Percy’s been working on trying to develop the next generation of our earrings, for longer distances, and once he’s done that, I want to hear from you all the time, alright?” 

Gods, she  _ hated  _ this. She hated not feeling ready to tell Vex, about lying by keeping her brother’s children secret, by avoiding her friends and family because she was too afraid to let them into this next chapter of her life. She hated how she made them feel concerned, made them worry and think she was worse off in her grief than she, at least for the moment, actually was. She hated the way the words ‘I’m pregnant’ stuck in her throat like peanut butter, how she could picture her babies in her mind’s eye so clearly but couldn’t find the words to tell everyone what she was seeing.

She hated how she just nodded and smiled, and let Vex pull her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Vex,” she said, apologizing for so much more than she could even begin to admit. “I’ll be in touch, I promise. Please don’t worry about me.”

Vex shook her head. “You’re my sister. It’s my job to worry about you.”

She felt another hand on her shoulder and turned to look at Percy, who was giving her a tired, knowing smile. “It’s hard,” he said, “to not let it consume everything about you. It’s so much harder to fight that darkness alone. Trust me, I tried and failed miserably. We’re here whenever you need us.”

She let out a choked noise, swallowing back the beginnings of tears as she pulled him into their group hug. “Thank you, both of you. And congratulations. You’re going to be amazing.”

The guilt and shame still bubbling in her gut, she let them pull away from the hug, making false promises about visiting soon all the while as she headed for the door, joining Pike and walking silently down the corridor and towards the exit, out towards the rest of Whitestone.

“Keyleth,” Pike suddenly said, before they parted ways near the tavern. “You know...if there’s something going on you want to talk about...if you don’t feel like you can talk to Vex or Percy, that’s okay. Things are complicated right now, with everyone, and I understand not wanting to add more weight to their load...but if there’s something on your mind...something bothering you or that you need to tell someone...you can, you know that?”

Of course. Of course Pike had picked up on the fact she was hiding something. Even if she didn’t know what, she knew Keyleth was keeping something to herself, and given how smart Pike was, she’d put the pieces together soon enough if given the chance. And, Gods, she  _ wanted  _ to tell them all. Doing this without them knowing was going to be so much worse, and she  _ knew _ her reasons for keeping quiet were flimsy. But...she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. Not yet.

But Pike was right. She needed to talk to somebody.

And it came to her out of nowhere, who she could talk to. Who she should talk to.

With a nod towards Pike, she leaned down to hug her friend, quick and tight. “I know. Thank you, Pike. And I will, I promise. And...and when I’m ready to talk to the rest of you, I will.”

Pike nodded, patting her shoulder as she pulled away. “Good. You don’t have to do this alone, Keyleth. Whatever it is that’s on your shoulders, if you can’t let us take some of that weight, you should find somebody who can.”

And with that, the gnome headed further into town, her white hair fading from sight before disappearing into the crowd. Keyleth stood there for a moment, watching her walk away, wondering if she was wrong to keep quiet still when Pike had given her a chance to open up, before letting out a breath and heading for the Sun Tree.

She didn’t check in with it, like she’d promised. She’d have to apologize on her next visit, whenever that would be, though she did try to give it a mental fist bump, an acknowledgement that they would talk more later.

With one last glance over her shoulder to the castle of Whitestone, to the family she was running from, she opened a portal and stepped through.


	11. 9.

Greyskull Keep was no longer home. It hadn’t been home for a very long time, not since the dragons came, not since Tiberius left suddenly, not since Whitestone. But it was as good a place as any to use as a landmark, the trees in the chapel atrium just as good a way to pop in as any other in Emon. It was a little further away from her destination, true, but she could use the walk. The keep wasn’t home, but it hadn’t been abandoned permanently, having found new life following the defeat of the Conclave as the Whitestone embassy. There were probably other things here now, she thought as she stepped out into what had once been Vox Machina’s base of operations. It was a big space with a lot of resources, there was no reason for it to be left empty and abandoned. It could still be useful.  
  


She had a lot of fond memories of Greyskull. It had been their first permanent residence as a group, the first real symbol of their success as adventurers. She knew that, for the twins, it had been the first real home they’d had in a very long time. For her, it had been another way of proving to herself that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t be a terrible leader after all. If she was able to help save a royal family, if she had made a smart decision in the company she kept, maybe she wouldn’t be the ruin of her people.  
  


She wasn’t sure if any of that still held true anymore, but it had been a nice thought at the time. Yes, she had many fond memories of Greyskull, but many of those memories were bittersweet now, tinged with the knowledge of what was to come. Percy and his demons coming to face them all, Tiberius being called away and lost forever, the coming of dragons that, in a way, seemed like foreshadowing of worse things to come.  
  


But she wasn’t here to think about the good old days, or the way the good memories looked bad with hindsight, or any of that. She wasn’t even really here for Greyskull Keep. She was here to...to…  
  


Gods, what was she doing. This was a terrible idea. Pike may have been right, but what the hell had prompted her to think that _this_ was the right course of action?  
  


She could still turn back. Still just open another portal and go back home, talk with the people who already knew, and not deal with any more emotional fallout. It would be so easy to just turn around and walk away.  
  


She found herself in front of Gilmore’s Glorious Goods before she knew it. She couldn’t run from this forever, and...and she wanted to tell someone. She wanted to tell Gilmore.  
  


“He might not even be in,” Keyleth muttered to herself as she stood in front of the shop door, making no move to try and go in. “He could be in Westruun, or in Vasselheim, or even Marquet...you’d know if you actually talked to people before dropping in on them, Kiki, you dummy…”  
  


And _why_ did she want to tell Gilmore, of all people? It wasn’t as if she disliked him; far from it, he was a good man and a good friend, who’d always been important to Vox Machina. He’d been important to Vax. Maybe that was why she wanted him to know...but she hadn’t even been able to tell Vex. How could she tell Gilmore if she couldn’t tell Vax’s twin that she was pregnant?  
  
And that wasn’t even getting into the complicated feelings she knew Vax held about Gilmore. He’d never said anything to her about it one way or the other, but she knew that he’d never stopped loving the man, even after he’d pushed those feelings away to chase after her. He’d always regretted how things had been between him and Gil, always felt guilty about hurting him. She wasn’t always the best when it came to people, but she could see it in the little ways Vax carried himself in conversations with Gilmore, after they’d parted. It wasn’t anything big, and sometimes she wondered if he even realized he was doing it, but she could see. The way his eyes would soften, and then break, just a bit. The slight slump in his shoulders.

  
She’d seen how he’d been when Gilmore had nearly died, during the Conclave. Vax may have loved her, but he’d never stopped loving Gil. And Gilmore...he’d loved Vax just as much as she had, and the way they’d told him about his death had never sat right with them. Or, at least, it never sat right with her. It...it was like he’d been an afterthought. They’d been so glad to see him alright and alive after Vecna that it didn’t even occur to any of them to tell him about Vax until he’d asked himself.

_  
Where’s the pretty one_ , he’d said, voice light with laughter and relief at their survival, eyes scanning their group. And the way he’d looked, the way the light disappeared as he looked at them, saw them missing one, and realized before they’d been able to break the news to him. The way he’d put the mask of Glorious Gilmore back on because he had to, the way she still hadn’t quite managed to do so herself. 

  
So...things were... _complicated_ , with Gilmore. Telling him about the twins was going to make them even more so, and she knew it. So, why hadn’t she left yet? Why was she still standing outside, torn between going in and just _talking_ to him and running away?

Keyleth let out a sigh, placing her hand gently on the door, before pushing her way in.

Gilmore’s Glorious Goods had been rebuilt, after the Conclave, and while it still lived up to its name, part of her saw the new and improved shop and could only see the rubble left behind by the dragons. The destruction, the Tal’Dorei family hiding, Gilmore, dying in Vax’s arms as he tried desperately to get him to hang on…

“Can I help you?”

It wasn’t Gilmore’s voice that brought her out of her thoughts, but it was still a familiar one. Turning around, Keyleth locked eyes with a familiar half elf woman, her brown hair pulled up into a ponytail.

“Sherri,” she said warmly. Sherri blinked, and it seemed to take her a moment before she realized who she was talking to, before her face lit up, a slight blush on her cheeks. 

“Lady Keyleth! Nice to see you, it's certainly been a while…” She was starting, Keyleth noted, to sound a little bit like Gilmore. She wondered if he’d been training her to take over one of the other shops or something. “Is there anything I can help you with? The rest of Vox Machina isn’t with you, are they?” she asked, looking around, almost disappointed that it was just Keyleth popping in.

“It’s good to see you again, Sherri...it’s just me, I’m afraid,” she said with a shrug. “I was in the neighborhood, and I wanted to pop in and say hi, I guess...is Gilmore here, by any chance?”

“He’s actually here, for _once_ ,” Sherri said with a fond roll of her eyes. “Finally back from the Westruun shop...he’s been talking about setting up a third branch, but it’s just talk at the moment. He’s in the back, if you’d like me to get him?”

Keyleth nodded, watching as Sherri went back behind the counter, the beaded curtain klinking gently as she pushed through it and out of sight, leaving Keyleth alone in the shop. He’d certainly done a fine job rebuilding it, she thought to herself as she browsed through rows of books and magical goods. So much of his stock had been destroyed, or looted...she’d never been sure if he’d recovered anything from Thordak’s hoard once the Cinder King was dead, and once she’d been back in Zephra with Vax, she hadn’t really come by during her brief visits to Emon. The rebuilt shop was completely new to her, familiar but not too familiar. She liked it. Vax probably would have too.

  
The smell of incense was heavy in the air, just as it had been during those first visits so long ago. For some reason, the scents were mingling in a way that sat ill with Keyleth, making her feel lightheaded and dizzy in a way they never had before.

  
She took a deep breath, gripping onto a shelf as she did so, trying to right herself and make the rolling in her stomach go away. It was just nerves, she thought, nerves and some leftover guilt from her trip to Whitestone, nothing more. Behind her, the beaded curtain jingled as it moved again, a familiar bombastic voice breaking through her mental mantra.

“ _Key_ leth! Hello, dear!”

Gilmore, it seemed, hadn’t changed too much in the few months since she’d last seen him. He was just as radiant and glorious as she remembered, decked out in purple robes and golden jewelry, giving her a wide smile, arms open wide as he walked past the counter. “It’s been _too_ long! It’s ever so good to see you again! How have...things...been…?”

  
The smile fell from his face slightly, the bright welcoming gleam in his eyes turning to concern as he pulled his arms back. Keyleth swayed on her feet, incense fogging her mind, the tempest in her stomach growing, as she opened her mouth to say hello, to take another deep breath, to do _something_ \--

And she threw up.

Right in front of Gilmore.

  
The man had, luckily, seemed to realize what was about to happen before she did, dodging out of the way, so she at least hadn’t thrown up _on him_ , which would have made this even worse. She groaned, bending over and curling in on herself a bit, the nausea still there but, thankfully, more in the background now that she’d...dealt with it, as it were. Vaguely, she heard Gilmore say something to Sherri, saw him wave his hands and prestidigitate her sick leavings away. He leaned down in front of her, one hand on her shoulder, the other tilting her chin up. There was a pounding in her head, the smell in the air cloying and choking.

  
“Why don’t we go to the back,” he said quietly. “Sherri is getting you some water, and I’ve taken care of the mess.”

  
Wordlessly, Keyleth nodded, stumbling again as she stood up and tried to right herself, another bout of nausea and dizziness momentarily overtaking her. “Sorry,” she mumbled weakly, forgetting for a moment where she was, why she was here, and that her condition was still secret. “Thought morning sickness was a morning thing…”

  
Gilmore stiffened, his grip on her shoulder tightening momentarily before loosening as he let out a long sigh. “Yes...well. I can’t say that I’m familiar with that particular affliction, but I know the incense can be a bit... _cloying_ , at times, for some. Come, let’s get you in the back.” His voice was as congenial as ever, but there was something underneath it, in the slight nervous edge to his words, in the gentle way that he guided her back through the curtain, back beyond the storage areas to where he kept his quarters. She couldn’t place it, exactly. It could have been defensive, guarded...or protective.

“It seems like you’ve got _quite_ the story to tell me, my dear.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d been back in Gilmore’s private quarters...but given that the last time she’d been here they’d been destroyed and he was bleeding out in a secret passage underneath them, she wasn’t sure how much that counted. They were very Gilmore, bright and colorful, but there was a simplicity to them. In the privacy of his quarters, Gilmore did not have to put on an act. He could still be glorious, as if being anything else was possible, but he didn’t need to play it up, back here.

  
She wondered how many times Vax had been back here. Not in this exact chamber, but in his old quarters.

  
Gilmore led her to a particularly plush looking chair, waiting until she was seated before leaving, coming back a moment later with two glasses of water. He handed one to her, watching as she gulped it down, before handing her the second one, sitting across from her, his expression unreadable.

“So, Keyleth,” he said, his tone conversational, congenial, “I take it this visit wasn’t an impromptu shopping trip?” 

  
She sighed, slumping into the chair, her stomach still a bit queasy. “I’m pregnant,” she finally said after what felt like an age. Gilmore nods, and there’s something in his eyes, an unexpected hardness...it takes her a moment to realize why he was looking at her like that. “It’s Vax’s. _They’re_ Vax’s. He didn’t know...I didn’t know, I’ve only known for a little while myself and...” The edge in his eyes immediately vanished, any doubt that she would’ve moved on from him so soon gone. Part of her was a little insulted that he’d even think she’d move on, quickly or otherwise. Mostly, though, she just felt tired. If Gilmore had reacted so quickly with judgement, knowing her as well as he did...well, it reinforced her beliefs to keep this quiet for now. The quick judgement was bad enough from him, she didn’t think she could bear seeing it from Vex, or Percy, or any of them.

  
“‘They’re’?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “How far along are you, to know that?”

“I don’t know. The situation is...sort of complicated.”

“I think I can handle complicated. I handled you all for quite some time, didn’t I?”

She snorted, unable to hold the laugh back. He made a very good point. It wasn’t like they’d been the stuff of legends when they’d all first met Gilmore, and yet he’d put up with all of them. Not just for the sake of the affection he held Vax in, either, but because he _liked_ them. He liked all of them. 

  
So, with that in mind, she told him. She told him everything. 

  
She started at the beginning, with her return home, the little changes in mood and appetite and energy that clued in one more knowledgeable than her. Her denial, why it seemed impossible, leading to a brief detour into her explaining the Goldfish Incident (Gilmore, to his credit, did manage to not laugh at her moment of monumental stupidity). Confirming the impossible was happening, her trip to the Raven Queen’s temple, the goddess’s ‘gift’ to her champion… Gilmore’s grip on his chair tightened at the mention of the Matron, that cold hardness returning to his eyes for a moment. At least they were united in their dislike of Her, for Her part in taking Vax away. But beyond that, he was quiet as she told her tale, nodding and gesturing for her to continue.

  
“And once I realized Vex was pregnant...I knew I couldn’t tell her, or any of them, at least not yet. It’s stupid, I know, they _should_ know, but...I don’t know.” She sighed, resting her head in her hands. “If this goes wrong...I _can’t_ get them excited for this only to take it away again. It’s not fair to them, they don’t deserve that.”

“And what about you? What do you think you deserve?”

Keyleth blinked, looking back up at Gilmore. She didn’t...what did _she_ deserve? What did that have to do with any of this? The confusion must have been evident, because Gilmore sighed, leaning back in his chair as he gave her a soft, sympathetic smile.

  
“Keyleth, my dear,” he said as he steepled his fingers, looking at her over them, “This is not Vox Machina’s child, nor is it Vex’s or the Raven Queen’s. It’s _yours_ . You don’t need to do anything to meet anyone’s expectations except for your own, whatever they may be. So. What do you think you deserve? What do _you_ want?”

  
She...hadn’t really thought about it much, now that the question had been presented to her. So far it had just been nerves and fear and anger, with bursts of excitement and happiness in between. All feelings, with very little thought. And the actions she had taken, the people she’d told, she had wanted to...but there was an element of obligation to it, of necessity. 

What _did_ she want?

  
“I…,” she hesitated, trying to think, trying to find the right words to say. “I want...I want to tell the others, but I also...kind of want to keep this to myself for a while? I know that’s probably selfish, they deserve to know, but like I said, what if something goes wrong? What if I do something wrong? Gil, I’m _terrible_ with kids! I don’t know how to talk with them without feeling awkward and weird, I don’t know the first thing about babies or taking care of them, and now I’m going to have _two_ to look after? I can’t tell them, they’re just going to think I’m lying about them being Vax’s, or that I’m hysterical, or they’ll just feel bad for me...I just want this to be mine, for a little bit. My thing to figure out, so that if I screw up, they never know, they won’t have another thing to feel bad about!”

  
Gilmore nodded. She didn’t know if he understood, if anything she was saying made sense...truthfully, it didn’t make a lot of sense to her, either. _None_ of this made sense, and it would just be easier to tell the others and get their help, why did she want to do this on her own so badly?

  
“And why did you decide to tell me?” There was no judgement in his voice, no prodding, and it was such a _simple_ question, with so much weight behind it, and something in Keyleth snapped, just a little.

  
“I don’t _know!!_ I don’t know why I can’t tell them, or why I’m telling you, or why I’m not home getting this taken care of! I don’t know what I’m doing, or what I want, or what _they_ need, or anything!” She let out a noise of frustration as she stood up, angrily running a hand through her hair, pacing back and forth in front of Gilmore. Why had she come here? What made her think that she could tell Gilmore when she couldn’t tell Vex? When there was so much weight and history between her and him and Vax, so many things that will never be resolved now, and _oh,_ how much he must resent her, for being here and alive when Vax wasn’t, how she resented herself for being here when Vax had so much _more_ to give, and she couldn’t do this alone, why did she want to do this alone, she was barely beginning and already she felt like she was at the end of her rope--

“Keyleth. Keyleth, _breathe._ ”

She didn’t know when Gilmore had stood up, hadn’t seen him cross the small divide between them to grip her shoulders, trying to anchor her back down, pull her out of the spiral she’d fallen down once again. She looked at him, trying to find a hint of judgement or resentment in his face...but there was none. There was nothing there by the concerned eyes of a friend, of a person she’d decided to come to because Vax had trusted him and loved him until the day he died, but even more than that, because she _trusted_ him. Gilmore was a good man, kind and brave and generous, who held no grudges and was good with children in a way she wasn’t sure she could ever been, and who had been a member of Vox Machina in all but name. Telling him felt right, even if she didn’t fully understand why. If Vax had been here, Vex would have been the first person they told...and Gilmore would have been the second. Maybe that was why. She didn’t know. Maybe it didn’t matter.

They locked eyes for a second, before she collapsed into his arms, hugging him tightly, the frustration and fear and exhaustion coming out with a shuddering, sobbing breath.

  
“Shaun, I’m _scared_ ,” she said. “I’m afraid to tell everyone else! I’m not ready to have kids, I don’t have the first idea of what babies need, and I can’t screw this up, I know I’m going to, but I _can’t!_ ”

  
Gilmore said nothing, just let her cry and ruin his silken purple shirt with her tears, occasionally giving her a gentle pat on the back, waiting for her to calm down, for this latest wave of sorrow to run its course. Eventually, it did, as it alway seemed to, and she pulled back, face and eyes red. She sniffled and rubbed at her eyes before trying to give him a wet, apologetic smile. “Sorry...I think I got snot on your robe.”

  
Gilmore blinked at her and laughed, a deep, hearty sound that made her feel a little better, a little lighter. “Not a problem, my dear! That, at least, is something I can easily rectify!” With a quick wave of his hand, the tear tracks and mucus disappeared. It must be so much easier, she thought, cleaning up messes when you were a sorcerer. He’d done it before, when they’d told him about Vax’s death, like magicking away messy feelings and pain was second nature to him. It might be nice to be able to so quickly hide your sorrow, to pretend it wasn’t there. It still was, of course, but at least it would make pretending a little easier.

She couldn’t go down that path again. Not now, not when she’d just pulled herself out of it.

“Now...I’ve never been in your situation,” Gilmore said, putting a hand on her shoulder, “But I can understand what it’s like, to be faced with a great change and not being sure if you’re ready. Leaving home, leaving my family, opening my shop, it doesn’t quite compare to having a child. But it was still a change, and even knowing that it was something I wanted to do, there was still hesitation and fear. I was leaving my home and everyone I knew to start something new, on my own. Was I doing the right thing? Was it the right time? There were so many things to be unsure about and to second guess...and look where I am now. I know it doesn’t compare to where you are,” he squeezed her shoulder, “but I know you’ll face this with the same strength and grace that you’ve faced so many challenges before this.”

  
There was a hint of sadness on the edge of his smile, pushed back and hidden away, but his eyes were warm and comforting, and looking at him now, Keyleth could understand why Vax had cared for him so much.

  
“You will make the decisions that are the best for you right now. If that involves keeping this to yourself, then that’s that. Though,” his smile grew wider, more like the glorious self he presented to the world, “I’m quite flattered that you decided to tell me. My lips, as they say, are sealed.”

  
The thought of keeping this to herself still sat ill with her. It didn’t feel right to not tell her closest friends about this huge change in her life, didn’t feel right to deprive them of whatever milestones or big moments may be coming. But keeping it a secret, for as much as it felt wrong, also...felt weirdly right. It didn’t make sense, she _knew_ it didn’t make sense, but...there had been so many things in her life that had been beyond her control. Her mother’s departure and disappearance, her being chosen as the next leader, the chaos and death of their adventures, the dragons, Vecna, Vax...even the things that had some element of choice to them felt like they were out of her hands, at times. And there was so much she couldn’t choose about where this was going to go from here...but she could choose who to tell. Who to not tell. When to tell them.

  
Let Vex have her moment. Let her and Percy have their hard earned happy ending, with their family and their baby, with nothing of Keyleth’s to worry them. Let Pike and Scanlan find their way together, let Grog be Grog. She chose to keep this to herself, to carry the worry and fear and all the good and bad that came with this pregnancy on her own. And she would choose to tell them all, when the time was right. Part of Keyleth knew that, as things went on, she was going to be at war with herself about every decision she made, this one included, but right now, she just wanted to feel something beyond the tempest that had been drowning her since before she knew she was pregnant. And making a decision, and sticking with it...it was a start.

  
“I’m going to tell them, eventually,” she said. “I’m not ready to, now...but I will be, I think. And...it’s okay, that I’m not telling them, because I need to make these decisions, these are my babies, nobody else's, and this feels like the right call right now.” It wasn’t a question, though it still felt like one. Gilmore nodded, giving her another smile.

  
“You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Keyleth.”

  
“And if this is a mistake? If I make a bunch more mistakes?”

  
“Well...they say nobody really knows what to expect when they’re expecting,” he shrugged. “I suspect making mistakes is par for the course with these things. How else would you learn what’s right?”

  
There were no tears, when she hugged him again. 

  
“Can I come and visit again soon?” She wasn’t sure why she was asking. Gilmore was her friend, it wasn’t like any of them had asked to visit before, they just did whenever they were in town, or when they were in Whitestone. But that felt...it felt like they’d been taking Gilmore and his friendship for granted before. Just assuming he’d always be there. So much had changed since then, and…she didn’t want to do that, anymore. She’d decided to trust Gilmore with her secret (and it was a secret now, officially, she’d made that decision and there was no going back, even if she told the others down the road), and it only seemed fair to give him her friendship in return.

  
His eyes softened and she could have sworn, just for a moment, that she saw the beginnings of tears there as he nodded and hugged her again.

  
Returning home to where she and Vax had once lived together, still felt strange. Not quite wrong, anymore, but strange, like he could walk out from behind a doorframe or tap her on the shoulder at any moment. Cleaning it up had helped, if only by making things look a bit less familiar, but if she was going to do this, she had to swallow her discomfort and her grief and keep pushing forward.

  
Keyleth moved around to grab a few things before sitting at the kitchen table, now cleared of dagger and bottles and beakers. She pulled out the list that Nell had given her, putting it aside a blank sheet of paper. With a quick glance at it, she divided the sheet into two columns and began to write.

THINGS THE BABIES DON’T LIKE:

-Incense

-Lying

THINGS THE BABIES LIKE:

-Gilmore

It was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be a little different, and may be a week late, as I actually need to write it. I've been nervous to write it, because I don't want to mess it up, so I guess I've been delaying it...you know how it is  
> Also, I'm starting to catch up to where I'm currently at in my doc, and with circumstances being what they are, my creative drive has taken a bit of a hit, so the weekly schedule may fall off a little bit...I'm still doing my best, though! If there are additional delays following the next chapter, I'll be sure to let you all know in the chapter notes.
> 
> Next time, another interlude, and this one, I promise you, will be glorious.


	12. Interlude: Gilmore

Gilmore still remembered the day that he met Vox Machina with fondness. At the time, he hadn’t known just how much they would all come to mean to him...no, they were just another group of ragtag adventurers, customers who were likely trying to shop for supplies far out of their price range. Groups like that were a copper a dozen, he’d realized, especially in a large city like Emon. It was part of the reason why he’d opened up shop there, after all!

And then, of course, he’d gotten a better look at them. Ragtag and relatively bedraggled looking, they were indeed, but he could see that there was something different about them all. Perhaps it was how eclectic a bunch they all were (he couldn’t recall ever having met a goliath up until that point, though perhaps that was just because most weren’t as personable or as memorable as Grog Strongjaw), or perhaps it was the way that Vex’ahlia haggled like a master, taking him by surprise with her negotiation tactics when it came to shopping. It could have been the way they travelled with a sorcerer…but it was probably because of Vax’ildan, if he was being honest with himself.

It was the looks at first. It always was..Vax’ildan was a handsome man, and Gilmore wasn’t afraid to admit he had a weak spot for a pretty face. So perhaps it was that attraction, that desire to see more of that pretty face in his shop, that made him take an interest in Vox Machina. So he acted as their sponsor, kept them coming back, and got to know them all. And as he came to know Vox Machina, he came to care about them all, very much. They were more than customers to him. More than just a band of adventurers. They were his friends, and he loved them all very much. And Vax’ildan…

Well, part of him had always known Vax’ildan would break his heart. It was worth the pain just to consider him a friend, and even after Vax’ildan had ended what could have been, he still considered him a very dear friend. 

He just hadn’t expected him to break Keyleth’s heart, either.

Her visit had been an unexpected but welcome surprise. He had seen so little of Vox Machina since Vecna. They were splitting up and starting their own lives, so of course he hadn’t expected to see much of them, but he did miss their company. Her news had come as  _ quite _ the surprise, as was the fact that she’d chosen to tell  _ him _ , of all people. He was flattered, of course, and rather touched, given that she didn’t seem ready to tell anyone else, but he wasn’t quite sure why she’d chosen to tell him. He cared about her, as he cared for all of Vox Machina, but the two of them weren’t uniquely close...though they both loved Vax’ildan. Perhaps that was why. Regardless, she hadn’t been in any state for those sorts of questions. He’d focused on guiding her to the answers she was looking for, that he knew she’d already figured out but just needed to admit to somebody, focused on making sure she was feeling better emotionally and physically (he’d been debating whether or not to replace the carpeting in the shop, anyway). He got her settled, walked her to the door with a smile on his face and a promise that they would have another little chat soon, and he saw her off. The smile remained on his face until he was sure she was gone. Once he was sure she was out of sight and not coming back, the smile slid off his face. He let out a small sigh, shoulders slumping slightly as he walked away from the door towards the back of the store, where he’d been conversing with Keyleth minutes earlier.

Sometimes, he thought, it was hard to always have to be glorious. Particularly when he didn’t feel glorious, which was something that seemed to be happening more often than not these days. It had been a long and trying few years, and the weight of everything that had happened was starting to catch up with him. Many days would pass now where he just felt...tired. 

He grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring one and putting it near the empty chair where Keyleth had sat, taking the other and returning to his own seat, sinking into it and closing his eyes.

“Oh, Vax’ildan,” he said, taking a long sip of wine, “what a mess you’ve left behind.”

Gilmore could almost picture him, sitting across from him, wine glass in hand, a sheepish smile on his face as he tried to explain how he’d, once again, gotten himself into trouble, as they’d once done many times before.

Gods, he missed him. He missed those conversations, the banter and casual flirting that had never quite stopped, even after Vax’ildan made his choice. He missed his easy smile, the way the light caught on his hair, the spark of mischief in his eyes. He missed those early days, when Vax’ildan was just a scrappy adventurer, a rogue with a chip on his shoulder instead of the weight of the world. Even before they’d parted, something had changed between them, something he hadn’t realized was lost until it became clear it was never coming back.

“You know, you hurt me,” Gilmore said. “Even without meaning to, you did. I don’t blame you, of course...I don’t even know if you realize you were doing it. It was worth it, either way. Your friendship was worth more than anything, and I don’t know if you realized that, either.”

In his mind, Vax’ildan sighed, putting the glass aside and leaning forward, beautiful eyes sad as they locked with his.

_ “I never,  _ ever _ , wanted to hurt you, Shaun. You were one of the best men I knew...it was an honor to be your friend. If things had been different--” _

“But they weren’t. You didn’t even tell me you were dying.” And perhaps that had been too much to ask for, from somebody who was just a friend, from somebody who circumstances beyond all their control was pulling away to a greater destiny. Maybe if Vax’ildan had told him...well, it wouldn’t matter, would it? What would it have changed?

“Did you know about her, when you let the Raven Queen take you? If you had known, would you have fought to stay?” Because the wounds that Vax’ildan had left on Gilmore’s heart were old. They had scabbed and healed over and scarred, and while they still hurt, he was still alive. He could look back on them with fondness. Keyleth’s loss, her pain, that was still new. Still bleeding, regardless of how well she bandaged it and hid her aches and sorrows.

_ “I made a deal. I couldn’t--I can’t--” _

But that wasn’t a fair question for Gilmore to ask, and he knew it. He knew about the...complicated relationship between the twins and their father, knew how difficult it was for their mother to raise twins on her own. If he’d had any choice in the matter, he would have been here, supporting Keyleth and smiling like a fool as they told everyone together. But how much choice had he had in the matter? The Raven Queen would not be denied what was Her’s, and fighting fate only got one so far. He sighed and took another sip, letting the wine sit on his tongue, bittersweet and heavy. 

“Your friends miss you. Your family misses you. I miss you.”

There was silence. As expected.

“Your sister is expecting as well, do you know that? Wherever you are now, are you watching over them all? I haven’t spoken to them in person since they told me, you know. Vex’ahlia writes, and obviously I’ve seen Keyleth…Haven’t heard from the others, though.”

Maybe it wasn’t just that he missed Vax’ildan. Maybe he just missed Vox Machina, that ragtag band that had stepped into his shop and changed his life. Maybe he was just lonely. They were all so much larger than life in a way that was different from his own grandiose, and the absence of those he called friends made the scars on his heart twinge and ache in different ways. There was nothing keeping him from visiting them, of course...but it felt odd. They were all growing up, in a sense, and going their separate ways. He was a relic of their past (though he doubted any of them would say that, they were far too kind). And the past, particularly the recent past, was painful for all of them. It wasn’t something one would willingly go chase down.

And yet, here he was, drinking alone and imagining a conversation with a dead man who never loved him in the same way that Gilmore loved him. Thinking about the children that Vax’ildan would never get to meet, and the trial that Keyleth was facing on her own.

“Well, I suppose not on her own,” he admitted. “She did come to tell me...I’m quite flattered about that, you know.”

In his mind, Vax’ildan chuckled. 

_ “She likes you. You’re important to all of us. Of course she’d tell you.” _

That made Gilmore laugh softly. “You flatter me. Well, regardless of why, she did tell me. I’m glad she did, I think she needed to tell someone. Poor girl...regardless of who they take after, she’s going to have her hands full.”

_ “You’ll help her, right? You’ll be there for her?” _

“Of course I will be.” There was no hesitation to his answer. Regardless of the fact that he and Keyleth hadn’t been close once, they were now bonded in shared knowledge and grief. 

_ “...I’m sorry, Gil. For everything. And...thank you. Truly, it was an honor.” _

Shaun Gilmore just smiled to himself as he sat in silence for a moment longer, opening his eyes and placing his empty glass on the table. He should get back to the shop, he thought. A normal routine would be good to keep him on track...besides, part of him was curious, now, as to what sort of magical baby toys he could come up with.

He didn’t notice the raven feathers on the chair as he left the room to go and be glorious once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I got this out on schedule after all! Yay! Gilmore is pretty dang fun to write, once you get the hang of him...
> 
> Anyhoo, we ARE starting to get to the point where I'm currently at in writing this fic. I think there's two more chapters to go up and I'll be out of backlog, so this regular schedule will probably go away for a bit once we get there, so I can get more written and saved so I don't abandon this (and I don't wanna abandon it either so).
> 
> Anyway, thank you for your continued support!


	13. 10.

Time, as it was wont to do, went on.

There was plenty to keep Keyeth busy, beyond the worries and concerns and excitement that came with her pregnancy. She had her duties to Zephra, to all of the Ashari. When she had told Vex that she had plans to forge closer ties with the other tribes, it hadn’t been a lie, at least not entirely. She sent letters out to the other headmasters, talking about reaching out and finding ways to overcome the distance between them all. They may be four tribes, but they were one people, and perhaps if they’d been closer, in communication if not distance, what happened in Pyrah with Raishan could have been avoided. If they’d kept in touch, perhaps her mother would have been better prepared for the kraken that awaited her in Vesrah. So many things could have been different, if they just all  _ talked _ to each other.

She tried not to think too much about how ironic that was, given her current situation.

But she reached out to try and bridge the gaps, starting a line of communication that would, hopefully, lead to progress in the future. She spent more time acting as the headmaster should, meeting with the council and working for the betterment of the people. She taught classes to the younger druids, working them through the basics of druidcrafting and shape changing, she met with her people, doing her best to assist them with their day to day problems. There was so much she had to make up for, having been an absentee leader and a poor Voice of the Tempest for so long. And, as she quickly realized, keeping busy kept her mind from wandering to the worst case scenarios that had consumed her thoughts in the early days of her pregnancy. They still came to mind, of course, but at least they weren’t a constant presence as she went about her days. 

And she wrote Vex. She’d promised she would, and even though every letter she sent out felt like another lie, another stab in the gut, she wasn’t going to shut her sister out. The letters between Zephra and Whitestone were constant, coming and going in the steady grip of the ravens that now seemed to favor both places as their new homes. She kept her letters simple and as impersonal as possible, mostly talking about the daily goings on in Zephra, her work with the council, the influx of ravens...little things that, were they meeting in person, she’d have used as a launching point for other, more important conversations.

As Vax had suggested (at least, she  _ thought _ it was him. She hadn’t entirely ruled out that ‘conversation’ as her stressed, grief-addled mind messing with her), she sent his extra pair of boots to Vex. Her reaction, as expected, was less than thrilled. But it had, at least for a moment, made her laugh, to read the rage on that paper, because that was  _ exactly _ how Vex reacted every time Vax had the boots, and vice versa. It was a brief return to the way their lives should have been.

_ Magic or not, _ Vex had written,  _ you’re not getting these back. They might not be  _ the _ boots, but they were still his, and...thank you, Keyleth. _ The paper had been slightly blotchy, some of the words blurred and the ink faded, and in spite of the fully justified anger Vex must have felt for a moment, Keyleth knew sending her the boots was the right call. 

Most of their letters weren’t so emotionally tense, though. Vex’s were filled with talk of Whitestone, of both her and Percy’s grand plans to make the city, as she said, ‘the tits’. Percy had put most of his plans on hold for the moment, though, redirecting his energy into preparing for the upcoming birth of their child, throwing all of his creative efforts into designing the nursery, inventing a safer crib, making toys for the baby...all the things a father should assist with, when preparing for a new arrival. 

Keyleth hadn’t exactly been putting any of that off, but it hadn’t taken up as much of her focus as it probably should have. In truth, she’d tried as much as possible since learning she was pregnant to  _ not _ think about the twins and what she needed to do to prepare for their arrival. Part of her was still expecting it all to go wrong, to wake up and for them to just be gone, for them to have never been real to begin with. Part of her was afraid to do more than the basics when it came to them, afraid to invest more of herself when this could still come crashing around her. She’d admitted that, as scared as she was, she did want them, she did  _ want _ to be a mother to them, and that she was going to do whatever she could to make sure they grew up happy, healthy, and with as many choices as possible. But that hadn’t translated into action as well as she’d hoped it would.

Vex’s letters were a weight on her conscience in many ways, but they also provided her with information she desperately needed. Yes, she could, and had, asked the tribe healer about what to look for, and she’d spoken with Derrig and Nell many times now, but Vex, though she didn’t realize it, was in nearly the same position as Keyleth. An impossible baby, still alive and growing in spite of their mother’s death and rebirth, who’s survival was only possible due to divine intervention for unknown purposes. It was tough enough to know what was going right and what was supposed to happen in a normal pregnancy, let alone one that occurred under such unusual circumstances. So in every letter where Vex mentioned something that sounded familiar, like feeling nauseous because of a certain smell, or how her breasts were starting to grow and ache a little, things that she herself was becoming very familiar with, it brought a sense of relief. If something didn’t seem right with any of her symptoms, Vex would have said so. So, they must be normal. So, what Keyleth was feeling was  _ also  _ normal.

It didn’t make the nausea go away or the cravings any less strange, but it certainly helped.

It was one of Vex’s letters that ultimately spurred Keyleth into taking more preparative actions to get her house (not home, not yet, but it was starting to get there, slowly) ready for her new arrivals. Well, Vex’s letter and Percy’s actions described therein.

_ I know you’re busy, darling, but you need to come visit and see the crib Percy’s made _ , Vex had written, the pride and excitement coming through with every word.  _ He’d say it’s just a crib, but he’s being humble. It’s a work of art! There are these beautiful wooden bits he carved himself, and the Whitestone crest at the head...he’s more proud of the mechanical bits and the safety measures, but sometimes I forget how much of an artist he can be.  _

There was no doubt in Keyleth’s mind that whatever Percy made for his and Vex’s child would be state of the art and stunning to look at, art and science mixed together in that way only he was able to manage. But it got her thinking about the things  _ she _ would need, for when the twins arrived. She’d already started to stock up on some of the smaller things, like baby clothes and cloth diapers and tiny dishes. Little things that were necessary and easy to store, easy to forget about until she needed them….but nothing big, not yet. No blankets or high-chairs or changing tables. No cribs. But as time passed and it became clear that this was happening, that nothing was going wrong, it became harder and harder to put off getting the bigger things. 

“Dad,” she asked Korrin, during one of her visits back home, “when you and Mom were expecting me, when did you start getting the bigger stuff? Do you still have my old crib?”

Since she’d cut back on her trips out of Zephra, since she’d moved back into her own place, Keyleth had been making it a weekly occurrence to see her father, either at his place or hers. He wanted to be kept up to date with the progress of his grandchildren, and as much as she needed to move out of her childhood home...she did miss seeing her dad regularly. And she needed him now.

Korrin sighed, frowning in thought as he ran a hand through his hair. “Well...your mother was very excited, when we realized we were having you. She wanted to get everything ready as soon as possible. We’d been trying for so long, and when it seemed like you were sticking around…” He shook his head. “Sorry. That’s not really important, is it?”

Her smile was awkward as she nodded for him to continue. It was always weird, to think of her parents having a life before her, and of the number of disappointments that they’d faced together before they’d had her. It wasn’t something that came up much, and it always made her feel...inadequate, when it did. Like she had all the expectations and hopes of those lost children put on her. But as he’d said, it wasn’t really important, not now. “It’s okay, Dad. If you want to talk about it…”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s in the past. But yes, as soon as it was clear you weren’t going anywhere, your mother went and crafted your crib. She went out onto the cliffs, by those trees you like so much, picked a beautiful one...cherrywood, I believe, she was always better with those things than me, and she druidcrafted your crib right out of it. Carved in little flowers and birds, turned the roots into rocking plates…”

His smile was faraway and sad, lost in memories of happier times that were out of reach for both of them. She could vaguely remember the crib. It was fuzzy, but she could almost call back the creaking of the wood, the way it felt under her hand. The way it looked when she made little green shoots spark up along the edge...the look of surprise and pride on her mother’s face as she saw the life springing out of the dead wood. It was one of the few memories she had of her mom, before she left. She wondered if her father was thinking of the same thing. Green shoots and dead wood, a toddler and a woman gone before her time.

“Do...you still have it?” she asked, breaking the silence. “The crib. I know I did some magic on it when I was little, but I don’t think that did any damage to it?”

Korrin shook his head. “When you outgrew it, we put it away, in case we got lucky a second time and gave you a little sibling. And when your mother left...I gave it to somebody else who needed it more. Gods, it's been years since I’ve had reason to think about it. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful, Keyleth.”

It wasn’t really that important, that specific crib. It would have been nice, to give her twins something that their grandmother had made, but it couldn’t be helped. Just hearing about her mother, how excited she’d been and what she’d made in the face of so many disappointments, in spite of the odds...between that and the continued good news out of Whitestone, it made it clear to Keyleth that it was time. She couldn’t put off making her babies cribs any longer.

If things had been different, maybe she’d have asked the Sun Tree for an extra branch, or the sapling she’d planted along the cliff would be stronger and able to sacrifice a little extra...making the cribs from them would have been symbolic, would have felt right. But, like many other things in her pregnancy, she was making things up as she went along. There were other trees, stronger and older that could take a pruning. 

Maybe the tree that her mother had used for her crib was still there, or one of its children. 

It wasn’t difficult in the end, picking a suitable tree. A smaller cherry tree, a few limbs damaged from the winds...it wasn’t hard to take them down and bring them back to her house. Making space for them...that was a little harder. 

Since she’d moved back into her own home, one of the things she had been doing was rearranging things. Even if she didn’t want to get the big furniture immediately, it would have been foolish to have cleaned the house up and left everything else the same. What was the point of putting away her old life if she wasn’t going to do anything for her new one?

No, it didn’t make sense, delaying parts of her preparations while plowing ahead with others. But then again, nothing about this did, and it had been months, so it had been time to make space for the new arrivals. 

The cribs would be in her room. One on each side of the room, her bed in the middle, slightly up, so she could see both of them at the same time. She wanted her children close, where she could keep an eye on them and be assured that they were safe and sound, that no...unwanted visitors could get to them. 

She’d made the space for the cribs, but she hadn’t quite accounted for how big the branches would  _ actually _ be.

“Maybe I should have gotten one branch…” Keyleth frowned, looking at the mess she’d made of her room. The two hunks of wood sandwiched her bed, one of them lying partially on the sheets, drying leaves scattered on the floor. It was hard to picture them as cribs, let alone two of them. She didn’t even know what she wanted them to look like!

“Cribs...cribs...what makes a good crib…”

Something strong. Steady. Secure. High walls with bars just the right spaces apart, not too easy to squeeze through...her crib had rocked, she remembered that. Did all cribs do that? Would that help her babies sleep easy, or would it just rile them up? She should have talked to Nell...she had four children, she’d know better than Keyleth what made a good sleeping space. She sighed, resting her hand on her stomach. It was still mostly flat, but she could just make out the beginnings of a curve there. Slight though it was, it was there. They were there.

“If I get this wrong,” she said, glancing down, “you’re both allowed to be annoyed with me. I’ll try to fix it, but I’m just as clueless about what you want as you are right now!”

There was no answer, no sign of movement. It was probably still too early, though she was a little disappointed that there was no shifting or fluttering under her hand. It would have been nice to feel them there...certainly would have made her feel a bit less like she was talking to herself. 

“Well. No time like the present, I suppose.”

She started with the branch on her left, placing a hand on it and closing her eyes. She tried to picture the crib in her mind, what she wanted it to look like, what would work with the wood she’d gotten. Druidcrafting could only take her material so far, so she had to be precise with her casting. She tried to call up the foggy memories of the crib her mother made. What had she felt, when she was working on that crib, when there was hope after so much disappointment. She must have felt like Keyleth felt now. Excited, scared, hopeful...afraid of making a mistake, afraid of getting her hopes too high even though they were already skyhigh…

Her mother had been here once, feeling exactly the way Keyleth felt, doing exactly what she was doing right now.

Slowly, the crib started to take form, the wood opening up as her magic worked its way through it. Bars and rocking plates took shape, small carvings of snowdrops interspersed with feathers lining the edge. It wasn’t perfect, the carvings were a bit small and hard to make out, but the crib itself was sturdy and solid and secure. It was well made, and as she opened her eyes to take in her work, Keyleth could almost see one of her children resting in it.

It was a beautiful image. It felt...it felt right.

“Okay,” she whispered to herself, wiping at one of her eyes with a small smile. “Okay, that’s...one down, one to go.”

The second crib took form much like the first, the wood giving way into a crib that looked much like its twin. It wasn’t identical, the carvings a bit larger and clearer on the second one, but it was close enough. She could see both of them now, both of her children sleeping in their cribs. She could see herself lying on her bed between them, rocking them both gently, singing them to sleep.

Keyleth couldn’t stop smiling. All the fears and negative feelings were still there, and she didn’t think they’d go away until the babies were here in her arms and she knew they were safe and healthy, but now,  _ now _ she could imagine that day. There was more work to be done, more things she would need to get the house ready, but this...this was a good start.

“Okay,” she whispered again. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay with this one, real life stuff happened.
> 
> As mentioned last time, I've got one chapter saved up before I'm caught up to where I am in writing this, so this fic is going on a mini hiatus while I try to build up a chapter backlog. This felt like a good place to leave off for now. Thank ya'll for understanding, and I'll try to keep my butt in gear and keep writing!


	14. 11.

There was something wrong with Keyleth’s magic.

She wasn’t sure exactly _what_ was wrong with it, but it was like her magic was...disagreeing with her. Rebelling, like it had a will of its own and was fighting against her attempts to use or manipulate it.  
  


It had started some time after she’d made the cribs, after she’d worked on getting the rest of her necessary furniture together. She hadn’t noticed it at first. Part of her spending most of her time at home meant that she wasn’t casting as much as she did during her adventuring days (Gods, it was weird to think of adventuring as being something of the past, when she still had her greatest adventure ahead of her). No large amounts of treestriding, no turning friends to clouds of mist, no Minxie...nothing that would immediately clue her into something being off.  
  


Yes, when she’d been tending her garden with bits of druidcrafting, there seemed to be more weeds popping up than usual. And, yes, when she tried to talk to the Sun Tree’s sproutling to make sure that it was doing okay, all she heard was a loud buzzing noise...but maybe she’d just cast it wrong! Or maybe the tree was too young to communicate properly, all it could do was vibrate its roots to express itself. She’d never really talked to a newly transplanted branch before, so she didn’t really know what to expect.  
  


These were minor things, in her mind. Things that could be easily explained away by her not paying attention, or her mind wandering while she was casting. She’d had a lot of things on her mind, after all, it was perfectly reasonable for her to make dandelions when she was aiming for peppers. They were both edible, it wasn’t _that_ weird.  
  


After all, why would she think about magical mishaps when the twins had started to move?  
  


It wasn’t much, and it wasn’t consistent, but every so often, she’d feel...something. It was hard to describe what it was, but it felt like something inside her was shifting. Feeling out the world around it (them? She didn’t know which one it was).The first time Keyleth felt them move, she’d been in the middle of a council meeting, discussing plans to meet with the council and the Heart of the Tides to continue their work reworking their part of the Aramenté. It had been so subtle, she hadn't noticed it at first, but when it happened again, the shifting feeling had been almost...insistent. She’d paused mid-sentence, blinking in surprise. It happened again, almost feeling like a light kicking feeling, unusual but not unpleasant. She’d turned to Derrig, who’d been standing behind her (she really, _really_ wished that the council wouldn’t make him follow her around), eyes wide, before giving him a wide, confused smile. He seemed to understand immediately, helping her to make her excuses and get her out of there to celebrate properly.  
  


Since then, the movements had been inconsistent but growing stronger, strange still but growing more familiar. And, in a way, every odd feeling in her stomach that came when the twins moved around was a relief to her. She still didn’t know for sure how far along she was (Healer Anwen thought she was around five months, but the unusual circumstances left an exact timeframe up in the air), but regardless of where she was, she thought she would have been...bigger, somehow. There was a bump, yes, there was no way to deny that she was pregnant, but it just _felt_ small to her, like she could probably still find a way to creatively hide it. Derrig and Nell had told her by this point in Nell’s first pregnancy, she’d been much larger...but she’d been having triplets, so that could have been it. She truly didn’t know what to expect, and as long as the healer said everything looked normal, and as long as her children were moving, then she would just try not to worry.  
  


She still worried, of course, but she was _trying_ not to.  
  


So, she’d had more on her mind than bits of strangeness with her magic. It just didn’t seem like something she needed to worry about, when there were other, more obvious things to worry about.  
  


It wasn’t until one of her classes with the younger druids that she started to realize something was very wrong.   
  


The classes were part of her normal routine at this point, and something she had come to enjoy. They’d been a good way to get her more comfortable with the care and supervision of children, and after a few...awkward classes, she’d realized that she actually _liked_ teaching the children of the tribe. Watching their attempts at wild shaping and druidcasting, having a hand in guiding them through the things that had come so naturally to her as a girl...it was almost _fun._

  
Vax would have been so proud to see how far she’d come. Keyleth knew she certainly was.

  
It had been a class on wild shapes, something that she’d been working with the kids on for a while. They’d started moving beyond smaller animals and a few of her students were starting to take on slightly larger animals. A few of them were still struggling to do more than mice or squirrels, and she’d been working with them, trying to explain how to make yourself feel like a cat or a dog. Not something that was easy to explain at the best of times. So, she’d planned a few simple demonstrations, quick shifts into a chipmunk or a robin and back. Things she’d done hundreds of times before, things that seemed second nature when compared to some of the forms she’d taken over the years. Things that she was sure wouldn’t be affected by her current condition, not if she kept the transformation short and small and didn't actually _do_ anything while in animal form. Keyleth had even practiced a little before her class, changing into a squirrel and back with no trouble whatsoever. 

So it was a shock to everyone, _especially_ her, when her attempt to shift into a chipmunk somehow resulted in her turning into a strange, oddly colored and poorly formed version of Minxie.

What was worse was how the transformation had felt. Every time she’d turned into Minxie, it had been something she’d done voluntarily. She’d always been in control of herself, she’d still _been_ herself. This? This was like something foreign had taken control, yanking her away and forcing the transformation to sabertooth tiger, clumsily shifting her spell halfway between the change from woman to chipmunk and forcing her into the tiger. There was no control on her part, no thought or action that she did that could have caused the spell to go wrong.

It was like she was watching it happen, trapped in her body and unable to stop it.

It only lasted for an instant, and just as quickly as the change had happened, she found herself back in her own skin, on her hands and knees, gasping for breath and trying to figure out what just _happened_.

She was vaguely aware that she wasn’t alone, her students starting to surround her, their words of concern not really registering as she tried to come back to herself.

“I...uh…,” she blinked, her breathing evening out as she looked at the worried faces of her students, “...class dismissed.”

Things only seemed to go downhill from there. While she didn’t try to wildshape again, afraid of what she’d turn into, her other spells started acting up, too. Simple spells that Keyleth normally had no problem casting started to backfire, if they even cast at all. She started druidcrafting in her sleep, waking up to find vines sprouting out of the floor and leafy twigs growing out of the newly made cribs. It started to get to the point where she was afraid to try more than the simplest cantrip, worried that if something went haywire, the consequences would be disastrous. All those miscast spells, all those little things that could be easily explained away, suddenly looked very different. Dandelions instead of peppers now seemed like a warning that she’d ignored, too wrapped up in finally, _finally_ starting to feel comfortable with her situation, finally starting to feel less worried and more secure. And this could only be related to the twins, couldn’t it? Everything had been fine until they started to move. Part of her wondered if this was them, if they were like her, reaching out into the world with magic of their own that was, somehow, interfering with hers...but she didn’t know for sure, and in some way, not knowing what was happening, if this was normal, if her children were still alright, was the worst part.  
  


Healer Anwen had no words of advice or guidance to give, and was just as baffled as Keyleth. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything quite like this,” she’d told Keyleth after she went to get some answers after what she’d started to mentally refer to as the Minxie Incident. “And while I’m no cleric, I’ve been in this line of work for a long time. I’ve seen plenty of strange things, but this? This is new to me, I’m sorry to say.”  
  


“Do you think it has to do with anything I did while traveling with Vox Machina?” Keyleth had asked, wringing her hands and trying to think of what she could have done that could have caused this. They’d done quite a bit of planeshifting, to say nothing of the trips to the Hells and beyond the Divine Gate...but that had all happened either before or after conception (though she couldn’t be completely sure of that).   
  


“Hmmm...it’s certainly possible, though given the rough time frame we’re working off of, it’s unlikely. I don’t think we can rule it out, but I suspect it’s something else.”

  
The answer brought her no comfort, but Keyleth nodded nonetheless. “And you’ve never seen this before? At all?”  
  


Anwen hummed. “Well, at least nothing _specifically_ like this. I...wait…” She trailed off, frowning as she quickly got up, moving to a nearby shelf while Keyleth watched, uncertain as to what the healer was thinking. They were fairly isolated here in Zephra, true, so she’d been prepared for the healer to be unable to answer her questions. It wouldn’t have made the situation any _better_ , but at least it would have been predictable.

  
Anwen continued humming as she pulled out some books and papers, the look on her face unreadable, and Keyleth wondered if her situation being unique was better or worse. She gripped her hands together, trying to stop herself from fidgeting in her seat. If someone else did have these magical mishaps while pregnant...well, she wouldn’t be alone. There was something she could do about them, probably. But it could also be bad news. Her magic could be permanently affected, it could be hurting her children, and if the only information out there was of tragedy and pain...she wondered if it would be better to not know.

  
“Ah ha! Thought so.”  
  


Healer Anwen held up some papers in triumph, moving to sit across from Keyleth, thumbing through them as she did so. “I thought some of this sounded familiar! It’s not quite the same, but it’s close enough.” She pushed the papers forward into Keyleth’s lap, and one name stood out among the scrawled notes, the ink faded with time.  
  


_Vilya_.

  
“I only treated your mother during the last of her pregnancies, that is to say, when she was having you, so I’m not sure if this was something she’d dealt with before you. Vilya didn’t talk too much about those things when she was expecting you,” she said with a small smile. “But when she was pregnant with you, some of her spells...miscast. Nothing major, just little things, like what you were describing with the druidcrafting. We thought it might be innate druidic magic from the baby, that it--you--were reaching out the only way you could, and it was interfering with her magic. But that was _much_ later in her pregnancy, and that was the only time I’ve seen anything close to what you’re experiencing. And I’ve been doing this for a _long_ time, Tempest.”   
  


Keyleth nodded again, putting the notes aside and wringing her hands together. Well, it wasn’t bad news, and it was certainly _something_ , but the fact that they may have found a possible explanation brought her no comfort. The only person that may have known what she was going through was long gone, and those who remembered her mother’s experience couldn’t give her the answers she needed. There was something with her babies’ magic (and they _were_ magic, she could feel it, and that would be something worth celebrating later) that was interfering with her own, causing miscasts and magical backlashes like she’d never experienced before. If it was just that, well, it wouldn’t be _good_ , but it would at least be an answer. This…

  
“...When I’ve tried casting,” she said quietly, still rubbing her hands nervously, “it...it didn’t _feel_ like druid magic. It...I don’t know what it felt like, but it wasn’t like any spell I’ve cast before. It was...I don’t know, but it didn’t feel like another druid. I know that sounds stupid, but--”

  
“--But it could be the answer,” the healer concluded with a nod. “If it’s another form of magic causing the interference, that could explain why the miscasts are so frequent and so...unique.” Anwen gave what Keyleth assumed was supposed to be a reassuring smile, though it did nothing for her nerves. “Unfortunately, it’s also out of my area of expertise. I would recommend talking to somebody more versed in magical knowledge...luckily,” her smile grew, “you’ve got plenty of friends who can help you out, Tempest.”

  
Friends. Right. Considering that she was currently lying to her friends and keeping them all in the dark about her impending arrivals, it knocked the number of people she could talk to about this development down to…two. She could reach out to Allura; the Arcanist would certainly have access to information about this sort of thing, and she’d always been kind and willing to help members of Vox Machina in the past…

  
And that was the problem. Or part of it. Keyleth wasn’t exactly _close_ with Allura…oh, they got along, and she thought very highly of the Arcanist, but outside of their professional relationship on the council and their encounters during adventures, they’d never really communicated outside of Vox Machina business. To go to her for help with this would be awkward at best and, at worst, would raise questions about why she was going to Allura and not somebody she was closer with. And if Allura found out she hadn’t told the others…well, she didn’t know. It was stupid, irrational, paranoid, and she knew it, but what if Allura told the others? What if she told

_Vex_?

  
No. No, Allura wasn’t an option. Which left…

  
“I’m sorry, Healer Anwen,” Keyleth said as she stood up to leave. “Thank you for your help, but I think I need to go write a letter.”

  
At least Gilmore already knew about the babies. At least he already knew she hadn’t told the others, and didn’t seem to judge her too harshly for that decision (at least not that she could tell, he could be keeping it to himself, and gods know she wouldn’t blame him if he did). And he was a powerful, knowledgeable sorcerer with years of arcane experience both intellectual and practical. If anyone could help her, it was him.

  
Since she’d seen him all those months ago, they’d been in somewhat regular communication, mostly through letters (delivered by a series of increasingly smug looking ravens). She’d visited him once or twice after that first trip, before she started to show, before her magic started acting up and made treestriding a risk she wasn’t willing to take. Things had been awkward at first, their conversations stilted as they tried to find their footing together. Without the world threatening to end on a regular basis, without Vox Machina…without Vax…it wasn’t like they had much in common. But outside of her immediate family, he was the only one that knew about the twins. It was a strange bond to have with him, but in a way…it worked for them. The twins and her pregnancy had dominated those short, early exchanges, but it led to them starting to open up more. She talked about her tribe, life in Zephra, he talked about the shop and how things were in Emon…the letters became longer, more casual, more comfortable. The few visits became less tense, feeling more like seeing a beloved old friend than imposing on a benefactor. 

  
Of course, there was at least one thing they still hadn’t talked about, either in person or through letters, so…things were still a _bit_ awkward. Better, but awkward, as they avoided the dagger-throwing presently bird-shaped elephant in the room that still haunted them both.

  
But that wasn’t relevant to the situation at hand, she thought as she frowned, trying to figure out the right words to explain what was happening. They’d…they’d get to _that_ eventually, when things were a little less weird. She was sure of it. Right now, though, she had a letter to write, before things got even more out of hand.

\--- 

~~_Dear Gilmore_ ~~

~~_Hey, Gil!_  
  
~~

_Shaun,  
  
_

_I know I was supposed to come and visit you next week, but I need to make a slight change of plans._ ~~_I can’t treestride at the moment, and_ ~~ _I know it’s a little short notice...I’m really sorry!! Do you think you’d be able to come here to Zephra? I don’t know if you’ve ever been here before, and if you haven’t, well, now’s a good time to fix that mistake! I_ ~~_need to talk to you about something_ ~~ _wanted to show you the cribs in person, and there were a few things I wanted to talk to you about that I don’t think will work super well in letters.  
_

_I might as well try, though, so you’re not totally blindsided...I’ve been having some issues with my magic, and I was wondering if you might be able to_ _~~help~~ _ _give me some advice? I know we work in totally different schools, but you’re_ _~~one of~~ _ _the most talented sorcerer I know, and I trust you.  
  
_

_Again, sorry for the short notice, and sorry I can’t come to you! Tell Sherri I said hello, though?_   
  


_Your friend,_

_Keyleth_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, nearly five months later, we are back! I've not finished writing this yet, but I have three, maaaybe four chapters left, and I'm feeling confident about my ability to actually finish this bad boy, so I figured it was time to start posting again.
> 
> The next few chapters are gonna be long ones, since I couldn't figure out how best to break them up into more manageable chunks. I'll try to not put this back on hiatus again, because I am determined to finish this before this horrible horrible year ends.
> 
> So, uh. Welcome back!


	15. 12.

Zephra didn’t get many visitors. Though Keyleth had been working to increase communication between the Ashari tribes, it was still primarily limited to just that, letters and sending spells and plans for larger meetings that hadn’t happened yet. It wasn’t every day that somebody new came to Zephra, let alone a person with no association with the Ashari tribes, and those that did usually arrived by fairly traditional methods.

  
Those methods did  _ not _ include teleporting into the center of town with a loud bang and a flash of purple smoke.

  
But really, had Keyleth expected anything less of Glorious Gilmore, the consummate showman? 

  
When she’d written him asking for him to come visit to discuss things, she’d at least expected him to write back...give her time to plan, prepare, try to clean the house up a bit to prevent triggering any awkward conversations…

  
“Gilmore…,” she muttered to herself with a hint of fondness, running a hand across her face. Well, at least he’d arrived quickly. Quicker than she’d expected, actually, which was sort of a relief. The sooner she got some answers, the better she’d feel. And, if she was being honest, she did miss Gil. The visits had been few and far between, but they’d been nice.

  
She found him near the center of town, surrounded by a gaggle of wide eyed children and a few wary adults. She recognized Derrig and Nell’s children in the group, grinning and clapping as Gilmore, in his element, made dancing globes of light and shot off sparkles that took the shape of animals. Classic Gil. It was strange that she never thought about how well he did with kids before, but seeing him entertain his crowd of onlookers, his magic seemingly aimed at making the children happy, it was clear how good he was with them.

  
Well, she certainly picked the right person to tell. As if there was ever any doubt.

  
When Gilmore finally noticed that she’d joined the crowd of onlookers, his already jovial face lit up as he waved to her. “ _ Key _ leth! There you are, just the druid I’d come to see!”

  
“Hey, Gil,” she said with a small smile. “I gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting you to get here so quickly.”

  
“Teleportation spells, my dear,” he responded, waving his fingers and shooting off another burst of purple sparks. “They really do make the world  _ much  _ smaller.” He turned back to the crowd, winking at one of Derrig’s girls (she thought it might be Maeve, but they all looked so similar…) “Now, I’m afraid I need to go and speak with your Tempest for a bit. Magic business, you know,” he said with a nod. He turned to Keyleth, bowing slightly and offering a hand, winking at her, still the showman. “Shall we?”

  
She couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous, how insane this all was, as she took his hand and sighed dramatically. “Yeah...c’mon, let’s go back to my place, we can talk there.”

  
Once they were further away from the crowd, Gilmore dropped some of his persona, looking at her with concern. “Is everything alright? Your letter was just vague enough to be worrying.”

  
“I...well, I guess I am?”

  
“Keyleth, that’s not really an answer.”

  
She sighed, linking arms with him as she led him up towards home, still unsure of exactly how to tell him about her little mishaps, if he was the right person to tell, if this was a good idea.

  
“Well...let’s just get inside first, and I’ll try to explain things.”

  
\---

  
It didn’t occur to Keyleth how awkward it would be to take Gilmore to where she and Vax had lived together until he was actually there, doing his best to hide any discomfort as he sat at her (their) table.

  
“So. How are you, Keyleth, truly? You said you were having issues with your magic?”

  
She nodded, unsure of the best way to tell him exactly what was going on. “Yeah, it’s...I think the babies are doing something to interfere with my casting? I don’t really know how to describe it...lemme just show you.” She stepped back, wanting to put a little distance between them in case things went very wrong, and held out her hand. Closing her eyes, she held out her hand, palm up, and began to cast druidcraft.

  
The flower started to form in her hand like normal, a small blue bundle of forget-me-nots. For a brief moment, everything felt as it should when she did magic...and then something seemed to shift. The control of the spell was taken away from her, and while it didn’t exactly  _ hurt _ , it certainly wasn’t comfortable. Keyleth winced, cracking open an eye to watch what was happening. The blue flowers that had been taking shape in her hand shrivelled, and for a moment they seemed to almost bloom again, looking uncomfortably like snowdrops, before the petals seemed to expand, growing and curling in on themselves as they changed shape, changed  _ form _ , and before she could realize it, there was a small blue bundle of flaming light in her hand. Both eyes open now, she stared as the ball grew and shrank and multiplied before disappearing with a  _ pop _ , her concentration broken as the dancing lights faded from view. From his seat at the table, Gilmore watched intently, fingers steepled together, a slight frown on his face.

  
The magic gone, Keyleth pulled her hand back and sat at the table, trying not to fidget nervously. “Sometimes it’s things like that, sometimes it’s a lot more...I don’t know, abrupt and violent. I can’t wild shape anymore without something happening, I’m afraid to tree stride or communicate with plants, and it never feels like I’m doing druid magic? I know I am, I’ve never had trouble with these before, and the healer I’ve been seeing thinks it might have to do with the babies but she’s not sure, and I wasn’t sure who to ask about this, but you’re just so  _ magical _ and I thought maybe…” She trailed off, looking away to stare at a spot on the ceiling.

  
Gilmore nodded, expression unchanging, before he leaned back, a small smile forming on his face. “Keyleth, what do you know about runechildren?”

  
She blinked, shrugging. “Not much. I know you’re one, and that they’re uncommon, but that’s about it.”

  
“My mother is no caster, Keyleth, nor is my father. Neither of them have ever cast a spell, or woven magic out of thin air...they are completely ordinary people.” His smile grew and he leaned back in the chair, the wood of the floor creaking underneath them. “Well, that’s a bit inaccurate. There was a brief time when my mother did perform feats of magic...though it was not by her choice or her will. She’d be in the kitchen cooking when suddenly she’d have flames leap from her fingers, or walking with my father and her feet seemed to spring wings...random acts of magic beyond her control that lasted for, oh, I think three months? Maybe four?” Gilmore grinned and waved a finger, a similar looking ball of light forming in the air before he vanished it with a snap. “Once I’d been brought into the world, these little incidents stopped, and she never cast a spell again. Much to her relief, I’d say,” he chuckled.

  
She tried to make sense of his story. “So...the spells, that was you?”

  
“Indeed it was. Now, I don’t know if this sort of thing happens with all casters, but there is  _ certainly  _ precedent for powerful sorcerers to make their abilities known before birth. Of course, I can’t say for sure which of your children is acting up, or if they’re taking turns, but I believe some congratulations are in order. You, Keyleth, are going to be the proud parent of at least one sorcerer.”

  
Sorcerers. Her children, or at least one of them, were sorcerers. She tried to think of what she actually knew about sorcerers...well, Gilmore was one, for starters, and Tiberius had been one, but their magic was very different. Gilmore was a runechild...were her children going to be like him, or were they some other sort of sorcerer? Would she have to worry about them hunted and persecuted for the magic they wielded, would they need to live their lives in hiding, masking exactly what they did? And it didn’t answer everything, either, because her druid spells were still being controlled and taken away and manipulated by what she could have sworn was another druid...was that even possible? Was one of them a druid? Was one of them going to be like her, destined for a long and lonely life, only worse, because they’d have to watch their twin grow old and fade away, or--

  
“Keyleth? Keyleth, come back to me.”

  
She blinked, Gilmore’s soft, concerned voice cutting through the latest wave of nerves and questions. Shaking her head as if to force the bad thoughts out, Keyleth tried to give him a smile, though she wasn’t sure if it was successful (it certainly didn’t feel like a smile on her end).

  
“Sorry, Gil...it’s just a lot to take in. I guess I just sort of…”

  
“You started to think of all of the negative possibilities that this could mean,” he interrupted. “I know you, Keyleth. I know that you’ve got this nasty habit of finding a way to take news, good, bad, or otherwise, and spin it into the worst case scenario.” Leaning forward, he reached out to take her hand, giving it a quick, comforting squeeze. “The world is changing. Runechildren may not be common, but they aren’t sought after in quite the same way they were during the Age of Arcanum. Regardless of if your children are runechildren or another form of sorcerer, they will be protected by you, your tribe, your friends...and they’re going to have a very,  _ very _ good teacher when the time comes.”

  
She couldn’t help but laugh as she squeezed his hand. Gods, he knew her so well now. All the months of correspondence and friendship, all the shared history...he was the right person to tell. He understood her, understood her thoughts and fears and knew the best ways to break through them. He understood her in a way that her friends didn’t always seem to, in a way that only Vax had truly managed--

  
Gods, she wished he was here. She missed him, missed just knowing he was nearby, missed talking with him and waking up next to him and worrying about him, missed how much love he had to give…

  
If he’d never...if he’d never died, would Gilmore be here right now, telling her about sorcerers and their magic and halting her concerns in their tracks? Would they have gone to see him together to talk about this? Would there have been this undercurrent of...of  _ something _ between them that they never addressed?

  
“Shaun,” she said quietly, pulling her hand away from his. “What do you think Vax would have thought? About the babies being sorcerers?” Being like you, she thought, the words almost slipping out.

  
Gilmore stilled, his expression flickering slightly to the familiar pained, grieving look she could still find on herself most days. “I…,” he hesitated, trying to find the right words. “I would hope that Vax’ildan would take the news well. It’s certainly a surprise, but I don’t doubt that he’d be supportive. He certainly wouldn’t love the children less, that much I’m sure of. There isn’t a force in the world that would have stopped him from loving them.”

  
There was a heaviness in the room, the ghost of the man they’d both loved hanging over them like a shroud. It wasn’t something they talked about, Vax. Neither of them had closure there, not truly, and given their history...it just hadn’t felt right before, to talk about him with Gilmore. It didn’t make sense to her, now that she thought about it. Not when there was still so much to talk about.

  
“Do...do you think about him a lot?” Her voice was uncertain, feeling so much louder than it was.

  
“About Vax’ildan?” She nodded. Gilmore leaned back in the chair, sighing. “Every single day. If there were any among us who deserved to live a long, happy life, who deserved to stay here until they were old and grey…the fates are unkind, it seems.”

  
All she could do was nod in agreement. They were unkind, and cruel, and Vax deserved so much more than what life had given him. He’d deserved to be there, with both of them, talking about the babies, tossing name ideas out, laughing and smiling and living…

  
He deserved to be there with both of them. Together.

  
The idea hadn’t even occurred to her before. She’d been wrapped up in the newness of their relationship, trying to feel comfortable with the idea that somebody actually  _ loved  _ her, trying to figure out what she wanted...and there’d been dragons and destruction and chaos and there hadn’t been  _ time _ …

  
There had been time, afterwards, but it hadn’t even crossed her mind, they’d had that whole year together and she hadn’t even  _ considered _ \--

  
“You should have been with us,” she said, the words coming before the thoughts had finished forming. “You should have...he  _ loved _ you, Gil, I know he did, and he never stopped feeling bad about things, and you’ve always been so  _ nice _ to me even though, and, and it’s not that uncommon with the Ashari, I didn’t even think about it, we could have--you should…”

  
Gilmore was staring at her, wide-eyed and clearly confused. She trailed off, the wind suddenly out of her sails as fast as it had come, and she stared at the table, clasping her hands, trying to string the right words together.

  
“I mean...in the Ashari, it’s not always just two people in a relationship. There’s people who have two partners, some who have three...There was somebody I met during my Armenté to the Earth Ashari who lived with five other people. It’s not common, but it’s not unusual, nobody really blinks an eye at it, and I  _ like  _ you, Gil. You’ve always been a good friend, to Vox Machina, to me...if we’d had more time, I think maybe Vax would have realized that he didn’t have to choose. It doesn’t really matter now, I suppose,” she said, unable to keep the edge of grief from creeping into her voice, “but...things should have been different. Maybe if they’d been different, he’d still be here. I don’t know…”

  
Gilmore was still staring at her, his expression a mixture of confusion and something else Keyleth couldn’t quite place. He blinked, opening his mouth as if to say something, before closing it again, still silent, still staring. She could feel the heat rising in her face, the embarrassment setting in, and she went back to staring at the table, unable to look at Gilmore, unable to take his stare. This...this had been a bad idea. She hadn’t thought before speaking, she just blurted everything out, what even was the  _ point _ of talking about this when it didn’t change anything. Vax was still dead, he’d still chosen her, he’d still broken both their hearts.

  
“I--I’m sorry,” she murmured, glancing back up at Gilmore. “I shouldn’t have--I just...I didn’t think before saying anything, that was too much at once, I’m really sorry, Gilmore...we can just forget I said anything, if you want? This whole conversation, it never happened, we can just--just pretend---”

  
Gilmore held up a hand, silencing her. “I...Keyleth...I must admit, I am a  _ bit _ surprised by the turn this visit has taken. But…” He trailed off, lowering his hand to the table, fingers briefly brushing against hers. “When Vax’ildan told me he had to end our little flirtations, I won’t deny, it hurt. It hurt a great deal, but I could tell that it pained him to do it...he was never very good at masking his feelings,” he chuckled. “That there could ever be anything between us after that decision, it never occurred to me. I feel a bit foolish now...we never even talked about it, what happened, perhaps if we had…”

  
“He had so much love to give,” she nodded. “I don’t think it was possible for him to care for just one person. I  _ know _ he loved you, he never stopped...when the dragons attacked...the way he looked at you when we found you...there was no way he ever let those feelings go.” Looking back, there had been so many times they could have talked about things, there were so many ways she could have brought it up. “We should have talked about it,” she said, the grief edging back into her voice. “I don’t know how he would have felt, but we could have  _ talked _ , and...Gil, it’s not  _ fair, _ ” she sobbed as she finally broke, the stress and grief and hormones taking her over once again as she slumped forward, unable to stop the tears.

  
Gilmore pulled away quickly from the table, the chair squeaking hard against the wood, crossing the divide between them and pulling her into his arms. 

  
“I know, Keyleth,” he said, his voice thick, and she could  _ hear  _ them, the tears he was barely keeping back. “Life is not fair, the gods are not fair, Vax’ildan should be here with you--”  
  


“With us,” she whispered. He stiffened for just a moment, before nodding.  
  


“With us,” he agreed softly. “He deserved more time. We...we deserved more time. But life is not fair, and he’s...gone, and whatever there could have been, it doesn’t matter anymore.” He pulled back, and she could see how tired Gilmore looked, his eyes red, face wet. “But while we can’t ever have that, I will not let you go through this alone. When the time comes, I promise I will be there.”  
  


“You’d better be.” She snorted. “I want them to know their Uncle Shaun from day one, you know.” The look on Gilmore’s face was priceless, and she knew that however long she lived, she’d be unable to forget it. “What? Just because things didn’t work out the way they should have, it doesn’t mean you’re not family. You’re going to be more than just their very powerful and talented teacher.” In a better world, a fairer world, they wouldn’t need to have this conversation, but this was where they were now. Her children may never have a father, but she’d be damned if they didn’t have the uncle they deserved.  
  


“I…I must admit, that was one title I never expected to gain,” Gilmore chuckled, wiping at his eyes, the tears vanishing with a Prestidigitation spell. “But, for you, Keyleth? I will wear that title with pride. Uncle Shaun...it has a nice ring to it.” He repeated it a few times, each time the phrase ‘Uncle Shaun’ coming out stronger, his smile growing, and he looked...he looked glorious. Genuinely glorious. There was still so much they needed to talk about, now that she’d opened a door that there was no closing. But there would be time for that later. There would be time for many, many things later. For now...she had questions, about sorcerers and magic and a whole new world that she would get to explore with her children, with Gilmore--Shaun--as their guide.   
  


“Do you have to go back to Emon right away? I...I guess I’ve got some questions about what to expect, with sorcerers and stuff.” His smile was bright, and though she could still see the grief in his eyes, not quite hidden, not unlike hers, she already felt better. Lighter.   
  


“For you, Keyleth? I have all the time in the world.”


	16. 13.

Gilmore became a regular face in Zephra after that, his weekly visits becoming less of a novelty to people as time went on. It didn’t stop crowds of children from coming out and greeting him, though, and he seemed to welcome the opportunity to, as he put it, ‘practice being an uncle’. It was nice, seeing him interact with the children of Zephra, particularly after she introduced him to Derrig and Nell.

“I’m not sure I understand,” he’d said, when she presented Derrig to him as her friend and bodyguard. “You have a bodyguard.  _ You _ .”

Keyleth had nodded grimly, rolling her eyes. “The council insisted. I’ve tried telling them, over and over again, I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself, but…well, at least it’s Derrig. He’s not too bad.”

Derrig had gaped a little, putting a hand to his chest as if he’d been hurt, eyes twinkling with the familiar sarcastic mischief she’d come to rely on so much since coming home. “Why, Tempest, I’m hurt. After all this time, I thought I’d moved past ‘too bad’! Clearly, I’m not trying hard enough if I’m just ‘not too bad’ at being your very necessary and important bodyguard.”

She’d snorted, Gilmore had rolled his eyes, and a friendship was formed.

Between Derrig’s advice and Gilmore’s support, Keyleth was able to finally get a handle on the things she’d been putting off that she really needed to do before the babies arrived. Furniture was purchased and put into place, a birthing plan was made with the healer, and...well, there was one other big thing she was still working on.

Besides telling the rest of Vox Machina. That was still something she was working on.

Before, Keyleth had never really given much thought to names, or their importance. They were just...everyone had one. She didn’t ask questions as to why. It just sort of was. Now, though, she had to think of names for two people, and suddenly names weren’t ‘just’ names. They were big, important things, the item that gave her children identity, that made them  _ real _ . So, of course, she only had the vaguest ideas of what to go with.

She was at Derrig’s place, sitting with him and Gilmore, trying to get a handle on what to call her babies. No big deal, after all, this was just the first and largest identifier her children would have. No pressure.

“You could always go with a family name,” Derrig suggested. “It’s at least a place to start.”

Keyleth shrugged, glancing over at Gilmore, who gave her an encouraging nod. “I mean...I was thinking about Vilya, for a girl. That’s really the only one I know for sure I want to use. It feels like a good way to honor Mom, and I hope she’d like that. But that’s still just  _ one _ name.”

“You could name one of them after your father,” Derrig continued. “Korrin is a good, strong name, and I think your father would certainly appreciate the gesture.”

She shrugged again. Korrin had been something she’d thought about. She loved her father, and naming one of the children after him would be a nice way to honor him and all he’d done for her, but it just...it felt weird. Maybe it was because he was still alive, or maybe it was because he’d be interacting with them a lot, and it could get confusing. “I haven’t ruled it out,” she said eventually. “No offense to Dad, but I’m not really sold on it yet.”

“What about Vax’ildan’s family?” Gilmore asked, frowning a bit as she shook her head. “I’m not saying you should name him after Syldor, no child deserves that, but what about his mother?”

“I can’t. I don’t have a right to those names. Elaina, Velora...those are names Vex should use for her and Percy’s children. I can’t use any of them, not while I still haven’t told them about the twins.” She stared intently into her lap, trying to ignore the looks of sympathy that Derrig and Gilmore were giving her. It was true, she had no right to name her children after Vax’s mother, not when Vex was almost certainly naming her first daughter Elaina. It wasn’t fair to her, to take that name away from her. 

For a moment, the idea of naming one of her children Vex’ahlia crossed her mind. But...no. She couldn’t do that while she was still lying.

“Have you thought about how you’re going to tell them?” Gilmore asked, gently putting a hand on her shoulder, drawing her back out of her thoughts. “I understand why you haven’t so far, and I don’t fault you for doing what you felt was necessary, but at some point, it’s going to be difficult to hide this. You’ll need to tell them, for your sake.”

“I know…,” she muttered. “I just...Vex is having her baby soon, I can’t steal her thunder, and I can’t--If this goes wrong--”

“It has yet to go wrong, Keyleth. Your children are strong and healthy, as are you--”

“And that could change in an instant!” She stood up, shooting Gilmore a look. “Things are fine right now, and maybe they’ll stay fine, but you don’t know that! What if I got sick or ate something I shouldn’t, or tripped and fell off a cliff, or...or…or fell asleep one night and didn’t wake up! Things aren’t set, and until they’re in my arms and I know they’re here and they’re okay, I don’t…I cant.”

She shook her head, closing her eyes, the image of Vax walking into the darkness, the sight of him turning to ash before her eyes, his smile as he watched her waking up in the morning, all of them blurring together in her mind. No. Until she felt things were certain, she couldn’t say anything.

“Let’s...sorry. Let’s just talk about names again? Please?” 

Gilmore and Derrig were looking at her, and she hated the sympathy in their eyes for a moment before she sighed, sitting back down next to Gilmore, the fire burned out her for the moment. He patted her on the shoulder and without thinking, she leaned in to rest against him, head on his arm.

“We can talk about names again, Keyleth, of course,” Gilmore said, though something in the tone of his voice told her that this discussion was not over. Not that she was really surprised...the closer she got to her due date, the closer she got to having to tell the rest of the family, and she didn’t have anything remotely resembling a plan for how to do that yet. Lying to them for the rest of their lives wasn’t an option, but she just wanted to put off working out the details on how to explain to them why she lied about this for a long as possible.

It was easier, to think of names. Well, no, that was a lie, names were still hard...but at least they were hard in a different way, that didn’t eat at her soul and leave her feeling guilty every time she thought of her family and what they didn’t know. Names just made her feel sad and uncertain. That, she’d gotten used to feeling a long time ago.

“So family names are out,” Derrig said eventually, breaking the tension in the room. “Probably for the best. Nell and I thought about naming our kids after relatives, but we decided we’d rather have them be their own people instead of ‘little Uncle Webster’ or ‘Cousin Rosarie the second’.”

Keyleth laughed, trying and failing to picture what sweet little Will with the name Webster. “You don’t  _ really _ have an Uncle Webster, do you?”

“Nope! Nell  _ does  _ have a cousin named Rosarie, though, and she is a piece of work, but the point here was to make you smile, so as far as I’m concerned, I’ve done my job, Tempest.” He shot her a lazy grin. “But, really, there’s nothing wrong with taking inspiration from something completely different for names. You could look at plants or flowers, or think of things that were important to you or Vax...it doesn’t have to be family names you look at either. You’ve met a lot of people, made a lot of friends out there…”

He wasn’t wrong. Just because so many of the names that would have meant something to Vax were out of her reach didn’t mean that she was limited in what her children could be called. She just needed to be creative. She could do that!

The ideas were going to start pouring in. Aaaany second now…

That second seemed to stretch on for what felt like hours, the ideas failing to come to her, her mind a blank. With a groan, Keyleth placed her head in her hands. “Why is this so hard? This shouldn’t be so difficult, I know tons of plant names, one of them should work!” 

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to Gilmore’s reassuring smile. “It’s hard because it matters. Names can be changed, though. Nothing is set in stone yet, and whatever you come up with today, you aren’t required to use. When the time comes, you’ll know what feels right. This is just to try and make things easier when that time comes, and if it isn’t helping, then we can move on and discuss something else.”

_ I should name one of them after Gilmore _ , she thought, the idea coming to her naturally. That? That felt right. Throughout this whole thing he’d been nothing but kind and supportive, a good friend who was important to both her and Vax, the kind of person she would want her children to be like. How had she not considered that before? Had she been so wrapped up in worrying about why she couldn’t name them something that she forgot about the things that she could? 

Shaun...Shaun of the Air Ashari. Not Vessar, never Vessar, Vax would have hated it if his children had the same last name as his father, but just Shaun...Shaun worked. It was a good, strong name, it worked regardless of the baby’s sex, and it just...it felt  _ right _ . 

As if showing approval, she felt a sudden, sharp movement in her lower abdomen, letting out a small squawk of surprise. They’d been moving around for a while now, and the closer she got to the end of this, the more active the babies became, but it still never failed to surprise and fascinate her (and reassure her, but that went without saying).

Gilmore raised an eyebrow. “Are they giving you trouble again?”

“No...no, I just thought of something, that’s all, and I  _ think  _ the babies approve.”

“You gonna share with us?” Derrig asked with a smile, laughing when she shook her head. No, she’d keep this to herself for now. Gilmore...he’d find out when the rest of the world did, when her children decided to make their arrival.

“You want to feel? They’re pretty active all of a sudden,” she said, turning first to Derrig and then to Gilmore with a smile. “I think they know we’re talking about them.” It wasn’t the first time they’d moved around when she was talking about them, and the closer they got to their arrival, the more Keyleth was convinced that they knew what was happening. It didn’t alleviate her fears, but it helped, just a little, to reassure her that at least for now, they were alive and okay and here.

Gilmore hesitated for a moment, arm slightly outstretched, before he nodded, Keyleth taking his hand and guiding it to her stomach. The twins were still active, one of them giving a hearty kick in the general direction of Gilmore’s hand, Derrig giving a knowing smile and nodding. “When Nell was pregnant with the girls, anytime they moved, she got that look. And they moved a  _ lot _ , especially near the end...gave their mother no rest, I swear. They were troublemakers right from the start,” his smile turned fond, thinking about his daughters, “and we wouldn’t have it any other way. I think yours might be the same, Tempest.”

“Given who their parents are,” Gilmore said, voice unusually thick, “There is no doubt in my mind about that.” As he pulled away from Keyleth, she noticed his eyes were shining, the unshed tears standing in stark contrast with his bright grin. “You’re in for quite the adventure, Keyleth. You’re more than capable of rising to the challenge, of course.”

Yes, she thought, looking down at her stomach--at her children, at the future Shaun of the Air Ashari and their still unnamed sibling. Yes she was.

\--

“You know, I’m surprised you haven’t decided to name one of the babies after their father.”

They’d spent the rest of the afternoon with Derrig, talking about possible names for a while longer before the conversation turned (as it often did) to Derrig’s children. Keyleth had sat and listened to his stories about both his children and his own childhood, as he traded tales about scraped knees and childhood misadventures with Gilmore, who offered up stories about his own youth in Marquet. Every so often she’d interject with a childhood anecdote of her own, but she let them do most of the talking. They had both had more of a childhood than she did, after all.

Besides, it was nice to just listen. Keyleth knew that her children were going to have their own unique experiences, and that none of the stories her friends were telling would apply exactly to them, but some things seemed to be universal. Many children before hers had gone through them and come out okay, and so would hers. She hoped.

Eventually, Nell had returned home and Keyleth and Gilmore had departed. He was walking her home, as he did after every visit to Zephra, before he’d teleport back to Emon. It was a nice little routine they’d settled into. As she got closer to the end of this, Keyleth had learned to appreciate nice, mundane routines, where nothing unexpected happened. She knew that her days of things going a certain planned way were rapidly coming to an end. Best to enjoy them while they lasted.

Gilmore’s question, though it wasn’t unexpected, still threw her off slightly. She frowned. It felt like it was an obvious choice, to name one of the children after Vax. It would be a way to honor him and his memory, like what she was considering doing with her mother if one of the children was a girl, and given that he couldn’t be there, wouldn’t it just be another way of connecting her babies to their father?

It felt obvious...but it also didn’t feel right.

Vax...Vax had been so many things. He’d been a brother, a friend, a lover, a hero, a martyr, the chosen champion of a god. He’d been brave and foolhardy and reckless and noble and funny. He’d been clever and talented and beloved by so many people...he left behind so many lives that he’d touched, so many destinies he’d changed for the better. He had a legacy. And Keyleth knew how much a legacy could weigh on a person. She may not have had her mother’s name, but she grew up in the shadow of Vilya, of all she had been and all she could have done. All those expectations had passed to her, all the pressures of living up to a person who, in death, had transformed into a larger than life figure that loomed over every action, every decision, every mistake. It wasn’t intentional, of course. Keyleth never thought that her father or other members of the tribe went out of their way to compare her to her mother, to look at her and recall Vilya and find her wanting. But it still happened. And though she would do her best to protect her children from that, she knew, deep down, that it would happen to them, too.

No matter what she did, her children would bear the legacy of Vox Machina on their shoulders. They would grow into their own people, strong and capable and loved for who they were, but it wasn’t something they’d ever be able to escape. And more than just Vox Machina, they would bear the weight of Vax alone. A father taken from them before he could know them. A beloved brother, a good friend. A ghost who would always haunt his children. How could she add weight to her babies shoulders by naming one of them after him? No. Her children would be their own people, and while they might be named Vilya or Shaun or something else, those were stories they wouldn’t have to carry with them. Those were names they could take and make their own.

Besides. She had no right to name one of her children Vax, for the same reason she couldn’t name one of them Elaina: Vex had more right to that than she did.

Gilmore was still walking besides her, silently and patiently waiting for an answer. Keyleth shrugged, staring up at the sky. “I don’t know. I thought about it, but...they’re going to be their own people. I’m going to be reminded of Vax every time I see them, they don’t need to be named after him for me to remember him. And they don’t need the pressure of trying to live up to him.” He nodded, satisfied with her answer, a look of understanding coming over him. She was glad he got it...at this point, she’d hate to disappoint him.

“Hey, Shaun?”

“Hmm?”

“There was something I wanted to ask you,” she said. “In the Ashari, we have this concept that...well, I guess it’s sort of like godparents and godchildren? We don’t call it that, and it’s sort of an extension of the idea that the whole tribe has a hand in raising the children, but we choose a person that’s important to us to act as another parental figure, above the rest of the people who might help in raising them. Somebody we trust to guide and nurture them in the same way, to treat them like their own. A mentor parent, I guess, we don’t really have a special term for it. It’s not like a  _ super _ formal arrangement or anything, but I was wondering if--”

Gilmore put a hand on her shoulder, his smile wide and gentle, not even bothering to hide the tears in his eyes (gods, she really had to stop making him cry). “Keyleth, I would be honored. Thank you.”

She grinned. “There’s nobody else I’d rather want to be there for them, if anything happened. Besides, you’re already going to be their Uncle Shaun, might as well make things more official.” And it was true. She loved Vox Machina, they were her family, but because of her decision to keep this to herself, she just couldn’t see them being the first people she’d turn to if her children needed somebody. Maybe in the future, that’d be different, but even then, Gilmore had been there. He understood some things better than they ever would, and while she felt bad about what her subterfuge had cost her, it couldn’t be helped. 

“I still can’t get over that. Uncle Shaun...what a title,” he said with a chuckle. “Won’t be much longer until they arrive...are you ready?”

“Is anyone?”

“Fair point. Still, how are you feeling?” He asked the same question every week, and every week, it felt like her answer was the same.

“I’m getting there, Gil. Once they’re here...I think I’ll be better then.”

They parted ways at her door, with them promising to meet up again at the same time next week, Keyleth watching with a fond smile as Gilmore teleported off with his usual flair. She stood at the threshold for a bit, watching the clouds as they moved through the sky, tracking the movements of the ravens that were making their home in Zephra, until one of them, large and bright eyed, swooped down out of nowhere, landing on her shoulder with a fond caw. She gave the bird a fond smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes (not yet, though someday, maybe, it would), scritching its chin as she turned to enter the house with him.

“So, how do you feel about the name Shaun?”

The bird cawed happily, and she could hear the familiar echoes of Vax’s laugh in the sound.

“Yeah, me too. Shaun...Shaun and Vilya. I think that’ll work just fine.”

The raven nuzzled her face and she leaned into the touch, closing her eyes for a minute and letting herself pretend as she closed the door.

“I’m glad you agree.”


	17. 14.

_ The Lord and Lady of Whitestone are delighted to announce that _

_ Lady Vex’ahlia de Rolo, Baroness of the First House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt,  _

_ Has safely been delivered of a daughter, _

_ Lady Vesper Elaina de Rolo. _

_ Both mother and child are doing well. _

The announcement was formal, printed on beautiful paper and embossed with the crest of Whitestone, the image of the Sun Tree hanging behind the words, as if the tree itself was announcing the new arrival, another branch growing on a family that had come back from near obliteration.

The letter attached to it, however, was meant only for Keyleth.

She recognized Vex’s familiar handwriting, though her words weren’t as neatly written as they usually were...she was likely tired, Keyleth thought, the trials of a newborn baby taking its toll on different aspects of her sister’s life.

_ She’s finally here! We’ve named her after Percy’s older sister and my mother, and forgive me for being a bit biased, but she is the most beautiful, perfect creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. She hasn’t given us too much trouble yet, beyond the things one expects from a new baby (neither of us have slept much since she arrived and I’m afraid it’s starting to show) and Trinket adores her, as does her Aunt Cass. Percy swears she resembles his memories of Cassandra as a baby, but I don’t know if I can see it. She’s still so young, after all, and I think she resembles Velora quite a bit. You’ll need to come by and tell us what you think! _

_ Now, I know you’ve been busy with your duties and work, and I can understand you not visiting because of it. Truthfully, I’ve just been glad to hear from you at all. I hope you’re doing alright in Zephra...sometimes it’s hard to tell from your letters how you’re holding up. You seem okay, and I imagine keeping busy helps you as much as it does me, but I admit, it would ease my mind quite a bit to see you in person. Especially now...you promised me you’d be Auntie Kiki, and I know Vesper is dying to meet you! _

_ Keyleth, please come by and visit. We all miss you, you need to meet Vesper, and there’s so many things to catch up on that won’t fit into letters. You’re always welcome at Whitestone. _

_ I hope to see you soon! _

_ Love, _ _   
_ _ Vex. _

Keyleth read the letter again, her grip on the parchment tightening a little bit. A daughter. Vex and Percy had a little girl, and the love that Vex held for her was clear even in her brief letter. And she wanted Keyleth to come and meet her. Of course she did. Keyleth had promised she would, and in the wake of so many lies and broken promises, this was one she didn’t want to back out on. And she  _ wanted _ to meet Vesper! She wanted to meet her new niece, see for her own eyes that she was healthy and happy, see the joy on Vex and Percy’s face at this new piece of their family, the living symbol of survival and regrowth for Whitestone and for them.

It was just going to be...difficult, to keep hiding her own pregnancy from them.

It felt like it had taken forever for her to finally start showing. Her bump had seemed so much smaller than she’d expected it to, and it only seemed to really become noticeable within the last month or so. Though given that she’d heard all of Nell’s stories, maybe her expectations were set a bit high as to when things would show...funny, the difference one extra baby made. Maybe she had been right on track as far as showing, and she just didn’t know it. Maybe if she’d told Vex from the beginning, she and Percy, both of whom had experience with twins, could have told her what was normal as far as visible growth. But that couldn’t be helped. She’d made her choice to keep them out of this, and she’d have to live with that. All doubts and regrets aside, she wasn’t going to miss visiting Whitestone and meeting Vesper. She just...needed to work out the logistics, that’s all!

For starters, there was the very obvious baby bump she was going to need to hide. If she got creative with how she wore the Tempest mantle, maybe dressed in layers, she might be able to do enough to draw attention away from that or minimize it or something. Difficult, but not impossible. Slightly more difficult would be actually getting to Whitestone. With her magic still acting up, she wasn’t exactly... _ comfortable  _ with her regular methods of transportation. While the mishaps were less scary, now that she knew what was causing them, she didn’t want to risk trying to get to Whitestone and somehow ending up in Vasselheim or Emon, or getting stuck in a tree, or something along those lines.

So it was a good thing that Gilmore was willing to let her side-teleport along with him when he went to go and pay his respects to the Lord and Lady of Whitestone and the newest de Rolo. He had come to Zephra to get the both of them ready for the trip, to calm her nerves and ensure that her secret was still safe. He’d taken one look at her attempts to conceal her condition, the awkward way she’d wrapped her mantle around her and the mismatched layers of armor she’d put on underneath it, sighed, and started casting a disguise spell on her. Better safe than sorry, he’d said. “Besides,” he smiled as he waved his hands, the magic taking effect with a flash of purple sparks, “you only get to meet your new niece for the first time once, why not make the moment special?”

And special he did make it. The spell hid her condition completely, and he’d managed to add an extra sparkle of sorts to her mantle, shine up her antlers...it was all an illusion, she knew, all being done for practicality’s sake, but he went out of his way to make her feel special anyway. She didn’t deserve his friendship, she really didn’t.

“Now,” Gilmore said, waving his hands and casting prestidigitation, spiffing up his own purple robes, “The plan is that we teleport into town, take in a little of the celebratory atmosphere, visit the new family for a bit, and…”

“Gil, I can’t tell them now, Vex  _ just _ had her baby, I can’t steal her thunder!”

Gilmore just sighed. “Keyleth, I know you’re scared to tell them about the babies, but you will need to tell them eventually. They’re your family. You can’t hide from them forever.”

“I know that,” she muttered, not meeting his eyes as she played with the hem of her robe, trying to see if it would be obvious to anyone touching her that she was hiding something. “I just...I don’t even know  _ how  _ to tell them at this point, Gil. There’s no good way to do this, I’ve waited too long for it to be anything but awkward, they’re going to be mad about the lying…there wasn’t a way to ever make this good news, I guess.” She trailed off, running her hand along her stomach, feeling her children move underneath her touch, sighing. “It was too close to Vax’s death at first, and then it was too close to Vex’s pregnancy, and I was too scared something would happen, and then things  _ did _ happen, and I  _ know _ I’m making excuses, I know I have to tell them…”

Gilmore put a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe it would help if we came up with a plan. You don’t have to do this today, as I think you’re right, Vex would be  _ slightly _ put off about the timing,” she snorted and he rolled his eyes fondly. “But I believe a plan of action would help. It will give you some time to think about what to say to them all, and if you want, we could practice what you’ll say as well.”

She’d thought about trying to plan out telling Vox Machina once or twice. It had just been nebulous ideas, though, nothing concrete, each rough plan falling apart when she tried to build it up, but Gilmore’s idea had merit. And if she practiced, she couldn’t thwart herself by getting nervous and tripping over her own words. Keyleth nodded, grabbing onto his free hand. “I want to tell Vex first, and Percy. These are their nieces or nephews, and they’re the ones I’ve hurt most by keeping quiet.” Gilmore frowned and looked like he might argue with her, but she shook her head, stopping him. “It’s true, Gilmore, I’ve taken away important moments from them by not telling them, and I know it. But what’s done is done, and the least I can do is tell them first when I start to come clean.”

“Fair enough. We can work on things from there once we get back from Whitestone, if you’d like.”

“I would. Thanks, Gil. So, uh, how exactly does this teleport work? I’ve never done it without a tree or circle before.”

Gilmore’s eyes twinkled and his grin grew, taking on the aspects of the glorious magic user he presented to his customers. “ _ Really _ ? Well, then I shall try to make this a smooth journey for you! You, Keyleth, don’t need to do a thing, just hold onto my hand--oh, and take a deep breath. This may feel a bit strange.”

She was about to ask what he meant by ‘strange’, but before she could, his grip on her shoulder tightened, there was a slight smell of ozone in the air, and with a  _ crack _ , they were gone.

It had been years since Keyleth had teleported. Once she’d learned how to treestride, there really hadn’t been any need for it, and besides, none of them actually  _ knew  _ the spell, once Tiberius had left them. She’d forgotten how disorienting it was, to suddenly find yourself in a different place, the rush of magic and the way it felt like your body was being  _ pulled _ at high speed from one point to the next. Between that, her nerves, and the newness of teleporting while pregnant, it wasn’t a surprise that, once she and Gilmore were on solid ground outside of Whitestone, she stumbled away, dropped to her knees, and threw up.

She  _ really  _ needed to stop doing that in front of him. It wasn’t a good look. Once was forgivable, but twice? It was a good thing Gilmore was as kind and understanding as he was, or he might take it the wrong way.

Gilmore’s laugh eased her nerves a bit as he leaned down, offering her a hand and helping her to her feet. “Apologies, Keyleth. I forgot that teleportation can be a bit...jarring. Particularly to one who doesn’t use it often. Are you alright?”

She nodded, watching as he prestidigitationed away any remaining mess, though she wasn’t sure how necessary that was with the magical disguise still up. “I’m fine. Better I do that here than in Whitestone proper, I guess...sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for, dear. Shall we?” He offered her his arm, which she took with a nervous smile and a quick nod, trying to remember to take deep breaths. This was going to be fine. This was just Vex and Percy and their new baby. Nothing to be nervous about. Gilmore had taken care of everything, it was going to be  _ fine _ .

The atmosphere in Whitestone could only be described as jubilant, reminding her greatly of the festive nature brought about by Winter’s Crest. There were colorful banners, music, people in the streets chattering happily...the whole town seemed to be in celebration of the de Rolo’s new arrival. And, given the history of the town, it made sense. After everything they’d all lost and suffered, Vesper wasn’t simply the child of their lord and lady, nor was she even simply a new baby. She was a symbol, the living representation of Whitestone’s rebirth and a sign of how the citystate had not only survived the Briarwoods, but were now thriving.

It was a lot of pressure to put on one little girl, though it was probably unintentional, Keyleth thought. Still, she felt a pang of sympathy for Vesper. They were kindred spirits, in a way. Maybe that would make it easier, meeting her and seeing her parents for the first time in months.

Kynan was on guard at the castle when they arrived, and when he saw them coming, he waved them down with a bright smile. He looked so much like the young man he’d been when they’d first met him outside of Greyskull Keep, so long ago, before Ripley. Vax would have loved to see how far he’d come now...she quickly pushed that thought far away. She wasn’t going to let today be dominated by thoughts of what ifs and could have beens and might bes. This was a happy day, and she was going to do her best to enjoy it, dammit. 

“Keyleth! Lady Vex’ahlia said you were coming, though she wasn’t sure exactly when, so I thought I should keep watch, meet you when you arrived,” he said, smiling and giving Gilmore a nod of acknowledgement. “It’s good to see you again. And you too, Mister Gilmore. How are things?”

Gilmore took the lead, clapping Kynan on the shoulder and launching into a conversation about the state of things in Emon. Sometimes, she forgot that they knew each other, that Gilmore had made many connections to the people of Whitestone during the Conclave. But, he was the sort of person that cultivated friendships everywhere, so she wasn’t really surprised that he knew Kynan. Every so often, she’d interject with questions and comments of her own, asking him about the Riflemen, if there were any new recruits, how Jarret was (given time off to visit family in Marquet, though he was scheduled to come back soon), what else he’d been up to in his time...Gilmore asked him at one point if he’d managed to have a proper conversation with Cassandra yet, and  _ that _ was a surprise to Keyleth. Still, it was rather cute, the way that Kynan stuttered and looked away, his ears going red as he avoided the question.

“So,” Keyleth asked, “How is Vex doing? She didn’t give much away in her letter, though, maybe it was me reading too much into things, she seemed tired? Is she doing alright?”

Kynan sighed. “Well, I guess a new baby is a lot of work. Vesper likes to sleep at odd hours, if she sleeps at all, and the lord and lady prefer to take care of her themselves whenever possible, so neither of them is sleeping much.”

“That’s not unusual for Percival, though,” Gilmore pointed out. “If I recall, odd hours were rather his forte.”

Kynan snorted. “They still are, though for entirely different reasons. But even so, it’s quite a change.”

“And...and Vesper,” Keyleth asked. “How is she? What’s she like?”

“Why don’t you take a look and see for yourself?”

Keyleth blinked in surprise as she turned to see Pike, smiling and waving at her from across the hall, heading for her and Gilmore. Oh, gods, Pike was here. Did...did that mean the rest of Vox Machina was here too? She hadn’t seen any of them in so long...it had been months since she’d seen Pike, and the last time she’d seen the gnome, she’d been convinced Pike had figured out she was hiding something. Pike was always perceptive like that, and lying to her felt wrong. Well, lying to all of them felt wrong, but Pike was a  _ cleric _ . Even though Keyleth wasn’t religious, it still felt bad, lying to a cleric, especially one who knew her so well.

Still, she was happy to see her, and the smile that broke out on her face at the sight of her was real. “Pike!! Vex didn’t say you were gonna be here!” She leaned down and pulled her into a quick hug (doing her best to hide her stomach and keep the hug short). “It’s been ages, how are you?”

“I’m doing well! We’ve been staying with Vex and Percy for a little bit, making sure everyone is doing alright, and I’d been meaning to check in with the Sarenrae temple here anyway...but yeah, I’m fine, we’re all fine! What about you? It’s been months, how are you? How have things been in Zephra?” Pike nodded at Gilmore, holding out a hand to pull him into a hug. “It’s good to see you again too, Gilmore, how are things? Did you and Keyleth come together?”

“Pike, it’s always a pleasure,” Gilmore returned the quick embrace before subtly helping Keyleth back to her feet. “Keyleth and I happened to arrive at the same time and we decided to make the walk over together.” The lie was quick, smooth, and technically true.

“Zephra is fine,” Keyleth shrugged. “Things have been busy...I know I said I’d stay in touch, but between the council and reaching out to the other tribes, and the teaching--oh! Did I tell you they've got me teaching some of the kids magic?”

“You, teaching kids? Now  _ that _ is something I’d pay to see,” came a familiar voice she hadn’t heard in months.

“Scanlan, come on, don’t tease Keyleth,” Pike sighed, rolling her eyes a little, the edge of her lips twitching upward slightly.

Gods, they really  _ were _ all here.

Scanlan Shorthalt looked unchanged since she’d last seen him, when they all departed Pandemonium and finally,  _ finally _ had a break from the chaos and conflict that had consumed them since his return to Whitestone. If anything, he almost looked better. Or, if not better, then happier, more settled. His smile was wide and bright, with just a slight hint of showmanship behind it, as he strode down the hall to meet them, wrapping an arm around Pike, who rolled her eyes again fondly as he pecked her on the cheek. So... _ that _ , apparently, was a thing now. How long had  _ that _ been happening for? How many more major moments had she missed during her self imposed isolation?

Well, at least they both looked happy. It was a marked change from every other time Scanlan had flirted with Pike, and while Keyleth was sad to have missed whatever brought  _ this _ about, it couldn’t be helped. This was the price she paid for lying to her family, and she would just have to live with the knowledge that, even after they knew the truth, there were some things that she wouldn’t be able to get back. As if sensing her trepidation, one of the babies shifted and moved, giving her a quick, sharp kick, and she hoped that she managed to hide her brief wince of pain well, because that one  _ hurt _ . 

“Scanlan Shorthalt!” Gilmore’s voice boomed as he leaned down and pulled the gnomes into another bear hug, Pike laughing at the surprised squeak that Scanlan made. “It has been an age, how are you!”

“Gilmore! Wasn’t expecting to see you here, how the hell are you! How’s business? Haven’t seen you around Westruun lately, but it  _ is _ a big city…you been in Emon mostly, then?”

The two of them launched into conversation, discussing Emon and Westruun, business and pleasure, Scanlan bragging about Kaylie’s acceptance into the Lyceum and how much she was looking forward to ‘showing all of those trust fund kids what  _ real _ magic is’. Keyleth and Pike interjected every so often, or tried to, but it seemed like Gilmore and Scanlan were engrossed in catching up...which was a bit of a surprise to her, though upon reflection, it made sense. Gilmore was fond of Scanlan. He was fond of all of them, and when was the last time he’d spoken with any of them outside of Keyleth? When was the last time he got to talk business and magic with somebody who  _ got _ it?

Pike glanced over at her and gave her a quick shrug, mouthing ‘sorry’ silently as she gestured at Scanlan, who at some point had switched to speaking in Marquesian. Keyleth gave her an apologetic grin and shook her head, glancing back at Gilmore (who, for his part, either appeared impressed with Scanlan’s fluency, amused by his accent, or both). He deserved this. He deserved to go out and see friends and have a good time without having to worry, either about her or anything else. His magic was still holding, the illusion was good, and she didn’t think that Pike had felt anything out of the ordinary when they’d hugged...which was good, because if  _ anyone _ was going to figure it out on touch alone, it’d be Pike.

“Where’s Vex? Is Grog with her?” she asked, waving a hand down the hall past Gil and Scanlan.

“Vex? She and Percy are in the library with the baby.” At the mention of Grog, Pike’s eyes softened and she smiled, placing a hand on her cheek. “Grog’s actually with Velora. He said he wanted to practice holding a baby on something bigger than a baby, so he doesn’t break it. And Velora volunteered...I think they’re out in the garden if you wanna say hi. You should see Vex first, though,” she gave Keyleth an uncomfortably knowing look. “She’s been worried about you, more than she’s willing to admit, I think. We’ve all been keeping busy...which is good, I think, and I know you’ve been keeping busy, but...well, we miss you. You left so suddenly after Pandemonium and I haven’t seen you since before the baby arrived.  _ I  _ miss you.” Pike’s face was open, honest, and the look in her eyes, the sympathy, it ate away at Keyleth, twisted into her gut as sure as any knife would. For a moment, there was silence between them, Pike gesturing for her to follow her down the hall, to let Gilmore and Scanlan have their moment, and Keyleth let herself be led away, staring at her feet, the words trying and failing to form in her head.

“I should have written more,” she eventually said, twisting her hands together, unable to look Pike in the eye. “I know I said I’d write Vex and Percy, but I probably didn’t write them enough, and I should have written you and Scanlan and Grog--I wasn’t sure if you were in Vasselheim or Westruun though, and that’s a bad excuse, I should have kept in touch more--”

A gentle hand placed on her knee pulled her out of her spiral of excuses and guilt. Pike was just...looking at her. 

“I miss him too,” she said quietly. 

Keyleth wished it was as simple as just missing Vax. But it was far more than that, and the only reason it was so complicated was because she made it so. Still, better to let Pike think that was all there was to it. Better to just wordlessly nod, staring at the floor, to not think about the deception that was soon to come to an end. Pike patted her knee again and Keyleth knelt down to hug the gnome, blinking rapidly. When Pike pulled away, Keyleth could tell she’d been doing the same, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

“I should probably go back and rescue Gilmore from Scanlan,” she gestured back down the hall. “I wanted to tell you, by the way, I’ve been working on something--it’s not very good, and I wanted to try and get it done before the baby arrived,” Keyleth felt a momentary spike of panic before she realized Pike meant Vex and Percy’s baby, of course she did, what else could she mean, “but it turns out that woodworking takes time? Especially when you’re not a druid!” She chuckled a little. “Anyway, let me know when you and Vex have a moment. Doesn’t have to be today, but just let me know. I have something I wanna show you two.” 

“That’s not ominous at all, Pike,” Keyleth raised an eyebrow as she stood back up, adjusting herself and checking to see if the magic was still holding. Pike snorted.

“I want it to be a surprise. But I guess anything can sound ominous if you’re vague enough, and--” A crash from down the hall, followed by the smell of ozone and magic, caught both their attention. Pike sighed. “Boys. Honestly. You leave them alone for five minutes...I’ll go break them up and send Gil your way.” She turned to go back down the hall, towards the sound of another crackle and booming laughter (was that Grog? Gods, it had been so long, Keyleth had almost forgotten how loud his laugh could be) before pausing. “Oh, and Keyleth? My offer from before still stands. If you need to talk about anything, or have anything you want to tell me, just let me know? I’m here for you.”

The look Pike was giving her was hard for her to read. There was something about her eyes, about the way she was looking at Keyleth, that she couldn’t place. It felt...perceptive. Knowing. But there was no judgement behind it, no accusations or negativity. Just understanding. Keyleth gave what she hoped was a convincing smile and nodded, watching Pike walk back down the hall and out of sight before letting out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. For the first time in a while, she was alone. Silently, she started walking down the halls of Whitestone, letting her memory both guide her and take her away.

She wasn’t sure why, but as she walked through the castle, running a hand along the cool stone walls, she thought of the first nights she and Vax spent together. The first night she’d slept with him had been in Greyskull Keep, and it had been just that, sleeping. It was after the dragons, when all was chaos and destruction and fear, and though both of them were terrified and unsure of what was going to happen next, they’d each found one another to be an anchor, keeping them steady and sure.

“I was thinking about leaving,” he’d said to her then, voice barely above a whisper, his forehead resting against hers, eyes closed as they lay together. “Before...well, before the shit hit. Seems stupid now, really.” She’d said nothing, just squeezing his arm and encouraging him to continue. “I dunno. I just...after Whitestone, after everything, I didn’t feel like I fit anymore. And I know that I said I’d wait for you, and I would have no matter where I was, but...I needed space, I guess. I needed...I dunno, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

She had squeezed his arm again and gently bumped their noses together. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

They hadn’t said much after that, just taking comfort in each other’s physical presence, and after that night she’d started to spend more time with Vax. His room and her room slowly became their rooms, then just their room, shared in Whitestone and in Scanlan’s mansion. 

Their first time together had been in Whitestone. It had been awkward, her unsure of what she wanted and what she needed to do; him, knowing more and trying to help her figure out what she liked, both of them apologizing a lot as they fumbled through things together. There hadn’t been much talking, once they finally figured things out, and on the whole the overall experience was less pleasurable than the rest of the nights that followed. 

Somehow, that didn’t much matter; it was still one of the best nights of her life.

Her nights were so different now. Her bed still felt too big, even after months sleeping alone, her nights frequently interrupted by the aches and pains that came with pregnancy. Vex had probably gone through the same. It wasn’t hard for her thoughts to go from then to now, from awkward groping to her waiting to meet her new niece. Vax’s new niece. He would have been over the moons about being an uncle. He would have been a thorn in Vex’s side during her entire pregnancy, he’d have suggested the dumbest names and gotten the baby the most inappropriate presents (she could hear Vex yelling at him, telling him a dagger set was a terrible gift for a newborn)...he’d have sobbed, holding his new niece. Vex would have teased him, telling him it was his turn next and he’d better watch out because  _ his _ children were getting tiny bows and arrows whether he and Keyleth liked it or not…

Keyleth stopped, leaning against the cool stone wall, breathing heavily as she shoved the pictures in her mind far away.  _ No _ . She was done letting her mind linger on these what-ifs and these stolen possibilities.

The facts were these: Vax was dead, Vex had a baby, Keyleth was pregnant and lying to her family about it. That was it. 

There wasn’t any point in thinking of anything else, not when all it did was make her sad and angry. She couldn’t stop her thoughts from going there, but she wasn’t going to follow where they led, not anymore. 

Closing her eyes, Keyleth focused on her breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling until everything felt steady and even, and the stinging in her eyes had passed. The image of Vax holding his niece, holding their children, lingered a bit longer, before she pushed it away. She was going to meet her niece and hold her for the both of them, and that was that.

She just wished her brain and her heart would  _ cooperate _ for once. She was so tired of this. Tired of the grief, of swinging back and forth between fear and guilt and sorrow, tired of the lies she couldn’t figure out how to get out of, tired of feeling too much...

There was a sound, not far down the hall from her, that pulled her mind and feelings away from their latest battle of attrition. It was soft, and something about it made her want to get closer. As she did, she realized what it was.

Singing. And she knew the voice very well.

Percival de Rolo was singing, presumably to his daughter.

“I didn’t know Percy could sing,” she whispered to herself, unable to stop the wonder from creeping into her voice. It wasn’t a song she recognized, nor was it a language she understood (Celestial? He spoke Celestial, she remembered that), but from the tone of his voice and the gentle melody, she felt she could safely assume it was some sort of lullaby. 

She stood there, just outside the doorframe, listening to Percy sing, noting the soft steady tone of his voice, wondering what exactly it was he was using to calm Vesper down. Did she know any lullabies? Her mother used to sing to her, but she didn’t remember it very well, and when she’d asked her father about it, he’d chuckled and said that Vilya’s voice had never really worked when it came to putting her to sleep. Keyleth wasn’t sure if hers was any better. Maybe once she’d told the others, she’d have to needle Percy or Scanlan into visiting to sing her children to sleep.

“There you go, my love, that’s it…,” Percy hummed, his voice still having a slight musical tone to it. “That’s a good girl…”

“Well done, darling. Do you want me to take her for a bit?” Vex sounded amused and impressed by whatever calamity Percy had averted through song. There was a bit of a pause before he responded.

“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’d like to hold her for a little bit longer.”

Vex chuckled. “If you’re sure. I don’t want your arms to get tired,” and she sounded so happy, teasing Percy, Keyleth had missed so much by staying away, and it was hitting her like a ton of bricks how much she’d  _ missed _ her sister.

“You carried her for nine months, my light. I think my arms and I can handle a few hours or so.”

She was never going to go in there at this rate. Was her timing inconvenient and a little on the dramatic side? Maybe a little bit...Gilmore was rubbing off on her, it seemed. With a small sigh, she ran a hand through her hair, adjusted her antlers, put on a smile, and walked into the library.

“How about me? Can I hold her for a bit?” she asked, trying to keep the volume of her voice down as she entered the room. Percy was standing near a window, a bundle held protectively in his arms as he turned towards her, though he relaxed slightly once their eyes met. Vex was in a chair to the right of him, and if Percy looked tired, Keyleth thought, Vex looked completely exhausted. Maybe that had to do with Percy having more experience pulling all nighters, though. Both of them looked like there was maybe one decent night’s sleep between the two of them, their eyes shadowed by dark bags, their hair mussy and their appearance generally less polished than the Percy and Vex she was familiar with. Vex in particular was dressed surprisingly casually, no armor or fancy clothes, her top loose and unbuttoned, an unusual lack of feathers in her hair.

Keyleth thought they’d never looked better. Parenthood suited them in a way she still wasn’t sure it would for her.

In spite of the exhaustion, Vex’s eyes lit up when Keyleth entered the room, and she pulled herself out of the chair, crossing the distance between them and clapping her on the shoulder. “Keyleth, darling, you made it. I’d hug you,” she laughed softly, gesturing to her chest, “but I’m afraid I’m a bit leaky at the moment, and I’d hate to make things awkward.”

They were always going to be awkward, Keyleth thought, as she leaned in to give Vex a quick hug anyway, mindful of her middle, glad the spell was still in place. “What’s a few stains between family? I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner...they’ve got me teaching in Zephra, you know, and some of the kids…well, kids and magic is an... _ unpredictable _ combination.” That was true, at least. At least she wasn’t the one getting stuck in strange animal forms at the moment.

Vex nodded in understanding, though there was a partially masked look of concern behind her tired smile, and Keyleth knew the interrogation was about to begin. “That’s got to be an adjustment...you mentioned it in your last letter, when was that, a month or so ago? How’s that been going? No, no, how are  _ you?  _ Really? It’s been ages, Keyleth…” She laughed again, quietly, and it sounded hollow. “I know you’ve been busy, and I know...well, I can understand why you’d probably rather be anywhere but here, but…,” she glanced back to Percy and Vesper, who had stirred in her father’s arms, taking his attention away from them, “I was hoping you’d be the first one to see her, not one of the last.”

Gods, and that  _ hurt _ . She knew it would, knew there was no way that her absence hadn’t hurt Vex, but actually hearing it in her sister’s voice...all she could do was wrap her arms around themselves, gripping her elbows tightly, and mumble an apology. She couldn’t explain it, not yet, not now, and any of her other excuses felt hollow and insufficient when faced with the truth: she’d let Vex down.

“I...I’m sorry, Vex. It’s just been--”

“Busy, I know,” Vex responded, a slight edge to her voice. “And I understand that, I really do, I know that you’ve got a lot to do...you’re leading your tribe, you’re working with the other Ashari, and I can imagine that Whitestone is the  _ last _ place you’d want to be, given everything, but…,” her voice cracked, “I’ve missed you, Keyleth. Things have been hard, they’ve been getting better but they’ve been  _ hard _ , and I’ve had Percy and Cassandra and Velora, and now Vesper, and I know you’ve got your father and your people, you haven’t been alone, but I thought...I thought we’d be able to miss him together, you know?” Vex looked away, back at Percy, who’d walked back over, Vesper still secure in his arms as she leaned on his shoulder. “Is it me? Is it because I look like him? Because darling, I won’t be offended if that’s the case, sometimes I look in the mirror and I just see him, and I forget for a moment--” Vex cut herself off, closing her eyes tightly and taking a deep breath, ignoring the concern on Percy’s face and the guilt and sorrow Keyleth knew she was probably giving off. “I’m sorry. I told myself I wouldn’t make today an unhappy one, it’s not fair to Vesper.”

“Vex, I--,” she stopped, frowning and digging her nails into her elbows more. She couldn’t tell her the whole truth, not yet, but...but she deserved more than just excuses. She deserved the truth, or at least part of it. “I...I didn’t want to upset  _ you _ by hanging around here too much.”

Before she’d learned about the twins, before she’d started lying and hiding and hoping for something that was impossible but was happening anyway, she’d decided to stay away from Whitestone, at least for a little while. She and Vex would need each other, but when their grief was at its rawest…Vex had Percy, and she had Velora, and maybe, at least in this, she’d have her father. Keyleth wouldn’t be able to support her so much as weigh her down, her own pain another weight for her sister to carry around when she didn’t need that. And then she’d found out about the babies, and all her plans had gone out the window, each new plan she tried to make falling apart before she could do anything, until all she was left with was her decision to hide in Zephra. Back to where she’d started and where she’d planned to stay, ironically enough.

Vex looked at her, confused, and she sighed and continued. “You and Percy were starting your lives together. You didn’t need me moping around Whitestone and making it harder for you to rebuild. And I couldn’t avoid Zephra and my duties forever, even if I wanted to. I’m sorry, Vex, I really am, I should have tried to visit more, or write more, or both, or...I dunno.” She shrugged and gave her a tired smile. “I’m trying to figure out who I am now, without---away from Vox Machina. And you two...look at you!” She gestured at them, looking at their infant daughter, unable to keep the affection out of her voice. “You have a beautiful little girl! You didn’t need me being sad around you when you’ve got her!”

Vex frowned. “Keyleth, that’s not true, you--”

“Would you like to hold her?”

Whatever Vex was about to say was lost as she turned to Percy, who was looking at Keyleth with a measure of understanding. Of course. If anyone would understand not wanting their demons to weigh down their loved ones, it was Percy. 

Vex and Percy seemed to have a silent conversation between them, Vesper stirring again in her father’s arms as he passed her gently to her mother, who nodded and looked back at Keyleth, the momentary dissent between them put aside for now. There was a ghost of a smile on her lips as she approached Keyleth, Vesper in her arms like she was the most precious thing in the world (and to Vex, she was, there was no doubt about that).

“We can talk about all that another time,” Vex whispered. “Because I think we have a lot we need to discuss, at some point...but right now, you need to meet your niece. Keyleth, this is Vesper Elaina de Rolo.” At the sound of her name, Vesper shifted, yawning and waking up in her mother’s arms, blinking large blue eyes as she took in the stranger staring down at her.

Keyleth smiled, almost shyly, at the baby, looking at her and trying to figure out who she looked more like. She was so young, and so  _ small _ ...the ears were definitely Vex, and Derrig had told her all newborns had blue eyes, so they could settle into a different color, but right now they looked so much like Percy’s that it was startling. There was a small tuft of dark hair on her head, but that could have come from either of them. She looked more like her own person than either of her parents, really, she thought, as she gave a small wave to Vesper, who hadn’t stopped staring at her. Did all babies stare? Was that something she was going to need to look out for? She’d never asked Derrig that...though, on a baby, it was more cute than disconcerting, so maybe it wasn’t an issue.

“Hi, Vesper,” she softly whispered, “I’m your Auntie Kiki. It’s really nice to meet you.” She glanced back up at Vex. “Surprised you kept her name so short, honestly.”

“We thought we’d start small,” Percy piped up.

“Didn’t want to burden her with too much,” Vex added. “But we’ve got a lot of names we need to use...the rest of the children are going to have to take after Percy there, I’m afraid.”

“You’re already planning for more?”

“Well, Percy came from a large family, and you know what my family was like,” she shrugged. “I don’t want Vesper to grow up alone.”

Keyleth wondered if Vex had been disappointed or relieved that Vesper hadn’t been a twin. If that would have been too much too soon. It wasn’t something she thought about with hers, but she’d never had somebody like Vax by her side since day one.

Pushing that thought aside, she wiggled a finger in front of the baby, who blinked and scrunched her nose up in concentration before grabbing it. She had quite a grip for one so small, and Keyleth’s small smile grew. “So, how do I hold her?”

Percy stepped forward, clearly an expert, watching and instructing as Vex moved to pass Vesper to her. “So, you want to support her head--yes, just like that, that’s perfect, and your other hand goes on her bottom, like that...try to keep her close to your chest for now.” He nodded and smiled brightly, looking happier than Keyleth had ever seen him before. “You’re a natural, Keyleth, well done.”

It was unlike anything she’d ever done before, holding a baby. She’d held children before, and small animals, other little things that needed care and protection, but this...Vesper was so small, so fragile and important and precious, and holding her, looking down at her little face as the little girl yawned again, settling against her chest...it felt like everything was suddenly okay, just for a moment. It was right, and natural, and she had to blink a few times as she felt the tears coming.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for the birth,” she glanced back over at Vex, who’s eyes were also wet with poorly hidden tears. “I really am. There’s just been so much happening, and I was afraid I’d be a wreck and ruin everything…”

“You’re here now,” Vex nodded, wiping her eyes quickly. “That’s what matters. And she likes you.”

“I like her too,” she laughed softly, looking back down at her niece, who seemed to be fascinated with her own tiny little fist. “She’s perfect, Vex, Percy.”

She’d be doing this with her own children soon enough. Vex would get to meet them soon, and she’d get to hold her nieces or nephews while Keyleth watched on like a hawk, and they’d laugh and cry like this again...and thinking about that, it gave her hope, that even with the lying and the hiding, everything would work out okay in the end. They deserved that, after all, after everything.

“Percy, do you want her back, or can I hold her for a little longer?”

Percy hummed and pretended to think for a second, stroking his chin. “Well...it is almost naptime, but I suppose a few more minutes with Auntie Kiki can’t hurt. Vex?”

“They’ve got to make up for lost time,” Vex agreed. “I say she can hold her until she falls back to sleep, and then you take her, and we all go and find where Velora dragged Grog off to. Agreed?”

“A solid plan, my light.”

“Thank you, darling. Keyleth, any objections?”

She shook her head. “None whatsoever. It’ll be good to catch up on lost time, like you said...oh! Gilmore is here with me, I forgot to tell you!”

Vex looked a bit surprised at that. “Gilmore, really! I didn’t know you two came together! We sent out a letter announcing Vesper’s birth to him as well, I would have thought he’d have come on his own. How did that happen?”

“We’ve been talking a lot lately. I went and visited him in Emon on...well, on a low day,” she admitted, skirting around the specifics, “and we had some things in common we bonded over.”

Vex was quiet as she nodded, her eyes sad once again. “I knew you two were happy together, but the way that Vax flirted with Gil, I’d always thought…”

“We talked about it,” Keyleth nodded. “We should have talked about it before. We should have done a lot of things before, but...it was good to clear the air. We’ve been writing a lot since then, and coming together just sort of...happened.”

“Where is he now? Vesper is going to love him, and I’d like it if she got to meet her glorious Uncle Gil before she went down for her nap.”

Keyleth snorted. He was going to be Uncle Gil to a lot of little ones, it seemed. “We ran into Scanlan on the way up and they went off to do gods knows what.”

They went on like that for a bit, discussing everything and nothing, Vesper determined to stay awake for as long as possible before eventually nodding off in Keyleth’s arms. It was a strange feeling, the emptiness she felt as she passed her back to Percy, and the longing to hold onto the little girl a few moments longer. 

Eventually, they met up with the others, the reunion with the rest of Vox Machina slightly less awkward (mostly due to Grog’s exuberance and Pike’s generally calming demeanor), and the rest of the visit was spent catching up. Scanlan mostly bragged about Kaylie, Grog mostly bragged about his winning streak at the Crucible, everyone ate and drank a little too much, and for a little while, it felt like old times. Or as close to old times as they were ever going to get, now. It was odd, how she felt Vax’s absence so much more when she was surrounded by the rest of the family. She wondered if they felt it too. They had to. There was an empty chair at their table, set like the rest of them, though nobody dared to sit in it, and every so often, one of their group would glance over at it, or get a faraway look in their eyes. Like if they could all will it so, they could at least feel like Vax was still there.

Would that they could.

They all lost track of time, save for Gilmore, it seemed, who remembered to tap Keyleth on the shoulder and surreptitiously recast the disguise spell every few hours. By the time they all started to depart, it was dark out, and Vesper had woken up twice more, demanding food and attention in the only way a baby could. Scanlan made a comment about how he’d dodged a bullet, meeting Kaylie when he did, Pike elbowed him and said his time would come, and everybody laughed as he paled and babbled, only relaxing when Pike smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“Oh!” Vex exclaimed, stopping the procession out of the castle. “Before I forget. Percy and I, we’ve decided to have another wedding!”

“A destination wedding,” Percy added, nodding and adjusting his glasses. “Really, it’s more of an excuse for a vacation, but since our first wedding was on the small side--”

“We’re going  _ all  _ out this time,” Vex concluded. “You’re all getting proper invitations in the mail, but we haven’t picked an exact date yet. We’re thinking sometime within the next few months or so, though, so Vesper is a little bigger and ready to travel. We’re going back to Dalen’s Closet, and I expect  _ no _ shenanigans this time,” she said pointedly, though it fell a little flat in Keyleth’s mind, the perpetrators of said previous shenanigans not being there, one of them never going to be there to stir things up again. Everyone seemed to pick up on that, growing silent for a moment, before Percy broke the tension, though by that point, Keyleth’s mind had started to wander, the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind.

She’d tell them after the wedding. By that point, her twins would be here, she’d be able to hold them in her arms and know that they were safe and sound and, for now, far out of the Raven Queen’s grasp. Percy and Vex would be married again, their daughter would be able to travel, so maybe she could use the first meeting of little cousins as a way to smooth over the months of deceit. She couldn’t wait much longer to tell them, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity, though it was still a rough idea in her mind, and she’d need to work out the specifics. Depending on  _ when _ they decided to have their wedding, she might be stuck, unable to leave them, or worse, having to bring them with her. Somehow, she thought that either of those paths were going to end very poorly. 

Gods, they were getting  _ married _ . Again, she had to remind herself, they were already married, but still, a big fancy wedding on the beach...it suited them. She was looking at her family, a smile on her face, as they discussed some of the specifics they’d worked out so far, Percy coughing and adjusting his glasses, face bright red, reacting to something Vex must have said, as she laughed and pecked him on the cheek. They were so  _ happy _ together, their lives starting to take shape, all the broken pieces fitting together into something new and beautiful. She wanted to be jealous. She had been jealous before, and maybe there was a part of her that still was, but watching them, all she could feel was peace. She was happy for them, and more importantly, she wasn’t worried about them in the way she was before. Vex would always miss Vax, as they all would, but she wasn’t alone. She had something new, something good that had come out of all the bad in her life, and Vex was the consummate survivor. And Percy...the darkness that had haunted him for so long...it wasn’t there anymore. All she could see was light.

She couldn’t wait to tell them, even though she was still afraid of their reactions. It was going to be bad, she knew, all the months of hiding wouldn’t be easily smoothed over, but...but she finally felt like maybe everything would be okay, in the end.

After all, what were surprise nieces or nephews, when compared to the stress of planning a wedding while managing a newborn?

Keyleth felt a tap on her shoulder, the now familiar feeling of Gilmore’s magic washing over her as he renewed the spell. He gave her a smile, gesturing towards the road, the moons hanging brightly in the sky. Gods, when had it gotten so late? She knew it had gotten dark, but how long had they all been standing there, talking about wedding plans? Well, it didn’t matter. Gilmore may have reupped the spell, and it had certainly been good to spend time with all of her family, but she was looking forward to being at home, with no illusions to hide behind, and no reason to hide. She nodded at him, mouthing a silent thank you before waving and saying her goodbyes to the other members of Vox Machina, congratulating Vex and Percy once again, genuinely excited to see them next at their wedding. They walked with Scanlan, Pike, and Grog for a bit, splitting off from them when they made a beeline for the tavern.

“Thank you again.” They were alone now, walking around and beyond the Sun Tree, heading towards the edge of the Parchwood. “I don’t know how much magic you must have used to maintain that all day...you must be exhausted! Really, Gil, I don’t say this enough, but you’re the best.”

He laughed and waved her off, though he couldn’t quite mask the exhaustion at the edge of his eyes. “Think nothing of it, Keyleth, my dear. You needed to see them all, and I was more than happy to help.”

“Did you and Scanlan have fun?” she teased, grinning as he blushed a little, giving nothing else away. “Fine, then, keep your secrets. I’m glad you were here. Gods, they’re parents now, can you believe it?”

Gilmore nodded, offering his arm to her. “It suits them both well. And Vesper is a dear child. Yours will be too, you know. Have you given more thought on how to tell them?”

“After the wedding. I’m telling them after the wedding.” She took his arm, holding tight as the smell of magic and petrichor lingered in the air, taking a deep breath as, with another sharp  _ crack _ , they were gone.

Once back in Zephra (she didn’t throw up this time, thank the gods), he dispelled the magic that had been hiding her bump, Keyleth finally relaxing as he did so. It was good, not having to hide, and while she’d been able to feel the babies moving, while she’d logically known they were still there, it was nice to actually be able to see them. She put a hand on her stomach, giving it a gentle pat, relieved when she was met with a gentle thumping feeling.

“There we are,” Gilmore nodded in approval. “So, after the wedding then?”

“Yup. I don’t know if they’re doing a honeymoon yet or not, but I want to tell them before that if I can...maybe bring them back here to meet the twins, have Vesper meet them...I know it’s gonna be awkward no matter what I do, but maybe that’ll help smooth things over?”

It seemed unlikely, and while Gilmore gave her an encouraging nod, she could tell he wasn’t convinced it would work as well as she thought it would...and she wasn’t sure how well it would work. “If you’d like me to be there for that, Keyleth, I’ll do what I can to help.”

“You really are the best, Shaun. Thank you.”

Keyleth slept poorly that night, unable to get comfortable lying on her back, the twins particularly active after a day of relative quiet. She found herself getting up multiple times, pacing back and forth in an attempt to settle them, though she doubted that it did any good. In a way, this was for the best, she thought. After all, once they arrived, many of her nights would be sleepless. Soon, she’d be doing this with them in her arms, walking back and forth in her room, trying to sooth them and get them to sleep. Maybe her efforts would be more successful then. As things were now, all she managed to do was, eventually, wear herself down to the point where she felt she could, once again, try to get some rest.

Her dreams that night did little to help her there. They weren’t bad, per say…but they were portents portent feeling. She was in Zephra, the village thriving under her care, and then she was by the cliffs, watching the branches of the trees as they blew in the wind, everything silent save for the rustling of leaves. One tree in particular caught her attention. It was familiar, though when she’d last checked on its progress, it wasn’t nearly as large as it appeared now. She could feel the magic emanating from it, not that different from the vibes she got from its parent. Large and strong, with dark leaves that reminded her of feathers, the Raven Tree of Zephra stood before her in all its glory. Quietly, she stepped forward, putting a hand on the trunk and closing her eyes, letting the magic of the world strum under her fingers. For a moment, she was tempted to cast speak with plants, to see what the Raven Tree would say. She wondered if it would sound like the Sun Tree, or if the feather embedded in its trunk would give it a different, more familiar voice.

She didn’t know what she’d do, if the tree sounded like Vax. 

Before Keyleth could cast her spell, a noise from above drew her attention. As she opened her eyes and stepped back, she looked up and saw two ravens looking down at her. Though they appeared small, she could tell just by looking at them that they were still larger than most of the ravens that flocked to Zephra, and that they were closer in appearance to one particular raven, though their coloring was slightly different...one of them looked like they could have had red feathers, but that was silly. Ravens don’t have red feathers. They stared down at her, one of them cocking its head slightly, and looking at them, she was seized by the urge to climb up there, to hold them in her arms and bring them down. They were too small, too young to be on their own up there, too young to try and fly yet!

One of them, the one cocking its head, had familiar bright grey eyes. The other, which let out a soft caw, had green eyes, the same eyes she saw whenever she looked in a mirror. Heart pounding, Keyleth reached out towards them, watching with a mixture of fear and pride as they ruffled their feathers and took off, joining another large, painfully familiar bird in flight. She tried to join them, tried to change herself to a raven, a magpie, a sparrow,  _ anything _ that could let her fly and follow them, but found she was unable to, and as she reached out again, crying out for them to come back…

She woke up.

Groaning, Keyleth sat up, rubbing at her eyes and glancing towards the window, noting it was still dark out. As her eyes readjusted to the darkness, she rested a hand on her stomach.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “They’re okay, they’re still here, everything is fine.”

And yet, she couldn’t shake the unease she felt, the image of those two little birds sitting on that branch, the feeling that, very soon, things were going to change yet again.


	18. 15.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: This chapter contains descriptions of childbirth, though nothing in extreme detail.

She was by the Raven Tree when it started.

Ever since her dream, Keyleth had taken a little time out of each day to go and sit on the cliffs by the little sapling, checking on its growth and progress. She knew, logically, that it took a long time for trees to grow, and it would be a very long time before the Raven Tree reached the size it was in her dream, there was something comforting about going and being with it every day, making notes of the little changes she saw. The feather she’d embedded in the trunk was still visible, and likely would be for some time, but already there was bark growing around it, sealing it in place.  
  


She was tempted to try and speak with the sapling, still curious to hear what it sounded like, but she was still concerned about any magical complications, especially this late in the pregnancy. Besides, the last time she’d tried to talk to the sprout, it wasn’t really capable of talking yet. She wasn’t actually sure when plants gained that ability, if they were like humans and elves and the like and needed to grow into it, when they did...she wondered if other druids had ever taken notes about that sort of thing.  
  


It was easier to think about minor, silly things, like when plants learn to talk, then it was to think about the impending big event. Keyleth didn’t want to admit it, but...well, she was scared. There was still so much that could happen, so many things that could go in a completely different direction than she’s expecting, and she’s not sure what to expect. Nell had done her best to explain what she needed to look for, how she would know that things had started. 

  
“You’ll probably be early,” she’d told her. “Most twins are, and I certainly was. So if it seems too soon, it’s not necessarily a sign that anything is wrong.”

  
‘Necessarily’. That was the part she was still hung up on, and the fact that she was never sure exactly how far along she was outside of some rough estimates didn’t make it easier to push that ‘necessarily’ out of her mind. If she’d never jumped off that cliff, if this had been a normal pregnancy, she’d have had the twins around the same time that Vex had Vesper, probably a little earlier, even. But Vex had her little girl, and Keyleth was still here, still waiting.  
  


“At least you’re coming along right on schedule,” she sighed, running a finger alone one of the Raven Tree’s skinny branches. “I don’t have to worry about you too much. You’re just gonna go along at your own pace, and it’ll be easy to tell when you need to be pruned or watered, or if you need to be relocated…” With a groan, Keyleth flopped back into the grass, closing her eyes and letting the sun warm her face as she tried to make her mind go blank. Easier said than done, when all she could focus on was the aches in her lower back and the occasional kicks in her midsection. She’d been particularly achy for the past day or so, the feelings coming and going in little waves, and when she’d asked the healer if she should be worried, she’d just been waved off. Apparently, what was happening was normal. False contractions, Healer Anwen had said, perfectly normal at this point in her pregnancy, and not an indicator that anything was wrong or that the babies were coming. She just needed to keep that in mind...easier said than done when one was waking up at odd hours of the night with sharp, painful cramps.

  
“The sooner you two get here, the better.” Keyleth winced at another spasm, running a hand along her belly. “I know I’m never gonna sleep through the night again, but it’d be nice to not have to go to the bathroom so much, you know?”

  
Both Nell and Anwen had told her what to expect, when things started properly, and from that she’d formed ideas in her mind as to what the start of childbirth would actually be like. She pictured it starting with pain, a rush of fluids as her water broke, and a clear sense that this was starting, that this was _happening_. She thought she’d be able to tell when it began, that it’d be clear and obvious.

  
Instead, when her water broke, it took her a moment or two to realize. She’d been expecting an unexpected rush of liquid, possibly followed by contractions. What she actually got was a slow leaking of fluids and a slight increase in the cramps she’d been feeling. For a moment, she wasn’t sure what was happening, the pieces not coming together in her mind.

  
And then…

  
“Oh,” Keyleth said softly, sitting up and wobbly getting back on her feet, her hand never leaving her stomach. “ _Oh_.”

  
There was a cawwing sound and the soft rustling of feathers as a large raven circled above before swooping downward, landing on the ground next to the Raven Tree sapling. It--no, he, because of course it was him-- cawed again, cocking his head slightly, looking concerned, or as much as a raven could look concerned. Keyleth smiled at him, wincing in discomfort at the feeling of another contraction (because of _course_ they’d been contractions, how had she not realized what was happening). He cooed, soft and almost worried, and hopped forward, hesitating before flapping up and landing on her shoulder. 

  
“Vax,” she breathed, “I need you to get Gilmore. It’s time.”

  
Vax cocked his head again, and she could just picture him, frowning and protesting that he wasn’t just going to _leave_ her right now, not again, not when she needed him. Putting aside the fact that he was a bird (was he really, though? She still wasn’t sure exactly _what_ he was now, just that it was still him, in some way, a piece that found its way back to them), he wasn’t going to swan off when she was in labor. Keyleth huffed, shaking her head as she tried to shoo him off, frowning as he just shifted and hopped over to her other shoulder. “I’ll be okay,” she insisted. “I’m going to go straight to the healer’s, she’ll get somebody to tell Dad and Derrig, I just need you to tell Gilmore...he wants to be here for this.”

  
Vax whined again.

  
“Look, once you get him, you can stay too. I want you here for this, of course.” Nevermind that he was gone, that this was just a piece or a shade of him, allowed to shake off his mistress’s leash and visit in a diminished capacity (and it struck her once again how unfair it was, that She would let him come home like _this,_ but She wouldn’t have given him more time with them all as he was), nevermind that she wasn’t sure how much he was capable of truly understanding as a raven. These were his children, bird or not. He deserved to be there.

He almost seemed to hesitate for a moment, those bright eyes of his boring into hers, before he gave a quick nod, taking to the skies once more. She stood and watched as he flew off until he was just a speck in the distance before, hand still resting on her belly, she slowly made her way back into the village proper.

  
It was time.

  
\---  
  


Keyleth managed to keep the panic at bay until she got to the healer’s house. Focusing on getting there, on trying to keep track of the contractions and ignore any twangs of pain she felt, had taken up all of her concentration, and it wasn’t until Anwen had gotten her settled and sent off one of her assistants to get her father and Derrig that everything finally hit her.  
  


She was having her babies. She was having them _right now.  
  
_

_Oh, gods.  
  
_

There were so, _so_ many ways this could go wrong, all of them beyond her control. She’d tried so hard for the past months to do everything right, to do everything to keep her babies safe, and now that it was time for them to arrive, she wasn’t sure if it had been enough. Multiple births were usually early, that’s what Nell said, so what if it was too early? What if they were too small? Her mother and father had tried so, so many times before they had her, they’d had so many disappointments...what if something happened now?

  
Oh, gods, what if something happened to _her_? It wasn’t something she’d thought about before. She’d been careful for so long to keep herself safe, to keep them safe...what if she brought them into the world only to leave them all alone? She should have told Vox Machina, she should have told Vex, she wanted her family, her sister, why hadn’t she told them? It seemed so stupid now, keeping the twins a secret, because if something happened to her now, they’d never know, they’d never hear about her children from her. Everything was piling up, every worst case scenario and bad possibility, the pain in her lower back, the sharp contractions that seemed too slow to her, all of Nell’s advice slipping away from her. She closed her eyes and gasped as another contraction sent a wave of pressure through her. She wasn’t ready for this. She couldn’t do this.

  
“Keyleth!”

  
Gilmore’s voice was like music to her ears, and she sent a silent prayer of thanks to Vax for being so quick to get him. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to see how disheveled Gilmore looked, his hair slightly mussed up, his robes not up to his normal standards. In fact, she’d never seen those robes before. They almost looked like...

  
“Gil…,” she breathed, another contraction causing her voice to hitch, “Are you…are you in your _pajamas_?”

  
The concern in his eyes didn’t lessen as he crossed his arms and huffed. “The one day I take off for a little rest and relaxation, you decide to go into labor.” He crossed the room to sit next to her, wordlessly holding out a hand to her, which she took gratefully. “They already take after their father, it seems. They arrive and I come running.” He chuckled a little, and she noticed that it seemed genuine, without a hint of the grief or regret that tinted their conversations about Vax.

  
“It might be a while, Gil.”

  
“I said I would be here, Keyleth, and here I will stay.” 

  
She didn’t deserve his friendship, she really didn’t, but gods, was she glad to have him here.

  
“Gil, if something happens--”

  
“Nothing will, Keyleth.”

  
“But if something _does_ , you’ll...you’ll look after them? Make sure they’re okay? Tell Vox Machina?”

  
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Of course I will, Keyleth. You don’t need to ask, though, because nothing will happen, to you _or_ to them. You’ve fought dragons and gods, gone through great loss far too young, and you’ve come through it all stronger than before...and if your children are anything like you, they’ll be too stubborn to let something like this stop them.”

_  
I have passed through fire_ , she thought to herself, repeating it in her mind like a mantra. _So will they. I have passed through fire, and so will they, and soon I’ll hold them in my arms._

  
“He’s right, Keyleth. You’re going to be okay.” She glanced back towards the door to see her father, looking slightly less frazzled than Gilmore. He gave Gilmore a quick nod as he joined her at her other side, patting her on the shoulder as he sat down. “You are the Voice of the Tempest. You earned that mantle through your strength and perseverance against all odds and obstacles. You will come through this.” Though he was smiling, his eyes were sad and distant, and she knew he was thinking of the woman who, in a different world, would have worn the mantle. Who hadn’t been strong enough.

  
“Dad…tell me about Mom? When she had me?” She wished, not for the first time, that her mother was here, that she’d been giving her advice and guiding her through everything. But, of course, she wasn’t, and if she had been, Keyleth might not be lying here right now, having her children. She might have never left home, never joined Vox Machina, never met Vax...it didn’t do to dwell on what ifs and possibilities so radically different from reality. She felt another contraction and gasped, squeezing Gilmore’s hand as she heard the healer tell her not to push, not yet. 

  
“You came quick,” her father said, eyes still far off. “Your mother insisted on having you at home, and it’s a good thing she did, or you’d have come while we were on the way to the healer’s. By the time they arrived, you were already here.”

  
“Was...was she scared?”

  
He smiled. “Not nearly as much as I was, but yes, she was terrified. We’d never made it to that point, before, and she was so afraid of something happening to you...she was angry too,” he chuckled softly, “mostly at me for putting her in that situation to begin with. She nearly broke my hand squeezing it...it all worked out in the end, though, and I’d never seen her so happy when she finally held you in her arms. And the moment that I held you...everything felt complete.”

  
“Are you...can you stay?” she asked, glancing over at Gilmore, still holding her hand. “Both of you?”

  
“As long as we’re allowed to,” Gilmore said, her father nodding in agreement as he looked over to the healer, who sighed and waved a hand in acquiescence. 

  
“They can stay, as long as they stay out of the way,” Anwen said, not looking up. “You’re not ready to push yet, Keyleth, you need to wait until you’re completely dilated.”

  
“And how long--how long will that take?” she hissed through gritted teeth, another contraction racking her with pain. The healer smiled sympathetically, and though Keyleth knew that she was just doing her job and trying to help her, she was struck with the sudden urge to punch her. It didn’t make sense, and was gone as quick as it came, but she was tired, everything hurt, and she just wanted this done. She didn’t need platitudes or sympathy, she needed her children here, _now_ , safe and sound in her arms, this long ordeal _finally_ over. Anwen seemed to sense the change in her temper, her smile becoming softer and more understanding as she patted Keyleth’s hand. 

  
“They’ll come when they’re ready. You’ll know when it’s time. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more than that, but every birth is different. You just need to be patient and have faith.”

_  
Faith_? She knew too well the cost of faith. She’d had faith in her mother coming home, had faith that Vax wouldn’t leave her as she feared, and look where that had gotten her. Faith had taken her children’s father from them before his time, and if his queen had Her way, it would take them too. No, she wouldn’t have faith. She didn’t need it, not when it had brought her nothing but heartache. But she...she could believe in something. She could believe in Anwen and the healer’s years of experience, and she could believe in the support and love of her father and Gilmore. She could believe in Nell and Derrig and all of the advice they’d given her...and she could believe in herself.

  
She could do this. Though she didn’t want to be patient, though she wanted this _done_ , she would grit her teeth and work through the pain, wait for them to tell her when it was time, and she would bring them into this world. 

  
“Okay,” she breathed. “Okay. Just...just let me know what I need to do.” Keyleth let out another shaky breath and glanced towards the window, briefly making eye contact with the raven standing quietly on the windowsill. She didn’t know how long it--he, because of course it was him, she’d told him to stay--had been there, how long he’d been watching. She also knew that this was likely as close as he’d be allowed in, and that trying to explain who and what he actually was would likely be met with sympathy and false platitudes, the only one who might believe her being Gilmore, and even that she wasn’t sure about.

  
Still. Just knowing he was there, that was enough.

  
The raven tilted its head briefly, and she returned the gesture before looking away from the window, closing her eyes and biting down on her lip at the pain shooting through her back. Okay. Okay, she could do this.  
  


Keyleth had been through a lot in her life. She’d faced zombies and vampires, fought dragons and demons and gods. She’d been splattered across the bottom of a cliff, lost her mother and her lover, bore the weight of her tribe’s hopes on her shoulders.   
  


_Nothing_ \--not one thing, not even death--could compare to what she was enduring now.  
  


The waiting before a fight was less agonizing than this. The pain became more intense, somehow more concentrated and yet all consuming, the urge to _push_ taking over every thought. The voice of the healer telling her to wait, that she wasn’t ready yet, barely broke through the pain and the pressure. At some point, she felt somebody take her hand and squeeze it, and she gripped it tightly, focusing all her desire to push onto the hand. Time seemed to lose meaning, the only thing marking its passage was the minutes between contractions.

  
Anwen was talking to her, guiding her and telling her that she was getting closer, looking more dilated. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her father head towards the door, rubbing at one of his hands. She heard him speaking with a female voice (Nell, maybe?), though she didn’t catch what he said. Words seemed to go in and out without taking hold, until, after what feels like hours, someone breaks through. The logical part of her, wracked with pain as it is, knew that it was likely the healer talking to her, or maybe Gilmore. But that wasn’t who she heard.  
  


_“Kiki, it’s time.”  
  
_

She gave a snort nod, and finally, _finally_ , started pushing.

  
There was a fire running through her veins now, a mantra repeating in her mind over and over. Out. _Out._ **_Out_ ** **.** Everything else was drowned out, the words of encouragement and instructions to push and move with the contractions fading into the background and blurring together. The world around her was too busy, too colorful, too many people moving around and distracting her, and she clenched her eyes shut, focusing on the contractions and the push.

_  
Out. Out NOW.  
  
_

A male voice, thick with emotion, said she was doing well. Another voice, female, told her to keep going, she was nearly there. Somebody was screaming...was it her?   
  


_OUT._ **_NOW.  
  
_**

Time seemed to move slowly. How long had she been pushing for? Why weren’t they _here_ yet? What was she doing wrong? Her babies weren’t even here yet and already she was so exhausted, everything aching and throbbing in a way she hadn’t felt since she tossed herself off a cliff. Maybe this was her punishment for her long ago carelessness, for risking her children’s lives back then, all for a stupid diamond.  
  


**_OUT!!  
  
_**

And when she was at her wits end, sweating and bloodied from her long battle, breathing heavily, struggling to keep going, Anwen’s voice breaks through her mental chant, cutting past the pain and the fog.

  
“You’re nearly there, Keyleth--The first baby is crowning! Just a little more!”

  
The relief was brief, knowing that there was still one more baby to go, but it was there all the same. She leaned forward, screaming and pushing in time with the healer’s commands and her family’s encouragement, she was so close, they were almost here--!!

  
She screamed again, almost not recognizing that she was no longer the only one yelling. Another voice--high pitched and young and _new_ \--was crying out. Breathing heavily, Keyleth opened her eyes, blinking as the world came back into focus, and looked down to Anwen. The healer was holding something in her arms, small and red and wiggly.  
  


“Congratulations, Keyleth,” she said with a smile, straightening up before placing the baby, _her baby_ , on her chest. “It’s a boy.”  
  


A boy. She had a _son_ . Keyleth looked at the baby on her chest, letting out a shaky laugh. She knew she wasn’t done yet, that there was one more baby that still needed to come, but she wanted to hold onto this brief, perfect moment. Her son (she had a son, she was a _mother_ ) was impossibly small, red-faced and wrinkly and a little bit slimy. It was impossible to tell who he looked like, and in that moment, she didn’t care. He had ten tiny little fingers and toes, two little ears that ended in soft points, and a healthy set of lungs he hadn’t stopped showing off since he arrived. He was, in other words, perfect.

  
“Shaun,” she murmured softly, eyes never leaving her son. The world had narrowed to just the two of them, and she didn’t immediately register the hand resting on her shoulder.

  
“I’m here, Keyleth,” Gilmore said thickly. “Well done.”

  
She shook her head. “No,” she insisted, weakly gesturing to her son. “ _Shaun_. He’s Shaun.”

  
Gilmore let out a soft noise, and she finally looked away from her son to see him grinning, tears streaming down his face. “Oh. Oh, _Keyleth_ , I…”

  
“You want to hold him?” She didn’t give him much of a chance to respond, gently scooping Shaun into her arms, marvelling at how perfect and _right_ it felt to hold him for a moment before, reluctantly, passing him to Gilmore. Her brief moment of rest was over, the pain clear on her face as another contraction took her. The minute Shaun was settled, she doubled over, crying out as the process started again, the healer back between her legs, coaxing her to push. 

  
She thought it was supposed to get easier with the second baby. That was what Nell had told her. The first was always the real fight, and the second wouldn’t cause as much of a fuss coming out. So, if that was the case, why did it still hurt so much? Why did it feel like she was fighting so much to bring the second baby out?

  
From her position between Keyleth’s legs, Anwen frowned and made a noise of concern. “Hmm. Something doesn’t seem right...let me take a closer look.”

  
Keyleth was suddenly wide awake, the fear more powerful than the pain and exhaustion. Oh, gods, she knew that this couldn’t last. She _knew_ that something was going to go wrong. Gods, what if they were stuck, or in distress, and she couldn’t do anything to help them? She couldn’t lose them, not now, not when she was so close to finally holding them. The Matron couldn’t take her baby before they got the chance to live, and if She tried, she’d fight tooth and nail to get them back, she would _not_ lose them.

  
“Ahh, I see what’s happened here,” Anwen nodded, her frown lessening. “The second baby is breech. I need to try and turn ‘em around. Keyleth, this is going to feel a little strange, but I’m going to try and right the baby, and when I tell you, you need to push while I twist and pull, okay?”

  
She nodded, not fully understanding. Breech? What did that mean? Nell hadn’t told her anything about that, was the baby okay or not? Anwen didn’t seem worried, but was she just trying to make Keyleth feel better? The healer tapped the inside of her thigh, catching her attention. “Keyleth, I need you here with me. Are you ready to push again?” She nodded again, catching the healer’s eyes. She could do this. “Okay, then...push, now!”

  
If Keyleth had thought the pain of delivering Shaun had been bad, it was _nothing_ compared to trying to get the second baby into position. She was fighting to get the baby out, and she knew that whatever Anwen was doing was supposed to help there, but just seemed to make everything hurt even worse. She had no idea if it was working, how long she’d been pushing for, if they’d managed to fix the baby, but her entire body was screaming at her to stop, to rest, because whatever she was doing wasn’t helping. If she just...just closed her eyes for a minute or two, maybe everything would feel better. Maybe Anwen didn’t need her to get the baby out. Maybe she could just...she was just so tired, and it hurt so _much_ …

  
She let out a breath and closed her eyes. Just for a second. She just needed to take a break.

_  
“Keyleth...Keyleth!”_

  
She groaned, body aching. She wasn’t ready to wake up yet, he could give her just five more minutes, she always let him sleep in…

  
“ _Keyleth, open your eyes. C’mon, Kiki, you’re not done yet…_ ”

  
Keyleth groaned again as she opened her eyes, the world around her dark and faded. She could just barely make out the figure standing above her. She could see the beads in his hair, how the little pops of color stood out against his dark tresses. There were feathers, and bonelike antlers, and bright grey eyes, and a smile that made her chest ache. She wanted to lean up, to brush her hand against his face, to tuck a bit of stray hair back behind his ear, but she found she couldn’t move. His chuckle was soft, and oddly slow, and he leaned down, lips brushing against her forehead.

_  
“I believe in you, Keyleth. Always have, always will. You just need to fight a little more...not a doubt in my mind that you’ll get through this, though.”_

  
“Don’t leave,” she muttered, trying and failing to keep her eyes open, afraid that he’d disappear again as they slipped closed. He was silent, his hand running along her hair, the sensation light. Ghost-like.

_  
“I love you, Keyleth. I will never be far from you...you need to push again, one last time. Are you ready?”_

  
Was there any other choice? No, she _knew_ that she was. She was still exhausted, everything still burned and ached, but she felt like she’d gained a second wind. Just enough to stretch up and push, and push, and _push--_

  
“There we are!! Another boy, Tempest, congratulations! You’re almost done, there’s just a little more to go…”

  
Keyleth opened her eyes, the room bright. The shadow that had stood with her and stroked her hair was gone, but she could see her father, his eyes bright with tears, a smile on his face as he whispered how proud he was of her, how proud Vilya would have been. She saw Gilmore, not bothering to mask his emotions, her son, her Shaun, nestled protectively in his arms.

  
And she saw the second baby, her second boy, as Anwen placed him on her chest. Like his brother, she couldn’t tell who he looked like, or what he looked like beyond small and red and crying. He had the same softly pointed ears as Shaun, his small little fingers resting on her skin. And on his head, a small tuft of dark, dark hair.

  
She hadn’t decided on what she would do if she’d had two boys, or two girls, for that matter. The only names she’d fully settled on had been Shaun and Vilya, and it didn’t seem like her second child was really a Vilya. But as Keyleth looked at him, it came to her. A little boy they’d all helped rescue long ago. A treasured possession and friend that Vax had adored, the way he lit up when it went from belt to snake. A last gift to a beloved little sister.

  
“Simon,” she whispered, running a finger against his downy hair, smiling as his cries lessened, as Gilmore gave her back Shaun. She shifted, sitting up a bit so she could cradle and look at both of her boys. They were beautiful, perfect, safe, and finally here. She could finally hold them close to her. Simon and Shaun of the Air Ashari...gods, they’d only just arrived, how was it possible to feel this much love so quickly?

  
She was vaguely aware that she was probably still bleeding, that she was covered in sweat and grime and everything still hurt, and likely would for several days. A quick glance back towards the window showed her that the raven was gone, two feathers left behind. She could worry about that later.

  
All that mattered were the two little boys in her arms. Nothing else was important now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Happy Holidays, y'all.
> 
> We're in the endgame now. There are, I think, four chapters left from this point (not including a oneshot I'm planning for down the road), two of which I need to finish writing. We'll be back in the new year with the rest of this!


	19. 16.

Since the birth of the twins, time seemed to move by in a haze, somehow both achingly slow and far too fast for Keyleth’s liking. Some of that, she knew, probably had to do with the fact she hadn’t slept for more than a few sporadic hours each night since her boys had arrived, and the exhaustion was messing with her perception of the world around her. Nell had warned her that might happen, said that it was more likely than not,  _ especially _ with multiple newborns.

She and Derrig had been the first non-family members to meet the twins, not including the healers (and Gilmore was family at this point, so he didn’t count). They’d cooed and fawned over the babies, congratulating her and complimenting them, though she’d been so exhausted that everything they’d said had sort of blurred together, save for one thing.. Nell had patted her on hand, nodded in understanding, and said, “Congratulations, Keyleth. The easy part is over.”

She’d wondered what Nell had meant. Easy? The months of hiding and lying, her body and magic betraying her and doing weird things had been  _ easy _ ?

It made sense now, though. The twins were unpredictable in what they wanted, one almost contradicting what the other needed. When Simon needed changing, Shaun needed food. When Shaun was going down to sleep, Simon needed burping. She knew, logically, that this was what babies did. They really only needed a few things, they only had one way to make that want known, and the odds of the boys needing the exact same thing at the same time was small. Even knowing that, Keyleth couldn’t help but be paranoid. She needed to make sure that they were okay, and that had been  _ so _ much easier when that only really meant taking care of herself. Now, taking care of herself was the last thing she needed to do, not when her children needed her.

For the first time since Vecna, she started to slip in her duties as the Tempest. At council meetings, if she was able to make it to them at all, she was tired and unkempt and usually had to leave early, not wanting to leave the boys with her father for too long (she trusted him, she really did, but they needed  _ her _ ). She’d stopped teaching her classes to the younger druids. She was letting her communications with the other Ashari tribes pile up. 

Gods, how did people  _ do  _ this? She felt stretched thin, inadequate as a mother, as a leader, and as a friend. She’d barely spoken to Derrig and Nell since she’d had the boys, and Gilmore...he was so understanding, but even when he visited, she mostly ignored him, wrapped up in her children and their needs. At least Gilmore was more focused on the boys when he came by. It gave her a brief window to try and get some rest.

But gods, it was worth it. Seeing her boys faces made all the sleepless nights and shirked duties worth it. They weren’t quite at the point of smiling yet, weren’t really aware of much beyond their own basic needs, but...sometimes, when she held them and they looked at her, it felt like they knew who she was,  _ what _ she was. They were probably too young for that, but it was still nice to think about.

Really, in a way, she mostly adjusted to her new routine. It wasn’t perfect, that much was clear from the bags under her eyes and the concerned looks her father gave her when he came round to visit her and the boys, but as the days and weeks passed, she seemed to almost get used to everything. Or if she told herself that enough, maybe it would be true. It hadn’t worked when she’d tried to deny her feelings for Vax, or when she’d tried to shove her grief away, but hey, third time's the charm, right?

The first night that the twins fully slept through, she didn’t sleep. She was afraid if she closed her eyes, they’d be gone when she opened them. That this was too good to be true and that if she gave herself a moment to rest, it would all go away. So, Keyleth spent the night sitting on her bed, alternating between rocking and watching one crib, then the other, intently watching her boy’s faces as they slept. It was still hard to see who they looked like more. She’d never known Vax as a child, and it was hard to picture him and Vex as ever having been little, not with the way they carried the world on their backs. But she knew her own face. And she thought she could see pieces of herself in her sons. It was still too early to tell whose eyes they had, the boys still having their baby blues, but she thought they had her ears. Simon’s hair was dark, all Vax, but Shaun’s seemed to be closer to what she remembered her mother’s hair looking like. A warm brown, that glowed with shades of red when the light hit it just right.

Keyleth watched them sleep, watched the way that Simon wriggled in his swaddlings, how Shaun drooled a little, one of his fists poking out from his wrappings. How peaceful they both looked. They were worth it. They were worth  _ everything _ .

The next day, they were slightly less well behaved. Well rested, the twins seemed to have more energy than usual. Or maybe she had less. The lines were so blurred, these days. Between the feedings and the changings, the little games and the rockings and burpings, she almost missed the knock at the door. The second time, it was louder, cutting through the buzz in her head that never seemed to go away these days. With a sigh, Keyleth stood from where she’d been sitting on the floor, watching as Simon and Shaun had been sharing what she referred to as ‘tummy time’. She looked at the door and back at them. It would only take a minute to get the door, they’d be okay if she left them there, but…

“They’ll be okay. I’ll be right back,” she whispered to herself, eyes on her boys as long as possible as she moved to get the door.

It wasn’t a surprise to see Derrig and Nell. Derrig was probably here on behalf of the council, since he was still technically her bodyguard, and Nell must have tagged along to see the boys. Nor was she really surprised at the sudden and quickly masked looks of concern on their faces upon seeing her. All those sleepless nights were probably starting to add up, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a proper bath...the smile she gave them was brittle, though genuine. 

“Sorry about the...well,” she gestured to her hair. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“It looks like you didn’t sleep at all, Tempest,” Derrig joked, wincing as Nell lightly elbowed him in the arm. “Sorry, sorry...you missed another meeting yesterday. The council gave me a real earful, said I must be doing a pretty poor job guarding you if I wasn’t with you reminding you about this stuff. It’s almost like they’re looking for an excuse to complain about things,” he rolled his eyes. “And Nell wanted to see your boys, so...here we are!”

She winced at the mention of the council. She’d completely forgotten about the meeting yesterday...the last few had slipped her mind only to come back to her too late, but to completely forget about it…she sighed, running a hand through her hair. Gods, she needed a bath. “Well, it’s good to see you two. Sorry about the meeting, I’ll have to go talk to the council later about that...and the other ones…”

Nell smiled and patted her on the shoulder as they made their way in, Keyleth rejoining the boys on the floor. They were fine, of  _ course  _ they were fine, she’d only been gone a minute, two tops, but still, seeing them still there, enjoying tummy time, she couldn’t help but let out a small sigh of relief. 

“So, when was the last time you’ve left them alone?” Nell asked. Keyleth frowned, moving to pick up Shaun as he waved a chubby hand at her, rocking him in her arms absentmindedly. “I know how hard it is to leave them with somebody else, but...Keyleth, I say this as your friend, you look awful.”

She snorted. “I think that might be an understatement. Dad watches them sometimes, so I can try to do my duties as Tempest, but I think we all know that things aren’t going great there. I just--”

“You’re worried about leaving them, even if it’s with somebody you know and trust.” Nell nodded in understanding. “Derrig and I did shifts, with the girls. He’d take care of things around the house while I fed them, I’d clean myself up while he did changings, that sort of thing.” She moved to sit on the floor next to Keyleth, shooting her a questioning look as she gestured towards Simon. Keyleth hesitated for a moment before nodding. Nell had four children. She knew how to hold them, there was no reason for her to worry as the other woman leaned forward and picked up her son. It didn’t stop the quick pang of fear in her chest, though.

“I know that circumstances are different,” Nell continued, tickling Simon’s chin to no real reaction. “We had three girls, you have two boys, your father is nearby but he doesn’t live here...to say nothing of managing babies while handling your duties to the village...and it's hard to let them out of your sight, especially right now.”

“What about Gilmore?” Derrig piped up. “Has he been by to help out?”

“A few times,” Keyleth nodded. “But he’s got his shops in Emon and Westruun, I know he was talking about officially setting up a place in Whitestone...he’s got his own life. Uncle Shaun or not, I can’t keep monopolizing his time so I can go and take a nap.”

“You need to take care of yourself, though.”

“I’m trying!” She sighed. “I know I’m doing a terrible job with balancing everything. I just don’t want anything to happen to them, you know? They slept through the whole night last night! And you know what I did? I stayed up, the whole night, watching to make sure they were actually sleeping. I could have taken a nap, I could have gotten a bath in or cleaned some of my things, but I just…” She looked at Simon, who was looking at Nell with what she could have sworn was confusion. She looked at Shaun, running a finger along his downy soft hair. “I can’t lose them. I  _ can’t _ . I can’t let  _ Her _ take them too. I read books, I know that sometimes babies just...don’t wake up. I can’t let that happen to the boys, so I just watched them all night to make sure they were fine. And they were! Would they have been okay if I didn’t? I don’t know, but I can’t take that risk!”

Shaun shifted in her arms, letting out a small whine, his face scrunching up as she looked down at him. She’d changed both of the twins before tummy time, and she didn’t feel any wetness...he could be tired, but they’d both come out of a nap before their changing, though that didn’t rule anything...oh! He was probably hungry. Simon had eaten earlier, but Shaun had been fussy and didn’t want to latch. “I think I need to feed Shaun, do you two mind if I…,” she gestured at her chest, relieved when Nell nodded, Derrig waving and turning to the side (not that she was embarrassed about feeding her son, but doing it in front of people was taking some getting used to).

“There we go…,” she cooed softly as Shaun latched and started feeding, the world narrowing to just the two of them (though she was still aware of Simon, her son still safe and content with Nell). “Is that better? You were just hungry, right? Yeah...thought so.” She rubbed her son’s back in slow, gentle circles, eyes never leaving him.

“You’re a natural, Keyleth,” Derrig noted. “The balancing and stuff, that’ll come with time. Nellie, how long did it take us to get back to something we could reasonably claim was normality?”

Nell chuckled. “Ages. The first time all three of the girls slept through the night, I think I cried.”

“You  _ definitely  _ did, dear. I did too. It was a miracle!”

“Well, the boys have done that,” Keyleth said as she switched Shaun from one breast to the other, not looking up, “but I’m not expecting it to be a habit.”

“It wasn’t with the girls,” Nell nodded. “They did it once, and then it was touch and go again for a few months. Lita would go down after hours of fighting sleep, only for Maeve to wake up and start crying, which would wake Lita right up…”

“Berenie was pretty good about sleeping,” Derrig pointed out. “She usually stayed down the whole night after that first time.”

“The keyword there, dear, is ‘usually’.”

Derrig shuddered. “I tried to block out the exceptions.”

“How long did it take for the paranoia to go away,” Keyleth asked as she shifted Shaun to her shoulder, gently patting him on the back. “I mean, I know it probably doesn’t really go away, but when did it stop controlling your life?” If she could just let go of some of that fear, maybe she’d be able to start finding a balance again. Figure out how to be the Tempest and a mother and a friend and a member of Vox Machina, all at one time.

But she hadn’t managed it yet...after all, wasn’t that the whole reason she’d kept the twins a secret from her family? If she couldn’t let it go now that they were actually here, and she could hold them and know for a fact they were safe...would she ever be able to let it go?

Nell shrugged. “Like you said, it doesn’t really go away. It just sort of changes as they get older...but the first night the girls all slept was a turning point for us. Even if it didn’t happen again for a while--”

“And it didn’t,” Derrig interjected.

“--It was still a sign that they were doing well and that they were on track with everything. It wasn’t like we started to take vacations or anything after that--”

“But we felt better about leaving the girls with people we trusted. Nell’s family, my family, our neighbors, you get the idea.” Derrig smiled a little. “I was terrified to go back on my first hunt after the girls came, even knowing that Nell was there...and the first time we had to leave them with my folks? Easily the most agonizing day of my life. And I’ve fought a Behir!”

“The point is,” Nell sighed, shooting Derrig a fondly exasperated look, “is that if you don’t start to let other people in to help, you’ll never get your life back. Whatever milestone you need to let yourself do that, take it. You won’t be abandoning your boys. Think of it more as expanding the number of people who love and trust them as much as you do.”

Keyleth wondered when that would happen. She still needed to tell Vox Machina, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to let someone help with her babies. Her dad was competent and loved them almost as much as she did, and Gilmore...he was their uncle. He adored them! 

Shaun let out a surprisingly loud and wet burping noise, and as she moved him back from her shoulder to her arms, she almost missed it. The noise was...it was hard to describe. It sounded a bit like a pig squealing, and though it started soft, the sound got louder, more...she wasn’t sure. It could have been laughter, maybe, but it didn’t sound like any she’d ever heard. 

Keyleth looked at Simon, still settled in Nell’s embrace. Her son was looking at her through squinted eyes, his face red as he let loose a loud, squealy sound. For a moment, she was concerned; was he hungry too? Did he need to be changed? He’d never made that sound before, was he okay? The panic quickly coming back, she looked at Nell for guidance, hoping the worry wasn’t too evident on her face. But Nell seemed unconcerned by whatever Simon was doing. In fact, she seemed rather emotional, her eyes bright and her smile wide.

“Well,” she said, voice thick, “Would you listen to that. His first laugh.”

_ Oh _ . It was...he was...

Shaun seemed to sense that something was different, that something was happening with his brother, and he started to make the same noise, his first squeaky laugh joining in with Simon’s, filling the room with noise. 

They were laughing. Her boys, without realizing it, in the face of her anxiety and fears, were  _ laughing _ . And it was the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard.

Keyleth let out a choked sound, somewhere between a laugh and a sob, the smile on her face impossibly wide as she joined in with her sons, laughing at the insanity that was her life, at the sign the universe had decided she needed to start taking control of her life back. Derrig and Nell, they were right. There wasn’t anything wrong with letting people in, and shutting them out had just made things harder for her, before and after the boys arrived. It was time to start opening up, expanding her circle. It wouldn’t make the nerves go away, any time she wasn’t close to the twins...but there were good people in her life, people who she loved and trusted and knew what they were doing. She just needed to let them in.

“Derrig,” she managed through the giggles that were starting to subside, “can you tell the council I’ll be ready to meet with them tomorrow? I’ll talk to Dad, and if he can’t babysit, then...Nell, would you be able to look after the boys for a few hours?”

Nell nodded, Derrig grinned, triumph and relief in both of their eyes.

“Welcome back, Tempest,” he said with unmasked pride. “Now, are you gonna let me hold one of the boys, or am I gonna need to break out the puppy eyes?”

\---

The formal wedding invitation was similar to Vesper’s birth announcement. Nice paper, flowery wording, details peppered in between titles. Lord and Lady de Rolo cordially invite you to their wedding, to take place at Dalen’s Closet, Shamal, Bay of Gifts, Marquet...none of it was new information, not really. What  _ was _ new was the attached note, slightly more legible than Percy’s usual scrawlings, the strange mixture of formal and casual that seemed to dominate his correspondences.

_ “Vex and I had a bit of an argument about who got you as their best man (for lack of a better term), and I’m pleased to say that I won that one. Vex got Tary, which is just as well, because I imagine whatever wedding plans he and I could have come up with would have been…’creative’. Regardless...Vex and I both wanted you to be involved with the planning of the wedding and the festivities (We’ve roped the others into things too, don’t worry about that), and I was hoping you’d be able to come by Whitestone soon? It seems like this would be easier to do in person, as opposed to through letters...and I think Vesper would like to see you again, as well. It’s amazing how much she’s grown in such a short period of time...Ah, but I’m rambling. I hope you can tell that I’ve missed our conversations. Writing you a letter just doesn’t feel the same. _

_ I hope to see you at Whitestone soon, Keyleth. I think I’m going to need all the help I can get. _

_ \--Percival de Rolo” _

“I thought you said they were already married,” Derrig commented, giving the note a onceover before handing it back to Keyleth. They were sitting by the cliffs, watching the wind go through the trees, taking a small break before going to their respective homes after the last council meeting. Keyleth was itchy, yearning to get to her father’s house, to get her boys and hold them close, but Derrig had insisted. A small break, a moment taken for oneself, did not make you a bad parent or a bad person. She was still trying to figure it all out, was still trying to open herself up to the advice and experience of her friends, but at least in this moment, she knew he was right. It was nice to sit down and enjoy the sound of the wind.

“They are,” she folded the note back up, putting it away in one of her pockets. “They eloped ages ago, but I don’t think they ever did a formal ceremony...and it’s been nearly a year since Vecna, so any excuse for a party, right?” Derrig hummed in agreement, as Keyleth closed her eyes and leaned back a bit, focusing on the feeling of the wind on her face, the way it moved in her hair, trying to keep the nerves that hadn’t quite gone away yet quiet. “Dalen’s Closet is really nice, too. It’s by the ocean, and there’s beautiful beaches, and the resort itself is really fancy...they picked a good place.” Dalen’s Closet had been one of their last moments of peace, before everything fell apart. They’d never be able to recapture what had been, but the sentiment was still nice.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment longer before she sighed, standing up and stretching her arms above her head. “I need to tell them about the boys. I need to tell all of them, but Vex and Percy need to hear it first.”

“Did you have a plan in mind?”

She nodded, shrugging slightly. “Sort of? I just knew I was going to tell them after their wedding. Like... _ right _ after. Catch them while we’re all still riding an emotional high and just...tell them? I feel like that’s too simple, though.” 

“Sometimes the simple solutions are the best ones,” he said as he stood up, nodding back towards the village. “The situation is already complicated, why make it more so?”

He made a good point. The situation  _ was _ complicated (though only because she’d made it so), and she didn’t want to make this worse than it was already going to be. Her excuses had sounded hollow for months, and no matter when she told them, they were going to be angry, or at the very least upset. Still, just getting them alone and telling them ‘I have twin sons, they’re Vax’s, and I didn’t tell you about them until now because I was afraid about everything’ felt too easy and straightforward, like it didn’t cover everything that her being afraid had really encompassed. It offered no real explanations or even excuses. It just sort of...was.

“If it was me in your shoes,” he continued, “I would try to get one of them alone at a moment when everyone is really comfortable and relaxed, and just say you need to talk to them about something, and then just...do it.”

“Yeah, but how do I  _ say _ it? Do I start with the fact the boys exist, do I tell them about the pregnancy…” Keyleth frowned, glancing up at the sky and watching the ravens as they flew past. “And at some point they’re gonna ask about the lying, and I just don’t want it to become a big argument. This is Vex and Percy’s wedding, I don’t want to ruin it!”

Derrig hummed. “It’s always a possibility, Tempest. But the longer you draw this out, the harder it’s gonna be to talk about it with them, and the worst the fallout will be.”

The idea comes out of nowhere. Maybe she was worried about telling them because she was doing it alone. But…

“Come with me, to the wedding.” Keyleth stopped and put a hand on Derrig’s shoulder. “The council is probably going to make you come anyway as my bodyguard, but if you come as my plus one, you can help me with figuring out how to tell them there, and you can be my backup if this goes wrong…”

Derrig raised an eyebrow, staring at her quietly before a slow grin came across his face. “You know, your friends are going to get the wrong idea about things if you show up with me as your dashingly handsome guest.” He laughed as she snorted, barely dodging out of the way as she moved to smack him in the arm. “Hey, it’s not a bad idea! Like you said, they’re going to make me go with you anyway, at least now it’s on your terms...and me giving your friends the wrong idea  _ could _ work in your favor.”

“How so?”

“Well, if they’re focused on me being a possible new beau, they’ll be too busy focusing on me and giving me the twenty questions to notice when you pull Vex and Percy away, right? And, any irritation could be focused on me, so they’ll be less upset when you tell them.”

As far as plans went...well, it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t exactly  _ good _ , but Keyleth knew that there wasn’t going to be a good way to handle the situation she’d put herself in. A distraction for most of Vox Machina, a focus for all the bad feelings she knew would be stirred up by her revelation….

“Derrig,” she said as they arrived at her father’s house, “you’re a good friend.”

“I aim to please, Tempest,” he grinned. “Now, go get your boys and let’s get you all home. We can keep working out the details as we go.”

Keyleth may not have liked the fact that the council made her travel with a bodyguard, but she was glad that it was Derrig. She couldn’t imagine doing any of this without him, or Shaun, or Nell.

As the days and weeks passed, he became an invaluable asset to her as she travelled back and forth between Zephra and Whitestone, reconnecting with her family and helping Percy as he planned out the wedding. Between babysitting and helping her with figuring out the finer details about telling them all about her babies, he became a lifeline as she slowly started to work back towards a new normal. Her boys started to laugh and smile, their eye color settling into familiar shades of grey and green. They knew her, they waved at her and reached for her whenever she was nearby, they cried when she left (and gods, that hurt, she hated leaving them even if she trusted her father and Derrig). They knew her father, and they knew Shaun and Derrig and Nell, they were becoming proper members of the Air Ashari, and while their magic hadn’t sparked in quite the way it had while she was pregnant, Shaun claimed that was normal. As the trip to Dalen’s Closet grew closer, a plan formed in her mind, with help from Derrig and Shaun (and the occasional bit of input from Nell, who always seemed to know just what to say).

Keyleth would bring Derrig with her as her bodyguard/guest to the wedding. As had been suggested, and knowing Vox Machina, they  _ would _ immediately zero in on him as a target for questions and accusations related to her, their secondary focus only to the wedding( which, of course, came first). She’d drop hints to Percy and Vex that she needed to talk to them about something, probably at the rehearsal dinner, and would tell them right after the wedding proper. Whatever their reactions were, she’d take it, because she deserved it for the months of lying and hiding. She’d take them to Zephra, introduce them both to their nephews, and hopefully that would be enough to help smooth some of the rough edges that this whole situation was sure to bring up.

It was a good plan. It was solid. And when it finally came time to go to the wedding, Keyleth was absolutely terrified.

“Okay, so I’ll be back with Percy and Vex--Shaun, honey, no, Mommy’s circlet is not a toy--after the wedding, and we’ll come by to get the boys then. I’ll message you constantly, I’ll try to scry on the boys tonight...if there’s any problems, send a raven, they know where to find me, okay?”

Korrin smiled, holding his arms out to take her boys, and even though she knew they needed to leave, she was hesitant to let them go. She’d gotten used to leaving them with her father for stretches of time now, but this was going to be the longest she’d been away from Simon and Shaun since they were born. Between that and the anxiety of the wedding, she was a  _ little _ frazzled. Shaun had a hand wrapped around the base of her circlet, Simon was babbling nonsense to his brother, and she wanted so badly to take them with her. 

“Keyleth. It’s going to be fine. Whatever happens, your friends are going to forgive and accept you and your sons. You’re going to be late if you stay much longer.” Korrin’s sigh was fond as he gently took Simon from her, Shaun whining slightly as he was forced to let go of his new favorite shiny object. Twin eyes looked up at her, her heart aching as she leaned in and kissed both of them on the forehead, ruffling Simon’s black fuzzy hair as she pulled away.

“Okay, you two. Be good for Grandpa. I’ll be back as soon as I can be, with your Auntie Vex and Uncle Percy...and if this goes well, maybe your cousin, too. Would you like that? Play dates with Vesper?”

Shaun blew a spit bubble at her, Simon breaking out into giggles as it popped.

Gods, it was strange, how the smallest things reminded her of Vax when she looked at them. He’d be so proud of them both.

“I love you both very much. I’ll be back soon, promise.” 

As she and Derrig headed towards a large tree, preparing to make the jump to Whitestone, Keyleth kept looking back at her sons. This would work. This had to go well. She couldn’t imagine a world where Vex never forgave her, never met her nephews.

With one last glance, her head full of wedding plans and details, the eyes of her sons looking at her frozen in her mind, she opened a portal to Whitestone and stepped through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are curious, this is roughly how I pictured the boys in my head.
> 
> Simon: Dark hair, Keyleth's green eyes, looks a lot like Vax but has enough of Kiki mixed in for it to not be exact. The resemblance gets closer as he gets older, but again, it's not exact.  
> Shaun: Dark auburn hair, darker than Keyleth's (Korrin thinks it's similar to Vilya's hair), Vax's bright grey eyes. Also looks quite a bit like Vax, but the coloring and features aren't exact. Kiki actually thinks he looks a lot like Korrin. Apart from differences in coloring, the boys really resemble each other until they get older, at which point Shaun starts to resemble Keyleth's side of the family a little more.


	20. Interlude: Vex

Keyleth had never claimed to be a good liar. In fact, on several occasions, she’d openly admitted to being terrible at it, even when a layer of deception would have been prudent. That blatant, unabashed honesty was one of the many things that Vex’ahlia loved about her sister. 

Lying by  _ omission _ , on the other hand, was apparently something that Keyleth was  _ quite _ good at.

She’d been acting strange for months, ever since Vecna. Ever since...well. A lot had happened, they all had to adjust to a new, bleaker normal, and Vex knew she personally would never act normal again. How could she? Half of her heart was gone.

So, Keyleth being distant, staying away from Whitestone, not reaching out to any of them...it was understandable. Vex didn’t question it, mostly because she was doing the same thing, isolating herself at home and keeping away from the many things that reminded her of her lost brother. But after Vesper was born, after Keyleth had promised to be there and failed to show up...well, people grieve in their own way. She certainly understood that (the covered mirrors in Whitestone stood as testament to that), and it offered a logical explanation to Keyleth’s out of character behavior. 

The fact that she had, in fact, been keeping  _ something _ from them all, and managed to keep it quiet for over a year...that hurt.

Vax’s words to her sat heavily in Vex’s mind. ‘Your children’, he’d said in that strange, slow voice that was so unlike him. He’d looked right at Keyleth as he’d said that. He could have just been being dramatic...gods know that a year at the side of the Raven Queen had somehow made him even more inclined for a dramatic flair...but the way Keyleth had gone rigid...other people may not have noticed it, but Vex was a hunter. She was trained to pick up on the smallest of changes, the slightest shift in somebody’s body.

The fact that Keyleth’s bodyguard had sworn hadn’t gone unnoticed, either.

She wanted to give her sister the benefit of the doubt. She  _ wanted _ to believe that Vax had been speaking metaphorically, referring to Keyleth’s people and the lives she would touch throughout her life. She didn’t want to think that Keyleth was capable of hiding something like that from them all, from  _ her _ , for as long as she had.

But everything else had gone wrong at the wedding. What was one more thing?

She watched as Keyleth made thousands of fireflies, sending them dancing up into the air. It really was a beautiful gesture...Vex sighed, putting on the armor of nobility as she approached her, putting a hand on her shoulder and drawing her attention away from the resuming festivities.

“You and I,” Vex’ahlia said, every inch the baroness and lady as she spoke, “need to have a talk, don’t we.”

Keyleth stiffened under her grip. Vex pulled back as she continued, eyes never leaving hers. “My brother does--did have a flair for the dramatic, so when he spoke about ‘your children’,” she made quotes with her fingers, “Am I right to assume he was speaking metaphorically there?”

Keyleth’s eyes were wide, her back ramrod straight. She reminded Vex of a deer, the way it looked under the gaze of a predator. She hesitated for a moment too long, eyes darting towards the crowd briefly before looking back to Vex, still wide and uncertain and full of...guilt? Shame?

So it  _ was  _ true.

“Vex,” she said quietly, voice steady, “It’s not...I…I just…”

Vex narrowed her gaze, crossing her arms. 

Keyleth slumped, sighing as she dropped her gaze. “I think...maybe it would be easier if I showed you. Tomorrow morning. It’s been sort of a long night, and I think maybe what I’ve got to tell you would go over better if we’ve all gotten some sleep.” When she looked back up, her eyes were tired, pleading, and in spite of the growing anger boiling in Vex’s gut, she  _ had _ made a good point. It had been, by all accounts, a very long day. Hell, she’d  _ died _ . 

Maybe Keyleth was right. Vex certainly wasn’t in the right headspace to address this right now, and if she was going to be angry, she wanted to do it after a good nights’ rest.

“Fine,” she acquiesced, keeping her arms crossed. “Tomorrow morning, then. I look forward to hearing what you have to say, Keyleth.”

And she turned and walked away before she could change her mind, making her way back towards Percy. She could feel Keyleth’s eyes on her the entire time. 

Percy was surrounded by their family, looking a little overwhelmed by whatever Scanlan was talking to him about, as she rejoined him, his expression turning to one of relief as she linked arms with him. “Scanlan, darling, would you mind terribly if I stole my husband for a bit? It’s been rather a long evening, and we’ve yet to have some proper alone time. I’m sure you understand.”

Scanlan laughed and winked at her. “You two kids go have fun, I’ll keep the party going over here!” He dropped his voice conspiratorially. “Permission to mess with your dad?”

She knew she’d picked the right person to lead her down the aisle. He really did know how to bring some much needed levity to things. “Permission more than granted. Thank you, Scanlan. For everything.” There was no way she’d ever be able to truly repay him for his wedding gift, but she would make sure he knew how much they all loved and appreciated him for as long as she lived. He deserved it.

He just waved her off, his smile softening as she led Percy away from all the excitement. “Darling, I know this is our party, but I’m feeling rather exhausted by everything...do you think we could--”

“You read my mind, Vex’ahlia,” he nodded. There was a slight tremor to his voice, barely perceptible, and gods, it was just hitting her that he’d watched her die,  _ again _ , hadn’t he? It didn’t matter that everything had worked out, that Sylas was gone (hopefully for good this time), that their daughter was safe and sound, that their friends were okay and everyone was celebrating. It didn’t even matter that Keyleth had been lying to them all (well, it didn’t matter  _ quite  _ as much at that moment). The entire evening had been, for lack of a better term, a complete clusterfuck.

They settled into a comfortable silence as they returned to their rooms. Cassandra met them at the door with a tired smile. “You’re back later than I expected,” she said, giving Percy an acknowledging nod. “Did the rehearsal dinner go alright?”

Gods, in the chaos, Vex had forgotten...she hadn’t been there, had she? Cassandra had stayed behind to watch Vesper. She’d managed to miss Sylas completely, which was a small miracle, but now they’d need to explain to her that no, one of the monsters that still haunted her hadn’t been as dead as they’d hoped, that everything had gone to shit, but oh, it was fine now,  _ really _ fine this time. How were they supposed to tell her what happened without dragging back everything she’d been through? 

Percival, bless him, picked up on her unspoken concern, shrugging at his sister. “There were some complications. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow...how’s Vesper been?”

Despite her clear exhaustion, Cassandra brightened up at the mention of Vesper. “She’s been a delight, as usual. We’ve had a lovely evening together...read a book or two, looked out at the ocean, got spit up on…she’s sleeping now, by the way. You’re welcome. You know,” she chuckled and shook her head. “I was a little put out about missing the rehearsal dinner, but I must confess, brother, I think I got the better end of the bargain.”

Percy’s smile was brittle. “You certainly did.” At her confusion, he shook his head and waved her off. “I’ll explain it all in the morning, after we’ve had a good night’s rest. You should get some sleep, Cassandra. And thank you, for looking after Vesper.”

Cassandra nodded, the confusion replaced with concern. But she didn’t push it, thank the gods. Vex didn’t want to have to explain to her sister-in-law who had decided to crash their celebrations, at least not yet. Let her think something else happened. Anything but Sylas.

Their room beckons them, their bed calling to her with the promise of sleep. She just needed to get out of her dress, first...and damn Sylas Briarwood for ruining  _ that _ , too. She’d spent so much time and money on her dress, on all their clothes, on the whole damn wedding, and he goes and makes it worthless in one evening. Ass.

“Percy, darling,” she said, voice just a touch too casual given the events of the evening, “would mind helping me out of this dress? It’s a little waterlogged at the moment,” she chuckled to herself, trying to forcefully lighten the mood, “but I think I may be able to save it once it dries out.” Percy hummed in affirmation, so quiet she could barely hear him. His hands were shaking as he undid the ties of her dress, fingers slowly and unsteadily working their way down her back as he went, as if he was trying to reassure himself that she was still here. Still alive.

“Percy,” she hesitated, “Love, are you alright?”

He barked out a laugh, harsh and bitter. “Am I--Am  _ I _ alright? Vex--Vex’ahlia, you  _ died _ . Again. Because of me. I should be the one making sure you’re alright!”

She turned around to face him, only to find that he wouldn’t look at her. “I laughed at him. I laughed and said he bored me, and then you drown and I can do nothing to help you, and I have to watch as,  _ once again _ , you die because of me--”

“Percy, stop.” She put a hand on his cheek, gently forcing him to look at her. “Sylas hated me just as much as he hated you. I’m here, I’m fine, Pike fixed me right up, hopefully Sylas will do the decent thing and stay dead this time--”

“He’d be rude not to,” Percy said with a wet chuckle, leaning into Vex’s hand. She could feel the tears he was trying and failing to keep back, could feel the ones on her face as they ran down and further ruined her makeup.

“Exactly. All of this? This was his fault. Not yours. Never yours, darling. And he’s dead, and we’re not. We’re here, we’re both alive and safe, our daughter is safe, and there are far more important things to talk about and do on our wedding night than give Sylas Briarwood any more attention.” 

Her husband’s smile was genuine, without the guilt or self loathing she had seen there so many times before, the threat of those shadows banished for the time being. He leaned in, pressing their foreheads together, and she closed her eyes, comforted by his presence, by the fact that everything she’d said was true. They were alive and safe and here, together, and that was never going to change.

“...Vex’ahlia…”

“Mmm?”

“While I would love nothing more than to give you the wedding night you deserve,” he sighed, “The only thing I want to do right now is sleep for about twelve hours or so, with you and Vesper right beside me.”

She nodded, pulling back to kiss his cheek softly before she started to work on the buttons of his vest. His clothes were soaked through as well, and if they were going to be having discussions about things, it would be best if they were both comfortable. “That sounds like heaven to me, darling...but we need to talk about Keyleth.”

“Keyleth?” He sounded surprised. “Once you finish that, turn around, I’ll get the rest of your ties.”

“Thank you, dear. Yes, Keyleth...did you notice what Vax said to her?” 

Percy frowned in thought, shimmying out of the vest and tossing it to the floor before he moved to resume freeing her from the constraints of wet fabric. “He said a few things to her. Was there something in particular that caught your attention, or was it the way he spoke in general? Because--”

“He was being weird, I know.” She sighed. “I don’t know if he was doing that to be weird or if it’s the result of being with the Matron all the time. I suppose it doesn’t matter. No, he said something about ‘her children’, and she just froze up.”

“He could have just meant it metaphorically. Her people, all the lives she’ll touch, that sort of thing. Last tie is done, you should be able to step out of your dress. Do you want me to hang it up somewhere to dry?”

Vex hummed in affirmation, stepping out of the dress and leaning down to pick up Percy’s discarded clothing. “Might as well. They really aren’t so badly damaged, looking at them now...might be a little crusty in the morning, but nothing that can’t be fixed. You hang these up, I’ll go check on Vesper, I’ll see you in there.” This conversation about Keyleth wasn’t over, though. She knew what she’d heard, what she’d seen. Keyleth’s reactions, the way she responded when Vex confronted her...she was hiding something.

It raised the question, though. If Keyleth did have children now, why had she hidden it from them all? Why had she kept it from her? It wasn’t like her…

Or maybe it was. A lot could change in a year even without the baggage of grief. Maybe Keyleth felt like she couldn’t talk to them anymore, though if that was the case, Vex was still at a loss to understand why.

Vesper was sleeping, as Cassandra said, snoring softly, one little hand clenched in a fist near her mouth. Vex sighed in relief, grateful that Sylas had decided to take his vendetta out on them and not on their daughter. Vesper would, hopefully, grow up in a house filled with love and laughter, the ghosts of her parents banished to the past where they belonged. They’d started to talk about trying to give her a sibling, though between planning for the wedding, business in Whitestone, and taking care of their daughter, they hadn’t really had time to take it beyond just talk. Maybe she’d bring that up to Percy again in a few days, when things had calmed down.

_ Maybe Vesper already has some cousins out there _ , she thought, Vax’s words and Keyleth’s response still weighing on her.

If,  _ if _ , Keyleth did have children now (he’d said children, it could still be metaphorical, but her  _ face _ …), they were almost certainly Vax’s. She’d have been pregnant at around the same time as Vex, possibly a little further along than her; if that was the case, then on her few visits to Whitestone, she’d hidden it very well. She hadn’t shown, hadn’t had a glow about her, wasn’t acting out of the ordinary...All Vex could think about was the why. Why lie, why hide, why keep this from their family, from  _ her? _ Especially if these were Vax’s children.

She sighed, frustrated, running a hand through her hair and turning to the door as Percy walked in. Wordlessly, he held his arms open to her, holding her close as she stepped forward and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I just don’t understand, Percy,” she said softly, not wanting to wake Vesper. “If Keyleth has children now, why would she keep that from us?”

“We don’t know yet that she does,” he murmured, guiding them towards the bed. “He could have been metaphorical. It has been quite the day, the stress could have been hitting her…you said you were going to speak to her tomorrow.”

“We’re going to speak to her tomorrow,” she corrected. “If she does have children, they’re just as much your kin as they are mine.” He hummed, leaving her on the bed as he went to the crib, looking at their daughter with so much affection and softness that it broke her heart. He’d taken to fatherhood like a duck to water, as much as he protested and said that he didn’t deserve the life he had now. Every time he did, she reminded him that he wasn’t the same man he’d been when they met him in that cell all those years ago. He wasn’t the same man that had fallen at Glintshore. He wasn’t even the same man he’d been when they faced Vecna. Her Percy, the man she loved, was so much more than that. He was all of his experiences, all of the sorrows and strife he had faced, the man who chose to walk in the light, even when darkness would be easier.

He was hers, and she was his. They filled in each other’s broken pieces, and they were better for it.

“What are you thinking, darling?” she asked, voice just above a whisper.

“I spoke to Pike a while ago...it was after Vesper was born, after everyone had been to see her. I hadn’t thought much of what she’d said at the time, it just sounded like standard advice. Now, though...I’m not sure.” He frowned a little. “She said that we should all look out for each other, no matter what changes came. I thought she was just talking about Vesper, or maybe that she and Scanlan were going to make the next steps.”

“You think she knew Keyleth was hiding something?”

Percy hummed, shrugging his shoulder as he joined her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her as she leaned against his shoulder. “I don’t know. She is a cleric, maybe she saw something that we missed.”

“I want to be mad at her. I want to be angry at her for lying to us and hiding something this big. But I just want to understand why she felt like she couldn’t talk to us. After all we’ve been through, why would she keep this from us?”

Percy absentmindedly ran a finger along her arm, his face contemplative. "Everyone deals with grief and change in different ways. To lose someone you love and suddenly realize your life is about to change, again…" 

"But she could have come to us! We could have gone through this together!" Vex closed her eyes, the image of Keyleth as a mother, the idea of her with children that looked like Vax, was just out of reach, something she couldn't quite picture. 

"Vex'ahlia, the only one who can give us answers now is Keyleth, and I don't think we're going to get any further with this tonight. She said we would talk tomorrow, and whatever her reasoning, we should at least hear her out." Percy yawned a little. "It certainly wouldn't be the first time one of us kept secrets from the others.”

"I know, but…," she trailed off, opening her eyes again to stare up at the ceiling. It was easier, she thought, to focus on Keyleth and her secrets than to really think about all that had happened that night. It was easier to be mad than to dwell on the feeling of her lungs burning in her chest, the weight of chains on her as she was pulled down further into the dark, her eyes stinging as her vision faded--

"Vex?"

She blinked. "I'm fine. Sorry, I was just thinking. I'm alright, darling, really."

Percy looked at her and gave a short nod, disbelieving yet understanding. They would need to talk about tonight, about Sylas and what has happened and what could have happened…

But for now, sleep awaited. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

\----

Vesper woke her parents bright and early, her cries abruptly bringing Vex out of a dreamless sleep. The bed was empty, Percy already up and tending their daughter, and as Vex sat up and made her way out of bed, he turned to give her a tired smile.

"And there's Mummy now, Vesper," he cooed, passing her off into Vex's waiting arms. "Good morning, my light. I've already changed her, but she still needs breakfast."

Vex smiled down at their daughter, stroking her downy hair briefly before adjusting her hold on her, Vesper latching and eating eagerly. "And a good morning to you both. Did you sleep alright?"

Percy gave a noncommittal hum, shrugging. "I've had better nights." She wasn't surprised by that. He'd gotten up a few times, paced around the room once...granted, her own sleep had been fitful, though she hoped she'd hidden it well enough. She didn't want to worry Percy anymore than she already had (gods, she'd  _ died _ again, she still couldn't quite grasp that).

"Well, this is our party," she moved to burp Vesper, who tried to grab at some of her hair as she moved from chest to shoulder and back. "If we were to just stay in here all day, I'd say we would be well within our right to do so. After all, we paid for it." She ran a hand along Vesper's hair, fighting back a laugh as she stared at her hand, as if debating whether or not it would be worth it to shove it into her mouth. "Though we should speak with Keyleth first. Get the business out of the way."

As if on cue, there was a knock at their suite door. Vex passed Vesper back to Percy and went to the door, lacing her robe up as she went. As expected, there was Keyleth, bright and early and looking like she'd barely slept, her bodyguard behind her. Vex said nothing, giving them both a nod as she let them in, wordlessly directing them to sit down. 

"Percy is with Vesper, but he'll be along shortly," she said, trying to dig into the same feelings of hurt and betrayal she'd felt the night before. "So. You have something you'd like to tell me, Keyleth?"

Keyleth's hands were in her lap. She was biting her lip nervously, wringing her hands and glancing back at her bodyguard, who gave her a small nod. Part of Vex felt bad about laying it on so thick, for clearly upsetting her closest friend, her sister.

The part of her that was angry about being lied to for a year was stronger, though.

"I…," Keyleth started, "I'm not sure where to begin, really. I guess by apologizing, maybe? Because I really am sorry, Vex, I never meant to keep this from you for so long... I didn't think it was happening at first, and then I was so worried about it going wrong, and then  _ you _ were pregnant, and--”

"Tempest," the bodyguard (Derrig, his name was Derrig) stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should start at the beginning."

Keyleth nodded, taking a deep breath as she turned back to Vex, her eyes determined and looking more like the Keyleth that Vex knew and loved (even when she was mad at her).

"So, after...after Vax, and Vecna, and Pandemonium and everything, I decided I was just going to go back to Zephra and try to rebuild. You and Percy had each other, Scanlan and Pike and Grog were their own unit, and... I don't know, I didn't want to make things worse by hanging around and moping when you'd just lost your brother. So, I went home, and things didn't get easier." She paused, running a hand through her hair. "I was exhausted all the time, I kept having really bad mood swings, there were weird muscle aches...I think I knew," she chuckled bitterly, "but it didn't make sense. I'd thrown myself off a cliff, and when Pike brought me back, she just brought  _ me _ back."

Vex... hadn't considered that. But she'd died too, killed by Vecna the same time that he killed her brother, and Vesper was fine…Her confusion must have been obvious to Keyleth. 

"You see why I didn't think it was possible? So when the healer in Zephra said I...I was pregnant," she stumbled over the word, as if she was uncomfortable saying it out loud to somebody else, "I sort of freaked out..it didn't make sense, so I did something sort of stupid. I guess I did a lot of stupid things...at least they seem stupid now, anyway."

The story she told Vex was hard to listen to, because it just sounded so unnecessarily painful for Keyleth, and because it hurt to hear that she didn't feel like she could trust Vex, or  _ any _ of them, with what was happening to her. She went to confront a goddess by herself, she worried for months about what the Raven Queen planned for her children (did She have something in mind for Vesper, how had the fact that her daughter's existence was a miracle never even  _ occur _ to her), she went through all the same anxieties and fears that Vex had, but she did it...not alone, but not with Vox Machina. Not with her.

"So," Vex interrupted, holding up a hand as she closed her eyes, trying to quell the storm of emotions inside her, "so you thought that it would be better to keep your children a secret--"

"Just until they arrived! Then I'd know they were safe and healthy!"

"You  _ thought _ it would be better to keep this to yourself, instead of letting us help you? We could have gone through this together! We could have helped you! I don't...Keyleth, I can see where your logic was coming from here, but I don't  _ understand _ ." At some point, Percy had come in, his hand on her shoulder anchoring her, keeping her from being swept away by her emotions. "Didn't you trust us? Trust me?"

Keyleth was silent for a moment, eyes fixed on the floor.

"Well?"

"I...I didn't want to tell you, and get you excited, because if something happened... I didn't want you to lose Vax again." Her voice was so quiet, Vex had to strain a little to hear her, and what she said...it didn’t make sense to her. Her confusion must have been evident, because Keyleth sighed and shook her head a bit. “We all lost Vax. But you lost your  _ brother _ . Maybe someday I might be able to try and let somebody in again, I’ve got nothing but time,” she laughed bitterly, eyes hard, “but you can’t just replace your brother...if I told you that I was pregnant, and that there was going to be a part of him that got to live on here? And then something happened, I did something wrong, and that thread was gone? And I had to tell you that? No. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to wait, until everything was okay...but then I talked to the Raven Queen and you were having Vesper, and I couldn’t steal your thunder then! Then my magic was weird, everything felt like it was too much, and it felt like it was too late to tell you.”

Vex was silent, trying to make her face as unreadable as possible as she processed everything. Stripping away any feelings she had about the situation, the facts were fairly straightforward.

Keyleth had a child. Keyleth had  _ children _ .  _ Vax _ had children, children he’d never known about and would never meet and who would never know him as more than stories and feathers.

She was an aunt. She was an _ aunt _ . Vesper had  _ cousins _ . 

She’d apparently been an aunt for a few months now, and Keyleth had, for numerous reasons, decided it would be better to keep the existence of her children hidden from her closest friends, her family. It seemed like one of those reasons, or at least the one that weighed on her the most, was because she didn’t want to upset Vex. Like her grief was somehow worth less than Vex’s, her children a dangling sword hanging over her head rather than the miracle they actually were.

She’d decided it would be better, for months, to keep her anxieties, hopes, fears, all her feelings, to herself, rather than let them in.

Vex didn’t understand. She wasn’t sure she ever would understand...but their circumstances had been so different...Vex hadn’t done any of it alone. She’d had Percy by her side, and that had made all the difference. If Vax was still here...well. If Vax was still here, everything would be different (everything would be better). They wouldn’t be having this conversation, there was nothing that she would have needed to hide…

“I know it sounds stupid now,” Keyleth continued, “but I just...I didn’t know what to do, and--”

“It doesn’t sound stupid.”

Keyleth looked as surprised as Vex felt, as she continued. “You were scared. When Percy and I found out we were expecting, I was excited...and then I was absolutely terrified. I had no idea what to expect, what was normal! My mother never got a chance to tell me those things, we’d just lost Vax, you were in Zephra…if things had been reversed, if it was me doing this alone, maybe I’d have done the same thing. I don’t know, and it doesn’t really matter now, does it? Your...your children, they’re here? And they’re healthy?” Keyleth nodded, and a small weight that had formed in Vex’s chest was lifted. “So everything you were afraid of before, it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. I’m mad that you lied, and I’m hurt that you didn’t feel like you could tell me…but I won’t be forever. Gods knows that I’ve kept things from you and the others before, I’ve given you plenty of reasons to be angry and never forgive me, but you always do. And...and so will I. You’re my friend. You’re my  _ sister, _ ” and gods, she was crying, she could feel it, “and I will  _ always _ forgive you.”

Keyleth sniffled, eyes wide and shining, and Vex huffed, standing up and crossing the distance to pull her into a hug as they both lost their composure, crying as they held each other tight. Keyleth kept whispering apologies between sobs, Vex hushing her and stroking her hair, the anger that had burned bright the night before fading away to a sort of understanding. What Keyleth did would never make total sense to her, but it was in the past. The hurt from her deception, like the pain she felt whenever she thought about her brother, would fade in time, replaced with good memories and love for the nieces or nephews she had yet to meet. 

“Tell me about them? Your children?” she asked as she pulled away, wiping at her eyes and glancing back at Percy. He’d been silent the whole time, departing once to check on their daughter, but he gave her a nod and a small smile, moving to adjust his glasses. His eyes were wet, and they’d have to talk about this with him later, along with so many other things...but that could wait a little longer.

Keyleth’s smile was uncertain yet bright. “Actually...I was wondering...would you like to go meet them?”

\---

Vex hadn’t spent much time in Zephra. There had been the completion of Keyleth’s Aramenté, a few visits during the year before Vecna, but that had been it. It seemed to her like the village hadn’t changed much. The view was still stunning, the winds still strong...a good place to grow up, to raise a family.

Vax had loved it here. He’d told her about how different it was, a stark contrast to Syngorn, closer to the life they’d shared with their mother, with a wildness that made it just different and exciting enough to keep things fresh. During her few visits, he’d shown her around, pointing out specific trees, where he taught classes, where Keyleth met with the council...he’d never said it directly, but it was clear that he had been loving his retirement, was looking forward to having a family and spending his days there. If it hadn’t been for the far off look he’d gotten once or twice, the way his hand would go to his chest unconsciously, they could have just forgotten about the Raven Queen and Her claim on him.

She pushed those thoughts aside. She was here to meet her nephews, not think about what could have been. If she wanted to think about the what ifs of her brother’s life, she could have done that at home. No, this was a happy occasion...she had nephews! She was an aunt, Percy was an uncle! It was something she’d never thought would happen. All thoughts of anger and hurt had been pushed away for now, replaced with questions about Keyleth’s children. As they made their way to Korrin’s house, Keyleth chattered, answering her questions excitedly.

“ _ Sorcerers,  _ really! How did that happen?” Vex had linked arms with Percy, the two of them doing their best to keep up as Keyleth quickly walked down the paths to her father’s home, Derrig trailing slightly behind. “Seriously, how do sorcerers even happen?”

“Gilmore said sometimes it just happens. Neither of his parents had magic, and nothing strange ever happened to them that could have triggered latent magical abilities.” She shrugged, smiling a little. “They were pretty active before they were born. Magically, I mean. It was weird...but they haven’t done anything since they were born, which is sort of a relief. I mean, can you imagine trying to change diapers and your baby casts a spell?” She laughed.

It was clear that she was still nervous. 

“I certainly can’t,” Percy chuckled softly. “Vesper is quite the handful without magic. We have a bassinet set up in my workshop, just so I can be nearby if she needs anything...it would be just our luck if she decided she wanted to start casting while in there.”

They’d left Vesper behind with Cassandra again, promising further explanations when they returned, asking her to make their excuses to their guests, to let the other members of Vox Machina they would be back soon...she was in capable hands, but after the events of the previous night, they were both a little nervous to leave her behind. Vex wondered if Keyleth had felt the same way, leaving her sons in Zephra. They may have been safe, but leaving your child alone for a long period of time, especially for the first time...it was difficult. Given the speed at which Keyleth was walking, the determination of her gait and the set of her spine, Vex figured it was safe to assume they both felt the same, leaving their children alone.

Korrin greeted them at the door, one child in hand as he smiled at his daughter and ushered them all in, directing them to his living room before anyone save Keyleth could get a good look at the baby. Vex thought she saw a bit of reddish hair sticking out, but beyond that, the child was held in a way that kept them secure...but also kept them looking away from the party of visitors. 

“I didn’t expect you back so soon,” Korrin said to Keyleth, passing her the child in his arms. “Nor did I expect you to bring company...is everything alright?”

Keyleth shrugged, glancing at Vex quickly before looking back at her father. “There were some unexpected developments at the wedding. Everyone is fine, but...well. Vex and Percy wanted to meet their nephews. So, here we are!”

Nephews. Keyleth had little boys, then, and gods, she had  _ nephews _ . Vex couldn’t help but smile at that revelation, looking at Percy and taking his hand, squeezing it tight as she quietly repeated the word to herself. He smiled softly at her, giving her a small nod. The whole situation was overwhelming and insane, which seemed to be par for the course for the last 24 hours or so, but the knowledge that Keyleth had little boys and she was going to meet them, she was going to see Vax’s children, children she didn’t even know existed until last night…

Keyleth and her father were talking about something, their voices lowered to the point where neither Vex nor Percy could make out what they were saying. Keyleth still looked nervous, glancing back at them once more, holding her son close to her chest. Korrin said something, clapping her on the shoulder, and she seemed to relax a little, whatever her father was saying comforting her and easing her nerves. Vex felt an unexpected twist of jealousy at the sight, seeing what a father and a daughter should be like. What she never had and most likely never would. The feeling was gone just as quick as it came, and she swallowed it down. It was Syldor’s loss, not hers. Her daughter would never feel how she had felt growing up, nor would Vex let the shadow of her father haunt her and taint her love for her family.

“You can sit down, you know,” Derrig said, pulling her out of her thoughts. He gestured to a chair next to him and a small couch across from it. “She’s probably gonna be a few minutes...if one of the boys is up, the other is probably napping. They don’t always like to cooperate and synch up their naptimes.” He chuckled and smiled fondly. “My girls were the same. Well, they still are, but they’re much more vocal about it.”

They didn’t really know much about Derrig. It made sense, Keyleth had never mentioned him during her few visits and apart from a few passing mentions of a bodyguard in her letters, he was still an unknown to them all. They knew he was married and apparently had children, and that despite his role, he and Keyleth were close, and that...well, that was it.

“Tell us about them,” Percy asked as he sat on the small couch, Vex joining him after a moment. “Your children.”

Derrig’s grin was wide as he spoke of his daughters (sweet Pelor, he had  _ triplets _ ), his little boy, his wife...he talked about his family, and how Keyleth had managed to fit into it during the past year. He filled the room with stories of his girls as babies, Percy interjecting and sharing tales about Vesper, the two men getting completely absorbed in conversation about their daughters. It was sweet, and under normal circumstances, Vex would have been happy to sit and watch, and interject to sing her daughter’s praises, but her attention was drawn away by a cough from the doorframe. She looked over, seeing Keyleth with two small bundles in her arms, and immediately stood up, crossing the room to meet her nephews for the first time.

They were small. Well, smaller than she’d expected...but perhaps that made sense. Twins were usually smaller, and Vesper had been on the larger side of things...but…

Gods, they looked like Vax. They both did.

The red haired boy had his eyes, the other one had his hair, they both had his ears, his nose…It wasn’t just her brother she saw in them, though. She saw Keyleth, naturally, but she also saw her mother in them, just a bit. She saw herself. She saw Vesper.

“Vex,” Keyleth said softly, “I’d like you to meet your nephews. Simon,” she nodded towards the dark haired child, “and Shaun.”

Simon...oh, he would have  _ loved _ that. And of course, Shaun, Gilmore was family, Vax had loved him, and if he knew about the babies already then clearly he and Keyleth had spent time together…

“Can...can I hold them?”

Keyleth nodded, gently passing her Shaun, who stared up at her with wide grey eyes, before passing her Simon, who babbled slightly, one fist still gripping his mother’s hand.

It was...it was similar, to holding Vesper, but at the same time, there was something about holding her sister’s children that was unique, different from holding her own daughter, yet no less indescribable. No less wonderful.

Vax would have adored them. He would have been such an incredible father...if he’d been here, he’d have been bragging about them and singing their praises, turning their children into a bit of friendly competition between the two of them, as he’d done with so many things. Did he know about them now? Could he see them, from wherever he was?

“Hello, you two,” she said, her voice heavy with feeling. “I’m your Aunt Vex. I’m so glad to finally meet you both.”

There was still much to be done, Vex knew. Keyleth still had to tell the rest of Vox Machina, and introduce them to her children. They would need to meet Vesper, and Trinket, and Kaylie and Cassandra, all of the members of their chaotic little family. There was still a lot she and Keyleth needed to discuss, a year of lost moments and secrets to bring out into the open (she was still a bit mad about everything, after all). To say nothing of the chaos of the wedding and the events of the night before, which still weighed on her mind like the chains that had dragged her into the ocean...gods, she was going to have to deal with all of that.

But that would come later. Right now the only things that mattered were her sister, her nephews, and her husband.

“Keyleth, they’re beautiful...yes, that’s right, you two, you’re both  _ beautiful _ ,” she laughed as Simon decided that her hair was much more interesting than his mother’s finger, grabbing it and giving it a small, curious tug. “Yes, my hair looks like yours! Your father and I had the same hair as you! But you know who has  _ really _ interesting hair?” she dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, leaning her face down closer to the boys in her arms, Shaun giving her cheek a small pat as she did so. “Your Uncle Percy. Shall we go meet him and say hello?”

Keyleth’s eyes were bright with tears, her laughter just a bit wet as her boys babbled in Vex’s arms. 

Yeah...they were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously there's still a lot Keyleth and Vex are going to need to talk about and work through to get to a real 'ok' in things once again. But this is a start, and given that Vex literally died the night before, I think that a lot of other things that could have come up on both sides may have been pushed to the side (for now) because of that.
> 
> But they're going to be okay. It'll take work, but they're gonna be okay. 
> 
> We're in the endgame now. Next chapter is gonna be a timeskip, and then we've got a very special epilogue and then, barring a few inevitable oneshots (I've got one in mind thanks to certain events in CR2), we'll have reached the end of this little monster! I hope you've enjoyed it, I'm sorry for the delays and erratic update schedule. Thank you for sticking with me through this whole process! Enjoy the last few chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure how long this is going to be, or how it's all going to break down. I've got a plan for it, though, and I'll try to stick with it as best as possible. This is an idea I've been sitting on for a while, and something I've been working on for just as long. It's not done yet, but...I think I'll be able to finish this. No, I know I'll be able to finish it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this.


End file.
